I am not coping with this at all I have rang work and broke down on the phone,I just couldnt possibly cope with work at the moment ,looks like I will have to get a different solicitor that deals in legal aid,as I cannot afford present one its £150 an hour,

Sheila

Oh bless I did wonder how this would pan out. I took the plunge a long long time ago with two kids under 4 and survived. i took in students to help pay the mortgage and a job from home.
I remarried unexpectedly really, he surprised me with 2 hours notice, 20 years on we are still together and happy.

The future is unknown, but the presant should not be sad or you should not live with someine you are unhappy with. A fantastic future maybe out there for you and your dogs just be positive, plan well and try to make money where you can.

And there is always someone on here that will listen!! Oh go talk to your mortgage lender and take a mortgage"holiday" you may be able to change to an interest only or extend the payment years so you can manage on one wage, but I found that letting out a room via Uni was a good earner it feed us - be positive I had two kids and a mortgage and made enough to  live, eat and keep the house, the rest came along later.

Hugs

Viv X

One bad point is if, you retain the house a charge gets put against it for the legal aid payment to be paid with interest when you sell. Go see CAB to find a cheaper solicitor, you need to register your seperation, do you need to divorce yet ? make him pay?

Take a step back before you rush into a legal position. You will also have to do mediation (I think) unless you go for 2 years seperation.

Hi Sheila,Of course you feel hurt,you must have loved the guy when you married him,and now the relationship has turned sour,you will feel bereaved, and as you worked such long hours,you will still be run down and tired,and add to that the stress of separation and divorce,no wonder you are in tears.Your dogs will pick up on your sadness and stay close to comfort you.Focus on them,and take them for long walks to lift your spirits.It may sound silly,but fresh air and exercise really is good therapy,much better than pills to help you cope with the stress,and  will help you eat and sleep better as well.Life is full of ups and downs,and you should be due a few ups by now!

Well got alot done  the last couple of days,new solicitor sorted dropped hours at work so may be able get legal aid,estate agent comming value house also I have got aplication for housing we live in a nice area and not far there is a little estate with flats downstairs of course as they have a garden,I have just spoken to the council they said they often come up in my area.

Sheila

Well done thats positive and you feel better?

Yes I do feel better I am thinking ahead,I may be able to stay in the house but just keeping options open,thanks again Whistler hope your feeling better?

Sheila

I am sure you can work something out with the building society, even if it means extending the period of the mortgage to reduce the monthly payments you an always increase payments later to pay off earlier (assuming it allows this) when finances better.

That's great news, just keep taking small steps and don't try to wait for all the answers to drop into place before making a decision...the harder we look for answers the less likely we are to recognise them! Rhona is so right about walking--that's how I got into doing distance walking :-), seeing some really beautiful and empty bits of the border landscape and enjoying the solitude. It's a good time of year to get out--loads of lapwings around here.

Hi Judy,yes been out walking,I do walk everyday with the blacks,we live nr a lake so its nice and peaceful,but oh my head is banging

Sheilaxx

Good for you, getting out and about--just to cheer you up :-), that banging head could be hypertension, so don't think twice about going to your doctor for help if your usual favourite headache remedy doesn't budge it. We're all rooting for you here!

J xx

Um yes frustrated Im a NOW person "wait and see" means I keep trying to push and nothing is happening its still dead!

Just checking in that you are ok?