Hi , have had some really good advice, help and support on here over the years so was hoping for a bit more please :)

My boss ( and good friend ) lost his father , and 32 yr old horse within 2 months of each other and as can be expected was completely heartbroken. For his birthday in April (2 months after his losses) I bought him a journal and personalised it a bit with some special photos , quotations and some of his dads favourite flowers , dried! But I got cold feet and didn't give it to him in the end as I thought maybe it wasn't suitable.

Anyway , last night I was with him at the kennels while one of our regulars passed away. It was so so sad - he cried , I cried. He was talking about still being low about his dad and I thought that maybe the tears were for him too and not just the dog. I really want to give him the journal now - but don't know whether it's an appropriate thing to give and am umming and ahhing about it!

Would you give it , or not? Also if you were in his shoes would you appreciate it or would it make you feel worse at this sad time?

Many thanks , and sorry it's a long question!!

What ever you decide to do it's a lovely thought{{{hugs}}} If it was me I'd really like it.

Can anything really make him feel any worse? He's been at his lowest eb and still very emotional. I feel at times like this for us to know that other people care however they do it makes us feel like carrying on. What you have done is lovely, of course you should give it to him, he will appreciate your time and effort and he will no doubt treasure it very much. :-)

I would give it to him. Think in years to come how much he will treasure it and your friendship, that you were so thoughtful at this time and were there for him.

I totally agree with Carrington, he must be feeling lonely having lost those closest to him. To know that someone cared enough to put thought into making a keepsake for him would surely be a good thing./ There will probably be tears, but these can be helpful.

I would be really touched if someone did that for me.
Well done for caring.

Thank you everyone , your replies have really reassured me. And thank you all for being so lovely :)

He has been there for me and helped me a lot over the past few years so I wanted to give him something that extra bit special.

I think he will be touched that someone cares - I know I would be.

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone for saying give the gift. I left it with him (thought it may be a bit emotional to open it with me there) and he sent me the following text , so you were right - it was nice for him to know I cared and i'm pleased I gave it too him.

"Dear Kate. Thank you so much for the beautiful present , i will treasure it for ever and ever.You are so thoughful. I know my dad will be smiling right now. I will write my thoughts own and hold on to all those special times he gave us. Mum and me had a cry as I had to show her. Thank you so much. Love .... xxx"

Brillent  he regonised it from your heart to his. When my brother died many years ago and friend said to me " I never knew your brother but Im really sorry you are hurting". That was 30 years ago, i still remember his thoughtfulness as he will remember yours.

What a beautiful and thoughtful present. I know when I lost my husband my children and I were very touched by all the messages and thoughts people sent us. As time goes by and people stop talking about him it is a great comfort to be able to look at all the cards, letters and messages we received at the time and know how special he was to so many people.

My son made me a DVD of photos of my husband and our famiyl from childhood right through his life, with snippets of videos we had taken depicting the life we had shared and it is one of my most treasured possessions.

Your friend is very lucky to have such a wonderful friend as yourself :-)