Help!!!!  I'm on day two and she's not used the potty once.  She won't sit on it for a long period of time and it's just driving me insane.  I'm finding it very hard to keep the 'not bothered it will happen' attitude required.  She's going to be three in just over a week.

Please help my sanity with any tips or advice!

Children are just like puppies. Some train almost immediately, others take longer. Don't force it, it will come when she is ready.

Actually, some go straight onto the toilet, not using a potty at all. Does she know what the toilet is for? Maybe a trainer seat for the loo might work out better for her.

Go and buy (or make) the biggest, brightest reward chart you can find...preferrably one that you can use stickers on and buy stickers of her favourite cartoon or show...at first just reward her with a sticker for sitting on it for a while and tell her when she does a wee she will get two and if she has a certin number of stickers at the end of the day she will get a little treat, dont use sweets or toys as the treat though...make it something like playing her favourite game, reading a book or baking cakes together.

The more you try and rush it the more she wont want to use it so everytime you change her nappy just ask if she would like to sit on the potty for five minutes first, if she says no then point out her reward chart, if she still doesnt want to just leave it until the next time you change her, but up your changing times to once an hour.

Buy her pants aswell with her favourite characters on and also make sure her pottys a very pretty one...us girls are visual and things seem better in pink :)

We've got a trainer seat, but she doesn't want to use it, says she'll sit on the 'little toilet'.

Bought her a Mickey Mouse reward chart, which she likes the idea of, but has a fit when I won't give her a sticker for it because she hasn't done anything in the potty.  We went out on Thursday and she picked the big girl pants that she wanted.

Maybe the potty's the problem.  Maybe I need to get a fancier one or let her choose one.

Honestly, I'm at my wits end.  She's quite a bright little girl so I don't see why she's digging her heels in about this and husband's not helping.  If there's a murder in Glasgow you'll know it's me!

My daughter bought a trainer seat that played a little tune when my granddaughter performed!  Not cheap. 

My grandson is doing well - he is quite happy to use the ordinary toilet seat - never bother with the potty - but this morning he got up (just when I had the other 2 in the middle of breakfast) and did it on my kitchen floor!   I am afraid I was a teensy bit negative about it!  Hadn't stopped since they all arrived yesterday afternoon and then ended up eating and sleeping here.  Been up since 5.30 when the first one woke up.

Don't despair they get it eventually.  Our son used to spend a penny in the garden when he couldn't get to the toilet in time.  At 3 he started school and embarrassed his sister by doing it in the yard at playtime!

Does she know in advance that she needs to go? is she able to tell you?

If not then she isn't physically ready and it's a waste of time for you both as you'll just get stressed and she'll get upset, which is counter-productive ;)

If she is physically ready and is able to tell you, then maybe leading by example will work.   With my two, I would announce that I needed the loo, in an oh-oh way and take them with me, making it a sociable occcasion.  They soon started copying me and used the toilet from the start.  Before that DD just wore her potty, which she chose, as a hat and didn't want to know about using it

Sounds like you're doing everything right then...just a case of putting on your best smile from now on....I bought my son a book to help him, theres lots of them out there that appeal to kids and have the subliminal message so to speak. He would only use the potty for a wee, refused to do a number 2 in it and would hold it in all day and wait till I put his bed time nappy on ! Are you still in contact with your health visitor ?? I remember mine used to do a seesion where kids of the same age would all learn about using the potty and the parents would get advise at the same time.

Day two is very early to be worrying :) Do you let her run around with no pants/nappy on during the day ? I found this is the best and the summer is ideal for this. Put the potty in a very prominent position in the kitchen/lounge (maybe with a changing mat underneath it in case she 'misses'. Just make no fuss if she doesn't bother, but she will get the idea. The training chart is a good idea, but no reward unless she tries to use the potty :) Perhaps take it with you when you go to the toilet and see if she will sit on it there :)

Daisy

I was going to say remove the nappies and she will then understand the need to use the toilet or potty. Don't scold accidents of course but praise if she asks to go, see it is just like training puppies.

Does your daughter go to a playgroup/nursery? I found trying to potty train my son a nightmare (as did my childminder). Once he went to full-time private nursery he soon just copied the other kids and was toilet trained in no time at all.

We had a toilet seat that had a big seat for adults and a smaller seat that flipped down for kids, then it had another bit that flipped down as a lid. If using a toilet seat you probably need to get a small plastic step so she can reach.

In the end my son never used any of the potties we bought he went straight to using the toilet. I do however know someone who swore by travel potties to have immediately to hand when out and about.

As others have said don't stress about it it will happen when it happens.

Ailsa

> I was going to say remove the nappies and she will then understand the need to use the toilet or potty

Yes - in the early stages of potty training, I found that the child is much more likely to recognise the need to use the potty when they have no pants/nappy on :)

Daisy

That is the trouble with today's nappies - they keep the baby dry and they don't know that they have been - they are too comfortable.

Not that I have any little uns, but all my friends (and I belive i myself was taught using this method) are doing nappy/pants off... run about nekkid from the waist down. Seems to be going according to plan (i seem to have half a dozen friends with kids at the potty training stage), as said... don't scold accidents but also... dont laugh when they mistakenly judge something to be a fart.... and it isnt. (Or maybe thats just me and my friends find that one hard not to giggle at!).

Potties as hats, storage for toys, place to sit and read a book but NOT wee/poo, as missiles!!... all seems to be par for course around here.

Another top tip... for those with little boys who are at the 'do it like daddy does' stage..... the message has to be 'shake it AFTER THE WEE IS FINISHED'..

Shaking it when the wee isnt finished........ baaaaaaaaaad bad thing. Oh so very bad. :D

When my children were small the nursery told us to toilet train once they got to the second birthday. They were both dry within two weeks as were most of the other kids.

I wouldn't have known when to toilet train but was told the older they get over two the harder it will be.

... the message has to be 'shake it AFTER THE WEE IS FINISHED'..


Or teach Daddy to use toilet paper.

Mine started potty training by the age of 2 , i kept a potty in the bathroom so when they were running around stripped off for the bath they could sit on it or not and we got the occasional wee .
Yours is a bit older so should understand more what you want from her.
I would get 3 potties , 1 for upstairs, 1 for downstairs and 1 for the car. Put a towel under the house potties to catch any 'i nearly made it' dribbles .
Let her run around with the bottoms off and if she has an accident put the potty under even if you only catch part of it , then show her what is in the potty with lots of excited 'what a clevergirl' and lots of praise . If she has an accident say that it doesn't matter and we can try again later.
If she hasn't got your full attention - such as when you are cooking - put some pull-ups on to prevent accidents as you don't want her getting disheartened.
Don't get stressed about it as you don't want to make an issue of it .
For my last one i bought a collapsible potty that you put disposable liners in , it was a godsend for when we were out and she suddenly HAD to go.

And remember - she won't be wearing nappies when she's 16 so don't worry about it !!!!

mine were potty traine at two and my youngest two and six months, i used pull up pants,reward chart and straight on the loo,make it fun, i used to pretend to jump when she peed and pooped in the loo,and she loved it,dont rush or shout as it can make them worse,all good fun being a parent lol
jo

My tip would be patience, patience and more. Dont be in a hurry it will work out just fine.

Ditto with comments I made my life a misery with baby 1 trying far to early to train him. Boy 2 took his own nappy off sat on the loo and was dry in a week. Katie had a bladder problem that did not become aparant until a lot later she would stil get wet at 5. The row's Mum (grandmother) had with her school, when Katie had to go it was immediate. Her Mum left her age 2 years so I bought her up with my brother and my Mum, she was still carrying spare knickers at secondary school!

Bear with it, try leaving nappies on a little longer, ignor the routine and let her dictate the pace, its not asy but three is still very young for some. Its old for others but like us and dogs they are individuals.

Thanks everyone!  Once I decided yesterday that confinement to the kitchen just wasn't working (you don't know these things till you try them) and we ventured into the rest of the house, things seemed to go a little better.  We had a more successful afternoon with a couple of accidents later on when my mum and dad came round, but she did really well and I was so proud of her.  As you've all said, it's early days and I'm probably stressing unnecessarily.`

Don't forget the good old sticker chart.  She's old enough to understand stickers on a piece of paper.  So every time she does something on the potty she gets a sticker.  Try to relax a little bit yourself, easier said than done I know.  Never thought I'd get my son potty trained, but he did it himself a couple of weeks before his 3rd birthday.  DD was a lot younger, & took longer because I was more uptight about it all.

Good luck & remember, they all get there in the end, just like learning to swim, ride a bike, read etc.  They're just all very different :-)

Sorry, can't resist :-D

Have you tried all the usual things?  Treat her like a baby puppy, so take her out after waking, sniffing, eating, exercise etc. and at least every hour.  and if she gets excited, then she'll need to wee :-D  Reward immediately for going on command LOL

If she makes a mistake, don't tell her off, just mop it up with bio washing powder so it doesn't leave a smell :)

OK you can call me anything you like, but my guess is that it'll work ;)   just be patient, all children are different, so comparisons are useless at this age ;)

You aren't actually far wrong, they both react to patience and kindness. Only the human one has a little more savy and can be a lot more stubborn. One day it all clicks, they dont enjoy being wet and you will wounder what it was all about.

They seldom go to school wet!!

I agree with Dill..... One thing i did find helpful a slightly older sibling or child willing to show them ;-)

Hey that worked  with puppies too ;-)

We are now more or less using the treat and reward method (but I think puppies are easier!).  We use stickers for staying in bed and they were previously used at nursery to stop her biting and they're not working for us in this instance unfortunately.  At nursery she sees other children using the toilet, but at home we don't have any other children.

Re biting Im too old my Mum stopped me biting my brother by biting me!! I stopped my son biting my niece doing the same thing - we'd be in clink now but it stopped it both times dead!! Ah the days of not knowing how bad I was at parenting.

Whistler I'm ashamed to say I tried that to - I'd have tried anything, she was biting for about 18 months and it was awful.  Ok, I didn't do it that hard and it started to tail off when someone at nursery gave her a real nasty bite on her face.  What seemed to really knock it on the head was reading her the 'Teeth are not for Biting' book at bedtime and it's also taught her that you don't bite someone if they bite you.