if you can't spoil your kids -well whats the point

I always thought it was - if you can't be mean to your kids, what's the point :D :D :D

Fiona
x x x

Aaah but you have to spoil them to get the true satisfaction of being really mean :D :D
Liz

So that's where I've been going wrong :D

Fiona
x x x

Listen Mine have grown up and left and still cost us a fortune bailing them out,my 20 year old can never pay his phone bills,train fares and yet delights in telling me how great it is to be independant :( the next oldest used to come in when I'd been shopping and take my buy one get one free bargains,he called then buy one get one for your son !!! I want to know when I can be independant of them
I spent my younger years pleasing my Mother and the latter pleasing my Children,I have visions of me sitting in a rocking chair in an old folks home being asked to borrow a fiver :)
PS> My Youngest has just come back home for a bit :rolleyes:

LOL@Mattie ..I know how you feel ;) MY oldest boys were like that ..my daughter bless her has never asked for ANYTHING since she left home (well not money etc - only the occasional babysit) but the boys!! As soon as they were in trouble (girlfriend kicked them out ..no money ...hungry etc etc ) they were around to MY house!! Using the phone , raiding the larder etc. We solved that by moving from London back to Lincolnshire :D :D Thats too far for even them :) ...this was when they were 25 and 20 and had BOTH left home by the way

Dont get me wrong ......love them both dearly ..but boys especially WILL take you to the limits given half a chance ;)

Melody

Posted this to Lucy earlier Pam, but for some reason it vanished. So for the delight and edification of your daughter I'm posting it again.

Dear daughter of poor Pam,

When decimalisation and the half crown coin vanished I was older than you. My pocket money dropped from 2/6 (12½ pence) to two bob (10 pence) per week. Out of that I had to pay my bus fares to school (2 old pence each way) so not surprisingly I usually walked the 3 miles - again each way. And the 10p was docked if I didn't do my jobs around the house and with the dogs. What I had left I spent on books. To give you an idea of what money bought then, most paperbacks cost 2/6 and a bar of Cadbury's chocolate was 6d.

My parents didn't have a car so I walked where I wanted to go as well. School books and uniforms were a big outlay for my parents at the time, so I didn't get a lot of other clothes and there was no question of me taking myself off shopping or getting drama lessons etc.

I wasn't at all deprived, because my if my parents were strict they also loved me a great deal. In fact I think not having much money as a teenager and having to work for my pocket money was actually very good for me.

So appreciate your mum, and don't look at her as a walking source of money and goodies.

All the best, Sharon

I think we live in a different world than when we were raised. That is for those of you who are close to my age, 48. Our children today want to be independent, but they don't want to work for that independence. I can relate to soooo many of you. You think when they leave home, your loaning money days are over, it just begins, but gets to be LARGER amounts!!! I love my children too, dearly, but I wish they could just have a little taste of the way I was raised. I bet they wouldn't survive an hour of it. Parenting has got to be the hardest job in the world. No books can prepare you for ALL that happens in parenting!!! Shirl :D

Heres a nifty trick for all the parents out there!

My mum, when i was about 14, got totally sick of me going off different foods, etc, and refused to take me with her shopping. So, she worked out what she spent on me, her and my sister, on groceries each week, and split it into three, roughly. That, with about £3 extra had to do me each week, AND, if i hadnt finished my shopping in time to be picked up at the agreed time, i would have to get teh bus!
It taught me a h*ll of a lot about buying my own food, cooking etc.
You only buy an entire weeks moneys worth of chocolate ONCE!!!!!! (must add, with the diets of most teenage boys, i wouldnt suggest you do this for them! they CAN survive on mars bars and mcdonalds alone!)
Taught me the value of money though!
You do have to be VERY firm, at teh end of week one, when child has a/spent all teh dosh adn b/ got no food left!!!!

Emma (hard done by child!)

ps, must admit, i moved out at 17! also, one time, at 14, i saved all my money, bought two rabbits, and ended up with 37, so it can backfire!!!!

LOL and thanks everyone.. Sharon your post has been printed off and she will get this first thing tonight..I was not on lastnight as I was doing a LIZ a taxi around the town for her and her pals.

We are off to the Blue concert tonight as a surprise for her , bought the tickets months ago so should be good. The she has her Xmas party at school on Thursday and a Youth CLub Xmas party on friday.. Oh the joys eh???

Never mind I am taking 2 holiday weeks off this year and leaving my mobile in my desk drawer on the way out the door.

catch you all later..thanks

Pam

Let me know how she reacts Pam. :) My bet is on something like <switch on whiney voice> "Oh Muuuummm! That was in Dark Ages! What's it got to do with meeee?" :D

Hope you both enjoy the concert.

Hi Sharon,

Jade my daughter has read your post. ( Just in from Blue concert) She says she knows she is ungrateful sometimes, she stresses the "sometimes" but she says most of the time she is grateful.

I know Sharon my parents were very strict to us, we didn't want for much but boy was my dad strict and I think we try to do things differently. I am going to start putting my foot down though.

BFN PS Blue was quite good.. 50 pictures as sneaked my Digi in and it has 60 sec video recording so was playing with this the whole time.

Pam

My son is 11. He wants a playstation 2 & some games for xmas.
His Nintendo 64 he got for his 6th birthday, August '97.
His pocket money used to be weekly, he asked recently to have it
calender monthly. He gets £ 12.00 , but I pay for extra's like
Judo lessons (£2.00 per week), swimming lessons (since he was 4).

His school was 80 % burnt down on Sat. 30th Nov (arson)- conseqently he's had no school since ! They hope to get years 7,8 & 9 back next week for the last week of term, but only till lunchtimes - 1 p.m.
Year 11 returned this Monday & year 10 went back this Tuesday.
Thornden School, Hampshire.

Pam

Now I am thinking maybe I am a really cruel mummy, mine get NO pocket money one is 7 end of Dec other is 5, 7 year old has Karate everyweek though, and swimming for both, is it normal for kids so young to get pocket money?

My feelings were until they asked, because they needed money for something, I wouldn't give it, what are your thoughts? Anyone?? :)

Cruel Mummy Lynsey

Well mine get £4 a week (and £20 a month into a savings account) as that is all I can afford. I think as in later life kids will just have to accept that some people have more and others less money, just like their parents.

My daughter (just 15) raided her savings account that I have had running for years with at first £5 a month. She withdrew nearly £500 and spent it, while truanting with her friends ober a period of time.

So she now only gets £2 of the in hand Pocket mone4y, and her other £2 is being used to pay back what she has spent, It will take about 4 years at £2 a week, but she will have to learn, if you borrow money, or spend above your means you will have to go short to make it up.

Mine are about the same age as your Lynsey - the oldest was 7 in April last year, and the youngest was 5 in June, and we've just started giving them pocket money (something for Dad to do with them while Mum was dog training <G>) They get £1 a week each and go to the shops with Dad, usually they buy some sweeties and keep the change (which usually ends up down the back of the settee :-( I think Father Crhistmas will be getting them a money box as well as Beyblades this year!)

Fran

well I had been thinking that after Christmas when the new puppy arrives and they are taking on more 'jobs' I would give them pocket money as payment..but they have been so rude to me today that I think they can wait until they are 21! ;)

Lynsey

I wasn't given pocket money until I turned 11 - and then I got a pound a week if I kept my room tidy :( My brother had to wash the car to get his pound, and I think my sister was the same as me, I used to complain cos her room was smaller than mine and therefore I thought she had an easier job! When I started secondary school I was given money at the beginning of the week to buy a drink, again a pound a week. Then I started a paper round and I was rich!! £3.50 a week.........

:D Wasn't all that long ago either ;)