We recently lost our lovely Goldie Sandy and were greatly helped over a very short but fatal period for him by members of this wonderful site. We know it's early days yet (he only died two weeks ago) but we seem to be stuck in a period of real mourning and can't shake it off. We rescued him from a cruel situation and over the  two and a half years he was with us we managed to get him his confidence back and re socialised. He wanted so much in his own way to repay us by being such a trusting,happy and loving pet. it feels so cruel that he only had sucha short time with us.
We don't know whether to go straight out and find another dog who needs help to help us get over Sandy's loss which was so sudden and unexpected or wait to see how things go.
We're in a sort of limbo at the moment and can't work out what to do for the best. We are both pensioners who feel our house has gone very quiet.
What have other people in this situation done, or are we just softies who need to get over it?

You are obviously missing Sandy a great deal but also the companionship of a dog, taking it out walking and meeting people etc.  I would like to suggest you start to look for your next companion, take your time to find the one that suits you and feel you bond with.  It will give you something to help take the pain of your loss away and hopefully give some other fortunate dog a wonderful new life.
Many of us have more than one dog so don't have the empty house syndrome but do feel the lose of each individual dog in other ways - the gap where they used to lay, only getting 4 bedtime Bonio's instead of 5, their individual characters - takes some adjusting to....
Wishing you luck in finding another canine companion.

I like many others here have  been in your situation before.

The grief and sense of loss is overwhelming at first but then subsides to a 'missing' your pal.

With one dog's loss we waited 2 months before looking for a replacement.  With another it was 3 weeks before taking in another who needed a home.

With some it took over a year before I got another.

In all case I found the best way to honour the memory of the dog I lost was to find another that needed help.  Our dogs give us so much pleasure, they give far more than I can ever give them back.  If each one has only ever left good memories it follows that you would want to repeat the experience.

You will know when it is your right time to repeat the experience. 

Please don't try to fill the gap in your heart with another dog, as none can fill that actual space. Look to give love to another dog in need and allow him/her to create their own space in your heart. You can never replace a beloved friend but can allow another into your life in their own right. You have so much love and there are so many dogs in need of love, that I'm sure it will help you to fill the emptiness in your house with another little soul that will have it's own character and funny ways. It is too easy to try to compare the new dog with the previous one, but that very rarely works, so just allow the new dog to be himself and love him for his own ways.

Only you will know if you have it in you right now to take on another dog, whether that be a young pup or an older dog.
Would you be looking to have another Goldie or a different breed or type? Sometimes its good to go with what we know but other times its good for a change.

A family member lost a Lab 2yrs ago now and it was a shock and not expected at the time, he was 5 :-(. Anyway within 2 month the family member had sought a litter and then another couple of months had a pup. He's never really bonded with the dog and finds him hard due to the fact this dog is fairly independent and wants to work, where as the other boy wanted to be at a humans side all the time. It was far too early in this case but at the same time they couldn't handle not having a dog around. Same breed they've always had..
Just something to think about.

Please don't expect to get over 2+ years of memories in a couple of weeks. You will go through the stages of grief much like losing a human family member.

As other posters have said you will know when the time is right to get another dog and do a spot of dog walking or sitting until you are ready. No, it won't replace your other one, and nor should it. In time you will remember the happy memories and be able to enjoy your new companion.

I am sure there are so many of us on here who know how you feel at the moment, there is just no right or wrong answer.
When I lost my girl at a very young age, I had other dogs to concentrate on so I just had to keep walking etc etc. One thing I did do was rearrange the furniture as my eyes would automatically go to where she used to lie.

It took me a year to get another to join our family, even at the last minute I was still unsure- was I being disloyal? I'm so glad we got her now, a totally different character from our first. A new dog is exactly that, not a replacement for an old friend, so you will have many happy memories of the one you have let go and many to look forward to with your new friend.

Could you volunteer at a shelter, do some walking or fostering whilst you adjust during this difficult time?

Good luck with your decision.

So sorry for your loss, and believe me I understand some of the emotions you are feeling :(
It is never too soon to want another dog, everyone is different, it helps some people to have another dog immediately and some have to wait until they feel it is the right time, if you are feeling it is the right time now, then go for it.
Your next dog will never replace Sandy, but he or she will help to fill the void and you will love them just as much but differently :)

If Ellie hadn't already been in whelp when I lost Henry I might have had second thoughts, as it hurt so much. But having a new puppy around the place is fun if time consuming, and considering that apart from being the same breed they are not related, Hetty is awfully like Henry in character.....

I have always had to replace my GSDs pretty quickly when they have died (1 at 12ish, 1 at 6ish) just to get out of a deep depression that affects me with their passing.

I wish you both well with what ever you choose to do.

I went straight out and got another dog (as it turns out within a week, though expected a much longer wait) to fill the void (not take her place, which they never can).

At the time I had just one dog.  Now that I have more then there is no rush as I have the others to ease the emptiness.

If you feel like you need a dog again now, I wouldn't hesitate.  You have a lot of love to offer a dog (or two) that might otherwise suffer or be neglected.

When you go and look at some, you'll know if its the right decision or if you like the dog (s).  Maybe look at two if its possible to alter things.

You should be able to work with a good rescue , if that's where you go, by trialing the dog maybe in the daytime to see if you can cope seeing another friend in the house or being able to return them.  Not ideal but better than you not liking the dog, which I don't think will happen. 

Putting you love, time and attention into another needing help can often help the grieving you're going through.  I think he would be proud for you to help other dogs.

Good luck.  I would be out there for another if things permitted.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Personally speaking i would have to get another asap...that's just me though, i know only too well that feeling of an empty house.

Do what you feel is right for you both..you will never replace your dog but the joy of giving another a home where you obviously have so much love to give will in time ease the pain you feel now.

Friends of mine have very recently lost their greyhound..when i asked if they were going to rescue another they said "Oh not for another couple of years"...2 weeks later i saw them walking along the seafront with their new rescue dog looking as happy as they had been before their loss..they said they couldn't stand the empty house any longer.

You will do what you feel is right in your hearts.

Good luck with what you choose.

Annee :)

I hope that whatever you decide it turns out well (()), for me it would be sooner rather than later but I think it is a personal choice and you will know when you are ready.

I am really sorry to hear about your loss.

Someone once told me that life with dogs is like a book, with each dog's life being a chapter. You will never replace Sandy, and wouldn't want to, his time with you was special and unique but as one chapter ends, another one starts.

The most I have ever lasted was two weeks before deciding to get another dog, however then there has always been a wait for the litter to be born, but at least it gave us something to look forward to whilst still grieving for our lost companion.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do and I hope the sad memories start to fade and you remember the happy times you shared.

My mother found herself in a similar situation. She lost her  dog and it hit her hard. She vowed she would never get another dog.
That state of affairs lasted two weeks and she was on the phone to me saying she had seen a litter of pups that she was interested in. It was a totally different breed and turned out to have a totally different personality. So there was never any 'replacing'  in her head but the awful gap was filled. If you feel ready go for it.

I am so sorry for your loss.  Only you can decide which path to take & i hope as time goes by the pain lessens.  One can never replace Sandy, although another dog can give you the focus to keep going through the heartache.  For some people it feels right to get another dog quickly & for others they wait.  After we had lost our 1st 2 dogs within 6 months of each other, we waited another 6 months & this felt totally right to us.  I would advise to just do what your heart is telling you.  Perhaps look into a rescue dog?

I remember as a child growing up if we lost a dog, Sweepie - Scotty, Nipper - Fox terrier, Purdie - Lakeland Terrier, Rebel - Griffon & Jack - Schipperke that outlived Mum. Each one was the last ever, each one (as you see) was different and each one very fulfilling in Mum's life - she did love and cherish her dogs.

We have had three before these two, two rescue dogs and 1 pup from one of the rescues all Heinz 57. Now in our 50's we have our pedigrees, but my son got me two things one a cushion with "Money isnt everything but it keeps your children close" and the other a sign "A home without a dog is just a house"  made a change from a mother day pressie of stuffed ducks.

You will know when its time never feel guilty at all, you dont replace, just start another chapter (Love that idea!!)

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.If you would give me a couple of moments i will relate what happened to our family earlier this year.
As a family we have always had a dog around.This year we very sadly lost our Stafford ( his name was Dereun,because when he we bought him he was a dear dog ) he was fourteen.I can't even begin to explain the feeling of loss we all suffered.We had to have him put to sleep,and it is without a doubt the worst thing my wife and i have ever expericened.My little boy was so unconsolable,Dereun was his best friend,they went everywhere together and even now 6 months down the line we still find him somtimes sitting in the kitchen where his bed used to be.I found myself looking for Dereun when i came in at night after work and the same with my wife.It was like the soul of the house had been ripped out.After some agonising decisions between the family we decided that we could'nt cope without a dog ( i think we lasted about 10 days before we bought another dog ).There is nothing like having a new pup ( i am sure everyone will agree )even if it is hard work at first.When we lose a pet, something we love,we start to compare them again'st what we may replace them with.You can't.The pleasure we as a family used to get from that little dog with his crooked teeth and a love for my smelly socks was un measurable and i still miss him dearly,but the dogs that i have got now although a completely differant breed ( Douge De Bordeaux )also give me imense pleasure ( and they both like my smelly socks,so that has to be a bonus ) but in a differant way.I am not going to say go and get a new pup or don't get one,but personally i don't think you can get anybody or anything that will give you as much unconditional love as the good old dog.One of my dogs is a rescue and the pleasure he gives us ,because he is so loving is out of this world.I dont know if this helps in any way but if nothing else hopefully it will have raised a smile.Take care.

That is a lovely post..i think most of us can relate to the pain..it really is like no other.
I hope the op's are reading all of the lovely post's and am sure they will do whats best for them.
:)

Just to say again thank you all so much for your kind thoughts and ideas. We have been very moved by the stories of others and it truly helps to know we are not alone in this. We shall for the time being just wait till the pain has subsided a bit and then see what we are moved to do. bless you all.

Please let us know what happens in the future; I am sure there is a dog who is going to be very lucky to be cared for by you.

> there is a dog who is going to be very lucky to be cared for by you.

I couldn't agree more.

The pain will ease in time, it's so hard to believe when the pain is so raw but it truly does.

Good luck to you both.

Big hugs :)

> or are we just softies who need to get over it? <IMG class=qButton title="Quote selected text" alt="Quote selected text" src="/images/mi_quote.gif">

Definitely no.  You are as normal as any dog lover can be.

I have a houseful of dogs, but have still got a paw print on my heart for my 17 year old that went last year.  The wonderful thing about loving a dog, is just how far love can stretch.

Just thought I'd drop a line. My heart was broken by the death of my first cocker spaniel when he was almost 14. I had him since I was ten and he was my absolute best friend. He only had eyes for me and the rest of my family were mere distractions to him! When he died, I vowed I would never again have a golden cocker spaniel. Well fast forward 6 years and here I am with 2! They light up my day. When my alarm clock goes off every morning, Alfie hops up to give me a good morning kiss! Lucy waits her turn and delivers hers. They give me such love and adoration, I could not be without them. So take your time to grieve for your lost friend. And when the time is right for you, you'll know it. You'll get your next dog not to replace Sandy but to continue his work as a faithful companion, to give you unlimited love and comfort.

I'm so sorry for your loss of Sandy. Each bereavement and heartbreak is unique, but I wonder whether our dogs wouldn't be more straightforward and see all that precious love and care you have to give as something that another dog, somewhere, somehow, will need and deserve. When you are ready you'll find that dog, or he'll find you--and then you can thank Sandy for showing you how much you have to share. Thinking of you and hoping tomorrow is a brighter day xxx

Many thanks Jay15...........appreciated and just the way we feel.
ps How did you know about the light coloured carpet?
Best wishes

How did you know about the light coloured carpet?

:) what light coloured carpet? :)

Hi Two Peas
Ive come upon this thread a little late but feel moved to add my thoughts.   Im so sorry about your loss.
Three years and eight months ago, we had to have our beautiful Golden Retriever Winston put to sleep.   He was fifteen and had had him since a pup and the pain of losing him was unbearable.   He'd been a respected member of our family - a gorgeous hunk of dog with a special 'presence', and that emply place on the carpet, the clean and tidy house was so painful.  It felt as though the home had lost its heart.
I started looking for a puppy a couple of weeks after.   Eight weeks later I was the proud owner of one lovely fluffy golden pup.  
Its easy for me to look back now from where I am.   Sherlock is lively, very bright and oh! so handsome!  He has a sense of humour and 'talks' to me in the way that GRs do.    In years of having numerous pets, until I had Sherlock, I never had a dog who was 'my' dog and he certainly is that. 
Initially, I found it very difficult to bond with Sherlock and it took me at least  a couple of months to actually 'fall in love' with him.   I found the boisterous puppy difficult after having had a sedate 15 year old and I was still mourning the loss of a most beloved dog.   Although I did love the pretty little puppy, I wanted my old dog back....and the ache didnt go away.
Roll the clock forward almost four years:  I adore this hound now but that isnt to say that I dont still hold a very special place in my heart for Winston who I still talk to and miss.   He was my boy for many years and he still is.
Its a personal choice when you take on another dog and only you can make that choice.   Bereavement for your pet takes time and some people heal quicker than others.  
I hope that you smile again very soon.
Warm regards
Mi_chelle

Thats such a lovely post Michelle...i often wonder how the "Two Peas" are getting along and to see if they have any more thoughts on the matter.