Hi I'm hoping someone will be able to help with a big problem...

Our Border Terrier, Bobby, is 10 years old & until recently was a very well trained & behaved creature.

We had twins two years ago & since then he has become a jealous little mite, weeing up their toys and now & again random places. Other than this he's absolutely fine.

We have had him checked for the usual medical possibilities & he seems fine. It really seems to be pure jealousy of the attention the girls get.

Yes we should pay him more attention & yes he gets less than he used to. But with 2 year old twins now on the scene, it just isn't possible anymore. The girls absolutely love him, and he loves them. We think we have tried everything & now need to make a decision...if we can't solve the problem, he has to go now, another 12 months & the girls we be old enough to be really upset if he is no longer around.

Any advice would be excellent, thank you.

Poor boy - would be a terrible shame for him to go to a new home at ten years old :(

The best way I found with all my dogs/kids is to integrate them as much as possible together. So when you take the girls out - take the dog - and vice-versa (yes its more effort and yes its a pain sometimes!!). As long as he is not funny over food, let them give him tit bits etc

I have never had any jealousy with my dogs, but my rescue staffy does wee in the house when upset or unsettled. He's probably picking up on your uncertainty over him.

Good luck

Hi
I would have thought that you are over the worst ,the girls are getting bigger, more independant and able to 'play' more games with the dog .maybe the winter will be the harder part -staying in the house more but by the spring i'm sure things will be alot different ,It would be a shame to get rid of the poor boy now at his age :(
Liz :)

This happened to a friend of mine, who had had a little boy, the dogs was weeing on the pram toys, and changing mat, when the little boy started to walk and talk, the dog turned on him, she let the dog have a few chances, but one day the dog ran straight for the little boy with no warning, and if it wasnt for my friends quick reaction the little boy would have had no chance. i am sorry if this isnt the news that you wanted hopefully your dog will not do this.

Saying that i had a dog which i took with me when i left home, he was 12 when i was pregnant with my daughter people said that Benjy would attack her, he didnt and we had another 4 years with him until he died he was 16 years old when we lost him.

So what i think i am saying is anything could happen so never leave the dog with the twins whilst your not there, take the dog with you when you take the twins out make him feel wanted.

I'm not sure dogs feel jealousy in the same way people do; but they do feel insecure and weeing of a previously clean dog in the house may sometimes be for such a reason.

I think a lot of questions need to be asked by yourselves, such as, how and when do you and also the children interract with the dog, does he get any quality time and training or is it always a case of "we are around so he has company?" as this isnt' enough for dogs IMHO.

Many dg owners with babies make the huge mistake of shutting the dog out, when doing "baby stuff", or shouting at the dog if he touches their toys, etc.....it can all make a dog very unhappy. It is best to involve the dog as much as possible, if necessary tying him up with a chew in the same room whilst paying the babies attention, maybe chating to him too, sounds silly but he would feel involved then.

My view is that he does feel insecure, not jealous, and with some work you could maybe turn this around. There are books you can buy which help with dogs, babies, etc. If you do feel in your hearts that he is unhappy, you cannot give him the time or love he needs, then do give him up but please take him to a highly reputable rescue, not just any one. A 10 year old boy needs the best possible chance of rehoming.

Lindsay

Hi,
I have to agree more with Lindsay and say that this behavior sounds more like insecurity than jealousy. Especially since the dog loves your children.
He is 10 years old and lived in a quiet house until he was 8...then all of a sudden, loud noises, crying, and stress occured. Perhaps he can't deal with the chaos. Does he seek quiet time away from the girls? Does he become anxious when they cry, scream, or when a parent corrects one? I don't have kids, but Samm goes nuts with distress everytime we're out and a baby cries. She can't handle their unhappyness.

There is also the possibility that you haven't noticed his usual signs to go outside or he feels that he can hold it until the very last second if you're busy. Is there any pattern to the peeing -- time of day, event, your absence, his location in the house? Is it after he's woke up from a nap or when you've been gone?

If it's during your away time, consider crating him and starting him back up like a puppy with regular outside breaks. I did that with my auld lady Yorkie when she hit 11 years old. 10 am, she went outside for a break when she woke up from her early morning nap. Create some sort of routine for him that he can look forward to.

I hope this helps give you some ideas. If he's hitting 11 years old soon, instead of rehoming him, try to give him some quiet alone time in your bedroom or somewhere safe. Dogs do need a lot of sleep in their middle to senior years. Samm is a very active dog at 9 years old, but she's basically up for play and interaction from 4pm - 7pm in the evenings. Well, unless the words, "walk" or "ride" are mentioned :rolleyes: :D
good luck,
toodles

Just thought you liked to hear about my dog Sally. I bought Sally when I was at home with my parents, she was eight weeks old, within a year I was pregnant. My husband and I moved into a flat with a newborn baby and a bouncy holigan pup (retriever X). We never shut her out of any rooms, she was allowed to be supervised (oviously)) around the baby etc. Everyday she was walked four times a day as we never had a garden being on sixth floor!!. When my child started playschool she walked with me and was included in everything posible and yes at times she was a b****y pain in the bum!!!, we had another baby. Sally used to nick their toys, they used to nick her chewy sticks, one of my girls used to cry if i didnt give her a bonio with the dog!! Sally is 12 years old now and sleeps most of the time, my girls are 11years and 8years and they love her and she them. Sally has always been here and is much a part of their lives as well.
All I am saying is yes young children and dogs are very hard work, but if you include him everything, you should be able to catch him before he wees on the toys etc. (few ideas, shout NO, clap your hands to distract him, or if hes food orientated control his moment by putting in the down and reward him.) you will probably have a few more accidents, but put in the HARD work and it will pay off. Good luck.

With your girls in nappies still I imagine, and probably their toys smelling of them, it could be that with a dogs keen nose he is weeing on their things in the same way he would overmark where another dog had weed, as he can smell the faint traces of urine smell that are bound to be about where the girls have slept with their toys.

I would suggest keeping him out of their room where most of their belongings are, and only keep washable toys where he has access.

Also keep him confined to an area of the house that has washable surgaces (Kitchen/Utility room) when you are too busy to supervise him.

At other times be very stern if he even attempts to lift his leg on things, and remove him from your presence.

Does he ever use a crate? If so, this might be somewhere he can be put with a chew toy when you are busy with the girls.

Well thanks for all the advice, I wasn't expecting all this!

Your suggestions have certainly given us a lot to think about, not least because the general view is to do everything to make things work. I was at least hoping for a bit more support for our view ;-)

We have tried everything, over the last 12-18 months, but we will try a little extra.

Once again, your input really is appreciated, thank you.

Our old Flat coat retriever was 3 years old when I had my first baby. I tried to make sure his life didn't change too much - still went for long walks, had the run of the downstairs house etc. As the babies grew, I put them and their toys in a wooden play pen - again, so the dog wasn't constantly nagged at or shut out.

Seemed to do the trick - he was a wonderful dog, the children grew up respecting him and everything was fine.

Incidently, we've just got a new flat coat puppy and my nine year old son is finding it difficult not being the 'baby' and having to cope with nippy teeth!! Good luck!

Sue