And another thing...

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.  This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them. A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.   
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counseling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an  exercise outdoor yard, with  gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The "criminals" would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week.
Live in a tiny room and pay £900.00 per month and have no hope of ever getting out.  
Justice for all we say.
 
AND...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a
single cow, born in Bourne almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Lincolnshire?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls.
But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE BRITISH CONSTITUTION

They kept talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ...

Why didn't we just give them ours? It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for centuries and we're not using it anymore.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or Parliament, is this -

You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians ..... It creates a hostile work environment.


I didn't think I was at all old or grumpy, but after reading and agreeing with this - I must be really old and very grumpy!!

LOL I agree with all that so Im a grumpy as well.

I find myself talking about bottles of milk, crates of crona at Christmas and bread to the door in a big whicker basket and you were so trusted you paid on a saturday - milk, bread ect.. You could run a tab at the local corner shop. You could walk the street safely, you could not afford to get legless!! you gave Mum half your wages and you were in and out of all your mates houses and your aunties houses.

Lets close this one now before I get even more nostalgic!!  Im 55 by the way.

Me too , but i think i knew it anyway !!

Lol I must be grumpy as well

I've been in this club a while, and my OH is the original Victor Meldrew.

I must be the wrong side of 50 as I now laugh along with 'Grumpy old women' on TV, and I agree with Germaine
Greer - who I couldn't stand 20 years ago.

I'm the right side of 50 (just) so maybe not so old but definitely Grumpy!! :-D :-D

I'm with you Dakkobear with the age and the grumpiness. I can't abide corrupted spelling ( ie Kids Korner) incorrect use of grammar and now find myself commenting loudly when something has annoyed me, such as when a unsolicited sales call asks me how I am today? I often think that I've just thought things but then realise by the looks on peoples faces that I've said it out loud  I also seem to tut alot, my husband and grown up kids seem to walk off and leave me a fair bit when out in public :(
None of these things used to worry /annoy me!!

Brilliant!

> I'm with you Dakkobear with the age and the grumpiness. I can't abide corrupted spelling ( ie Kids Korner) incorrect use of grammar and now find myself commenting loudly when something has annoyed me, such as when a unsolicited sales call asks me how I am today? I often think that I've just thought things but then realise by the looks on peoples faces that I've said it out loud  I also seem to tut alot, my husband and grown up kids seem to walk off and leave me a fair bit when out in public :-(
> None of these things used to worry /annoy me!!

LOL are we twins???

>> LOL are we twins???

possibly triplets - and I'm getting worse too :-D

Could be quads :) Oh well, I will be 50 soon!

Me too.....  :-( Some so n so keeps drawing lines all over my mirror!!

Grumpy, nah that's not grumpy!!!  lol  You can be old if you like.. ;-)

> Some so n so keeps drawing lines all over my mirror!!

Your lucky it's just lines, I look into my mirror and there's always a monkey looking back at me .;)

very old and grumpy
Was annoyed and voiced it when two young men drove up screeched to a halt and bought icecream while we were minding our own business watching the boats running in and out of the Humber they had music so loud it shook our car they chucked the cartons out the window and screeched away again they almost demolished the bin on the way out. At the same time I watched at least 10 people walk their dogs past a sign 3ft high that said no dogs on the beach may to 30 sept straight onto the sand is there any wonder people dont like dogs when some owners are so irresponsible, This was three weeks ago so well before the end of the ban. One day we will banned all year round because of these selfish idiots I love dogs but some dog owners take the biscuit

however,not being allowed on beaches is very annoying!I suppose its the few who wont clean up who spoiled it for the rest of us,as usual.Sometimes one feels like a second class citizen,not allowed here,not allowed there!

Think I've been there a while despite only hitting 50 last mth lol.

Unsolicited phone calls are answered with 'and you are, where have you got my number and what makes you think I wish to discuss your product/survey/offer when I've not contacted you?' Funny how they say sorry and go lmao.

I check my receipts BEFORE I leave the till/checkout, amazing how supermarkets have the offers displayed yet its not given at checkout -  in my case it is, Co - op gave me a full refund on a discounted item that was the 3rd to not go thru correctly.

And don't even get me started on young herpetologists wanting to make stupid offers for your equipment coz their lizards/snakes are growing and they NEED to get a bigger viv - duh feed them they grow, you can't afford 2nd hand prices then sell ya lizard/snake coz you can't afford to keep the poor thing, I'm not a charity or desperate! 

You forgot something; REAL police officers out on the beat. I am very grumpy but definitely not old. Oh dear - my nose has for some reason just reached the floor,forgot this was the punishment for telling "porky pies".

I'm grumpy, always have been and always will be :)

I surpassed myself this morning and even I feel a little ashamed. I admit to not being particularly child friendly anymore, been there done that!
I was in the supermarket car park when a woman was walking past with her child in a buggy who just kept screaming, obviously the child realised that it's voice was echoing. She made no attempt to make it be a bit quieter; I was unpacking my trolley, leant in the car and the child let a real rip roarer go, I jumped and banged my head and without thinking yelled very sternly "QUIET" I just forgot myself and thought I was at home telling the dogs to stop barking at the pigeons, squirrel, clouds etc etc. Both mother and child were stunned into silence and there was not a peep out of either as they got into their car which was parked behind mine.

My husband will think it amusing as he calls me Cruella Deville :) In my defence I have nothing against well behaved kids who don't have to be the centre of everybodys universe.

I'd probably have done the same - and banged my head ;)   but who can blame a small child, bored from being in the supermarket, enjoying learning about physics and accoustics ?  :D

I've never understood the toddler screaming thing - even before I got grumpy   We get it a lot at the local supermarkets.  Baby/toddler letting out regular high pitched and very loud blood curdling screams (not crying) and the parents simply ingore the child completely, no eye contact, nothing - it's as if the child doesn't exist :(    Maybe there's my answer?, the child is desperate for any kind of attention it can get?

I've noticed that babies used to contact/involvement with parents and siblings don't seem to feel the need to scream.

My daily motto -

You're born - you live - you die.

Incase anyone wanted cheering up like :)

> My husband will think it amusing as he calls me Cruella Deville

Mine also, but not said as a joke!

> I've noticed that babies used to contact/involvement with parents and siblings don't seem to feel the need to scream

I'm going to be old and grumpy and say that you have obviously never had a baby that screams ...................... :)

Daisy

I remember when Babies used to be left outside the supermarket, if I had a supermarket I'd made that compusery and allow dogs in.

I love kids, I have never eaten a whole one though. But like other posters I have been there, done that and worn the sick.
I took a friend of mine out last week, Mum to two lively toddlers, she just needed a break. But all we got through our whole meal was a screaming child! I felt sorry for the parents, but I felt more sorry for my friend. I thought she was going to cry, she had gone to all the effort of a sitter etc!!
Sometimes, I would like to be able to have an adult only area ;-)

I remember when babies got left outside shops too, I walked away and left one there on more than one occassion!!

Bilbobaggins for Prime Minister!!!!
A adult only area- yeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssss please!!

I have been there etc etc, but I find nowdays SOME parents just yell obscenities at their spawn or ignore them which makes them crank up the volume.
Please note I am only saying SOME!!

Of course the adult only area would have to admit dogs :)

I did it too, left the poor child in the pram and headed off for home without him

But my take on the child free areas being required is.....no, I hate it when children are excluded from wedding invitations too........really bugs me.
I love my children, and they came with me as a package. If they screamed or became unruly it would have been for a reason, and it would be dealt with.
I am the only mother/parent I know who was unable to commit to anything for the first 12 months of my babies lives, in case they had more pressing needs.
I was never cut out to be a super woman; never ahad any inclination to try either.

Karen

> If they screamed or became unruly it would have been for a reason, and it would be dealt with.
>

Of course you would as most of us do or have, but sometimes the problem is, some parents don't.I would never want "seen but not heard" as the norm and I really can have empathy for the parents, it is just sometimes I feel like saying. "take notice of your child, they will be grown up and gone faster than you will ever imagine"

NOW that does show my age!!!

> Bilbobaggins for Prime Minister!!!!
>

They are the biggest kids of them all...

Ah, bilbobaggins the wise one...............

I think that might be the most irritating thing....knowing what 'should' be happening, not what 'is' happening in most situations.

Karen :)

> done that and worn the sick.
>

ROFLMAO!!

> I did it too, left the poor child in the pram and headed off for home without him <IMG alt=eek src="/images/eek.gif">
>

I recently had a lady bringing her bitch for one of my boys.

She got half way to my place, and realised that she had left her bitch at home!

((( :-D ))) Thanks Dill! *chortle*

Ah can't highlight sawheaties comment on iPhone

But parents(can you call them that?) shouting and swearing at kids, hurts my ears and I feel myself physically cringe.. Lol.  So I find myself avoiding certain supermarkets now, rather pay an extra £5 for piece and quiet, and avoid my face contorting every few seconds...

Suejaw I wonder if it's the same supermarket that I avoid like the plague????? The added downside for this store is that it has a distinctive odour as it is situated next to the sewage farm :(

> I wonder if it's the same supermarket that I avoid like the plague?????

Probably, but as far as sewage is concerned thats even more of a reason for one not to shop there surely? But their adverts like to pat their bottoms quite a fair bit ;-) Is that a clue?

I'm not going to agree that all kids screaming don't get attention or are from any type of family as many kids from all walks of lives have tantrum's, I know I had my fair share in shops as a young child **blushes**..

I know we are of a time when we need to cut back and save our pennies, but not at the expense of my ears, I mean who wants to hear 'humans' swearing at kids. Now I see that a normally fairly expensive supermarket are cutting back their prices on branded goods I think I may just have to go and find out - now there is a place for peace and quiet to do your shopping :-)

Yes it's the bottom patting one; I wonder if M&S might take up that advertising?? sadly can't afford to shop there for all my food.

Oh dear - I wish!  

My first screamed and cried non-stop for the first two years, day and night - she was allergic to ...   milk!   and cheese, it made her hyper   Needless to say as a new mum I got the blame, even my parents were no help - until they had her for half a day - and the neighbour accross the road knocked on the door to find out what they were doing to the child !!!   the second one had regular screaming and crying fits as he had a very painful condition which took until he was 3 to sort out.   And both had the odd tantrum while I was out with them, usually dealth with by a quiet word in their ear, and if that didn't work there was always a quiet corner where they could calm down.

But this is't what I'm referring to, not the distressed child, the child who screams once regularly like some kind of bird, except NO bird can produce ear-splitting volume like that.  And the parents are completely olivious!    I have noticed that when 'Granny type' people stop and talk to the child it stops and is perfectly happy.  Hence my conclusion that the child is either bored, in which case give it something to do/carry/play with/chew (supermarkets are incredibly boring at the best of time for children) or has ramped up it's efforts to try and get some interaction with another human ;)

Totally agree with loving to see chlidren and babies at weddings, funerals, restaurants - any function really.  After all they are small (and often very lively) humans and should be treated as such and included in general life as much as possible  :-D

I was a screamer and tantrum thrower as a child (not going to say about now!) so I do sympathise with parents with noisy children. What I object to is the parents that make no effort to correct them, and I don't mean by swearing at them. I remember being told off and then dragged out of numerous restaurants / theatres etc rather than just be left to scream and ruin everyone else's night out.

Takes me back I had two with 2 years between and I remember going to town one day, Ben was 2 and he used to scream - got into Woolies and he started, I turned around marched back to the car drove home (20 miles) left him with Mum and took Sam (baby shopping.) Next time he started I told him I would take him home - silence.

Going along the road boy fighting over a book, took said book and hurled it out of the window - same result - aha I thought!!

When older if they fought (Mum he's looking at me funny!!) we would stop the car give them 20p and say wait for a bus - that worked as well.

They still remember the book episode the road between Mum and Us was littered with books and toys but they learnt. I just did not let them scream and holler I was too embarassed.

But it isnt easy, but those were the days of a smack!! not an all out beating - a smack. I dont think things have improved that much at all. Thats why im glad Im passed the childbearing bit but bring on the grandchildren I love babies!!

I think there is definitely something up with kids nowadays and not just babies either - everywhere I go I seem to hear kids shreiking! Why? Do they have some strange object piercing their heads that make them shriek constantly? We never felt the need to shriek like that as kids even if we were over excited. I blame it on food additives and caffeine loaded drinks!

On the subject of young babies crying I remember reading somewhere years ago that the sound of a newborn crying will affect other mums too as we have an inbuilt trigger that makes us want to help the baby in distress - don't know if its true but I do get more upset than angry on hearing a tiny baby crying. Toddlers crying just bug me - that's the grumpy gene! :-D :-D

I'm not very child-friendly and I'm afraid it annoys me rather than upsetting me - unless the child really is distressed of course. Mind you when I was babysitting my nephews, the 1 year old woke up and cried because his dummy had rolled away in his cot, so I was holding him and rocking him and singing 'go back to sleep, go back to sleep' because I couldn't remember any lullabies on the spur of the moment, haha!

You can sing anything to babies its the tone that matters not the words - so I suppose you could sing 'Firestarter' as long as you did it in a sing-song voice :-D :-D

From about 12 months old, if I sang to my daughter she would try and clamp her hand on my mouth to stop me!!!

I love singing, but everyone hates listening  ;-(

I was in a shop recently and a child in a buggy let out the loudest scream I'd ever heard - ignored of course by granny(?) pushing him. It honestly deafened me temporarily and I dropped my shopping to stick my fingers in my ears. I'm one of 4 kids and my mum says she could take all of us into shops without all that palaver. If that child was mine I would've had to do something, not walk round like a zombie. Whilst I'm on the subject (sorry Mums) parent/child spaces in supermarkets should be right at the bottom end of the car parks then the little ones could burn off some energy before they get into the shop and not run, run, run amok up and down the aisles grabbing stuff and eating it before it's paid for. Do I qualify for No.1 spot in the grumpy hit parade?

Ha WolfieStruppi that's the scream - you've heard it!    And the child is always accompanied by an oblivious Zombie - such a good description.  It has the same effect on me too :(

Evil me used to tell mine when they were little that the MANNEQUINS in the shops used to be naughty children and grown-ups - it worked for the longest time :D

My two weren't perfect by any means, but I always tried to stop them being a nuisance to others ;)

> Whilst I'm on the subject (sorry Mums) parent/child spaces in supermarkets should be right at the bottom end of the car parks

So agree think the younger you are the further away you should park. Though the parent/child spaces came in handy when my Mum was very poorly and her 40+ child used to take her shopping!

> Though the parent/child spaces came in handy when my Mum was very poorly and her 40+ child used to take her shopping!

Ditto, they can't say we're not parent and child lol.

I hate screaming kids in teh supermarket or run into your trolly without even a thankyou.  but I hate adults who barge past you without an excuse me.  Its surprizing how vocal you can be to them. 

God i think I'm getting grumpy.