I don't know how many of you were following my other thread in the health section, its about my dog, Ben, who became extrememly ill very suddenly and unexpectedly.

He's been to the vet about many times now, each time they've said something different (stroke, anurism, vestibular, kennel cough, arthritis and trauma...it cant be all of them!) now they've given him steroids as the usual quick fix without a real diagnosis.

Anyway, he's in really bad shape and I fear the end is near and inevitable. He can't move or walk, his breathing is extremely heavy and his heart rate is through the roof.

I know he hasn't got long and I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that this may be the last week I spend with him. I didn't want to put this in the rainbow bridge section because he's not actually dead yet, and I won't mention the day incase I jinx something (i'm really superstitious, i apologize...)

I need to know what to expect on the day, the best methods for coping with the greif and how to get used to being in a home where he's no longer there :(

(Getting another pet is not an option at all, lack of space, time, money etc)

I Know its stupid to be emotionally dependant on an animal, but thats what I have become, he's been my constant friend the last 9 years, through all the family rows, divorces, breakups, the hard times at school, deaths, losing freinds, losing our home...everything, he's always been there waiting, wagging his tail when I had no one else.

I fear I wont be able to handle that he won't be there anymore waiting for me when I get home from a rough day, or need a cuddle because I'm having particularly bad session of depression....because in reality, I have no one esle to go to when I get lonely, which is why i depend on the dog so much.

How can I cope when my last true friend in the world leaves me forever?

Laura

:( reading this through tear filled eyes.

Its an awful thing to happen to anyone, the only advice I can give is take one day at a time. When my rescue x breed died I was devestated, I kept going to the door to let him in, even thought I could hear him walk over the wobbly slab sometimes.

It does get better, allow the grief to consume you for a day or so then learn to control it. Always remember what a great friend and companion he was to you, and be happy in the knowledge he was in pain up to the end but it cant hurt him anymore.

Theres nothing much else I can say except enjoy the last few days with him.

Sending cyber (((hugs))) to you and Ben

xxxxxx

Just remember he will still be with you, but you won't be able to see him. Your love will keep him by your side and I am sure there will be moments when you will sense him being there, or you will hear him bark or feel him touch you. Don't think you are imagining it, just accept it is him telling you that he is fine and still there with you. I know without a doubt that when I walk my dogs I also have all of my other Rainbow dogs with me as well, and there are times when my other dogs see the ones that have passed on, they sit up and wag their tails staring into an empty space. He will be in a lovely place, well and healthy again, it is you who will be in the dark place with grief.
Your love and memories will never fade but the grief will, at that stage just remember there are many dogs out there that desperately need someone like you to love and care from them, they could never take his place in your heart but could create their own little space in your life.

My heart breaks for you

We had to let our GD go yest, she could not stand and weight bear on her back legs, but still very bright, and had a huge appetite, she also was quite incontinent, both faeces and urine, and go rather upset with this, also us having to clean her.
We did it for her not us, I would have loved her to passed in her sleep, but we can decide when to end there pain, and leave them with some dignity.
We miss her so much.

right now i reckon the best thing you can do is find another vet and quick....yours sounds like they dont have a clue :(

I think in some ways being prepared for the end is somewhat helpful for us to deal with the situation..

In some ways, I dont mean this to sound uncaring or callous..but you are lucky to have the time to think about how you would  have it done, as invariably, we will often say at a later date...I wish I did that, or it this way.

First things first,  I am sorry for you coming loss, its never easy,  but if I was you, I would first  decide how and where you want him to be PTS, speak to your vet , ask them if they will come to your home (if that is how you wish it to be done)    ,   you may wish to take him to the surgery...  then you need to decide what is to be done with him...  your choices are, have him cremated with the masses and not have him back, or have a private cremation..this is important you make sure the crem you use offers this service...

You can them  do one of two things,  take him to the crematorium yourself, (sometimes they will collect from your home) an option  if you have it done at home,    or you can leave him at the vets for them to  deal with.

But if you make that choice, (leaving him at the vets)  ask them what day the crem  does their pick up...   (sorry  this sounds all so clinical, but it may help you decide on whats best for you..)  if your dog is PTS on  Monday, and they dont pick up till Thursday, then he will be at the vets for those days in between, this may not be a problem for you , but if its something if you find out later, it may upset you  ,(happened to me)  so best to get ALL your ducks in a line  first!!

Now is the time to sit down and set it out, speak to your vet, ask them to recommend a crem,  (usually the one they use) or look  in the phone book and speak to one direct... ask them about the service they give and  how much notice you will need to contact them, or if you can  turn up at any time with your boy..(our local one offers this service)  

Again, so sorry for the decision you are about to make, 

How can I cope when my last true friend in the world leaves me forever?

Firstly, with as much dignity as you can for your dogs sake. Think only of him for now not your own saddness, (hard but a must) make his last days, weeks, happy with a smiling owner so that you have a happy time to think back on and he does not begin to fret and worry about you, our dogs can pick up our heartbeats and stress levels try really hard to just allow him to feel content and enjoy your time together.

Afterwards, then you can cry for a week, no doubt you will it's a horrible time, there is no quick fix, it hurts, when our dogs pass over it leaves a massive hole, we never forget them, it helps to think of them no longer in pain and to think of the happy life you gave your dog and how much of a true friend he was, but the best advice is to just cry, he will always be in your memory and heart, that can never be taken away.

If you are suffering really badly then there are pet bereavement phone lines to help, people who understand and have been through it, they are very nice people. You will come through the other side, look at us most of us have been through loosing our best and dearest friend here. Time heals......

It may well be worth Sam's advice in having a second opinion though, there is no harm in doing so, he sounds in a bad way though. I couldn't bare my dog to suffer.

Thinking of you. xx

Laura, I have only just noticed this thread and your other threads, your boy seems to be going through an awful lot and my advice for you would be to get a second opinon and quickly.  Your vet seems to have been treating him with so many different drugs without knowing what he is treating as you don't have a diagnosis.

If you think there is still a chance he will recover, then you need to ask to be referred today.

Only you will know when it's the right time to say goodbye to your boy, it is the hardest decision you will have to make for him, but also the kindest.

As I said, if you think there is a chance he will recover then do insist on that second opinion - sooner rather than later.

Good luck with your boy and sending you positive thoughts x 

The mantra of several of us on Champdogs is a heartbreaking one - better a day too early than a day too late.

Our dogs deserve of us far more than some of us can give - they give us total devotion and trust.   We must not break that trust with them - and the last, most loving thing that we can give them is a peaceful and painless end.  Painless for them - not for us - it breaks our hearts - but as the privileged owners of wonderful dogs, we have that responsibility.

Not an easy task for you - but it sounds as if it is one that is coming very soon.

Laura you will know when the time has come for you to give your dog that final kindness and let him go. As hard as it is to do it is something that we owe to all our pets - the strength to recognise that their quality of life is not there and that the existence they have is not one we would wish upon our pet however much we fear the future without them.

It is really hard when they have been there through difficult times with you but you have to look back at how he was then and compare that with how he is now and then tell yourself that the greatest way to acknowledge how much he means to you is to give him the peace and dignity that he deserves. It will be hard to let him go when it's his time to do so but you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that when he really needs you to do the right thing you were able to put his care and welfare above your own needs and pay him the final honour of being there for him in his hour of need.

Am thinking of you both and wishing you courage and peace.

Hi Laura

I have just read your thread and my heart goes out to you. You obviously care about Ben and are in such an awful position. From what you have said you won't be able to afford a referral, but what about a second opinion at another vet practice. I know it's a long shot, but do you have a local dog training club. The reason I ask is that a couple of years ago we were told of a lady in a similar position to you, and after canvassing our club members, we paid for the dog to be seen at our veterinary practice. They in turn were brilliant and offered us a free consultation, with dog club agreeing to pay for medication. Unfortunatley there was nothing could be done for the dog, but it did mean that his suffering came to an end.

Good luck and my thoughts are with you.

Hey guys

Thanks for all your support and responses, they really have helped :)

We would send him for a second opinion but its just the cost, its impossible. He's gone downhill so fast that I don't think much more can be done, he's lost so much weight and now he's started getting sores on his legs. On thursday I'm going to push for a blood test at least, I wanna know whats wrong with him before we put him to sleep. He's been to the vet about 5 times now and he hasnt had a single test :( now I fear its too late.

I know I should let him go, and I will, but I'm just worried about the stress its going to cause after, especially with my exams, I dont know how im going to perform with THAT looming over me

The best I can do now is try and remember the good times when he was healthy and bouncey, and know that the way he is now just isnt the life he's used to

Heres a video of him last year, before we moved. The rabbit in that video is also dead now...died of heatstroke after we gave him to a friend when we had to move into the flat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8zH_6V78WA

Oh im so lost with all this....

edit: oh and we cant afford a private cremation either :(

What a lovely video clip, LauraMay, he's a beautiful boy--so gentle playing with the rabbit.

I don't think there is much I can say, other than to look for the courage to let him go. You need to decide how important tests are to you in the light of Ben's suffering--but you deserve a straightforward response from your vet.

Don't worry now about the things to come. You must take each day as you find it and just remember that when we really need it we can find extraordinary strength to carry us through the essentials. What we can't do is squander precious reserves on things that are less important,or the things we can't change. Hope tomorrow brings you some respite--big hugs for you and Ben.

The video was lovely , he was clearly having fun. And I think being so gentle with the rabbit.
Years ago I had a GS , and when I went out one Saturday she pulled the front off my rabbit hutch and killed my poor rabbit , my guinea pig Shaun luckily escaped into next doors garden.
I know it's hard that you have a big big desicion to make very soon , I also have it coming soon ( hopefully not too soon ) because my old shar pei boy is failing , all I'm thinking of at the minute is that I have given him a great home , he's been well fed , kept cosy and warm and in return he's loved me to pieces , he's my shadow , I really don't know how I'll cope either but I'm gonna deal with it when the time comes.
I hope the vets can give you some answers next time.
xx

What a beauty, he's a credit  to you.

My brothers oldest GSD was fab with our rabbits too, there was one favourite one that really liked him and he used to lick him so much you could have rung him out afterwards. :-D

It' so very sad, he's a beautiful boy, what a lovely memory captured on film.

rather than waste money on a bloodtest with same vet, who frankly doesnt seem able to diagnose anything so why trust himto get a blood tst right.....why not just go to another vet and explain the situation and see what they can come up with?

> He's gone downhill so fast that I don't think much more can be done, he's lost so much weight and now he's started getting sores on his legs.

> I know I should let him go, and I will, but I'm just worried about the stress its going to cause after, especially with my exams, I dont know how im going to perform with THAT looming over me
>

I really think that the time has come to love him enough to do the right thing.  Better a week too early than a day too late.  For the time being, you should forget about your own pain, and think about his.  Love him enough to take it away for him.  JMHO

What a beautiful boy and so gentle with the rabbit :) 
My heart goes out to you Laura, I think everyone on this forum knows exactly what you are going through at this time :(
The only thing I can say to you if you are going to have a blood test is have this done at another vets as Sam pointed out, it is pointless putting your boy through something at the vet you have no faith in.  The decision has to be yours in the end and you just need to stay strong for your boy, make him as comfortable and keep him as happy as you possibly can.

If and when you do make the decision to let your boy go, do so knowing you have given him the best of everything, love, care, companionship over the years and the last and most difficult thing you can do for your boy (as we all can for our dogs) is to let him go with as little suffering as possible.  I'm not sure if you have a garden now, but can you bury your dog in the garden rather than have him cremated, this might be a better option for you?

If you are going to have a blood test done then do it as soon as you can - sending positive thoughts to you and your gorgeous boy xx

> rather than waste money on a bloodtest with same vet, who frankly doesnt seem able to diagnose anything so why trust himto get a blood tst right.....why not just go to another vet and explain the situation and see what they can come up with?

Sam, I think Laura's family have recently had an unexpected change in circumstances and he is registered with the PDSA.

Laura, what a gorgeous, gentle, super boy, that video is fantastic, it brought tears to my eyes. I do feel for you, but I am sure you will put your boy who has given you so much first.

Try not to panic about the uni exams and coping - there are doctors notes (and grief from losing an important member of the family - and I mean Ben - if that happens, as well as what you have had to deal with recently sounds like a valid reason to me) and resits. Concentrate on your beloved boy and what is right for him.

Hugs.

Hello Laura....is there any news on Ben ?

Ben lost the fight :(
http://www.champdogsforum.co.uk/board/topic/123050.html#fp
Lea xx

Thank you, how sad.