Hi Beany :)
IMO, choke/training collars when properly used are not cruel. In fact, it's kinder than allowing the dog to put pressure on the throat when pulling hard on a buckle collar. That "Euro lean" as we call it, is not humourous after a while :P. :(
If there's someone around you that really knows how to show you how to fit, put on and "snap" the collar, it's really much easier than trying to explain it online. Used incorrectly, it won't hurt the dog, but it is ineffective and frustratingly useless :Rolleyes:
I've always used them with my dogs.... Samma automatically heels with hubby now that she's back to using one instead of a body harness. She can feel it tightening and moves back into place without him doing anything to correct her. I just don't think buckle collars are felt as clearly by the dog.
I'd also suggest trying a head harness type, those work nicely if you can get it to fit comfortably on the dog. But there is a bit more of an adjustment to make for the dog to get used to one.
hth, good luck
toodles