I have got myself into a situation that I am not sure how to handle.
I started viewings for my pups when they were 4 weeks old, and carefully vetted the potential new owners. I chose the people who I thought would offer my two pups the best homes.
One pup is going to great home and I have no worries concerning him. They have visited him every week and cant wait to get him.
The other pups new owner is now starting to worry me. She chose her puppy first and was quite insistant that she put a deposit down, so she knew he was definitley hers. I explained that he would change alot from 4 weeks to 8 weeks and as she lived over 3 hours away I would send her weekly email updates with pictures. We also spoke on the telephone a couple of times each week and she always seemed enthusiastic. The pup is 8 weeks old on Friday. I sent her some pictures over the weekend and since then she has rang numerous times. She always starts with "I'm not saying I don't want him but" and then things like he has changed alot from when she first saw him, he is paler than she thought he would be, his legs seem too long etc. On one picture I sent her you could see the bitch that she knows I am keeping in the background and she has hinted that she would rather have her. I think she wants me say she can have her instead.
To be honest this sudden change in her attitude has really put me off her and I don't want her to have any pup. I will just be worrying about them all the time, now I have seen how fickle she is. I realise that I should never have taken the deposit from her, but at the time she told me a sob story about missing out on another pup and I fell for it.
I didn't give her any puppy agreement or receipt for the deposit, so would I just be able to return her deposit and that be the end of it.

I would send her the money back with a note saying that as she doesn't seem 100% certain/happy with her earlier choice you think it best she not have the puppy and wait for one she is really certain about.

hmmmm...well, my experience is from the buyer's side, so see if this helps. In 2007 after a lot of research I went to visit a breeder whose bitch just happened to have been mated recently, and I was over the moon to hear she would put me on her waiting list. I went back for a visit when the pups were about 4-5 weeks old. There were 7 pups, including 3 dogs, and at age there was nothing really to choose between them. I didn't want to take a bitch because I didn't want to breed or spay. We did 'choose' the dog we wanted, but we were also clear that the breeder would weigh up which dog was best placed in which home. I ought to say that working and showing were completely new to me and while I was very interested, I had precisely zero experience although I have shared most of my life with dogs. We went to pick up the puppy in the new year, a 5 hr drive from here, and the breeder told me she had had second thoughts and that the pup we had wanted had better show prospects (they were 13 weeks old by then)--would we consider taking the 'other' dog instead? She was perfectly prepared to refund a £500 deposit--but it never came to that at all. We were delighted to bring Diesel home instead and I have never once doubted that we each got the best dog: her pup has gone on to JW, mine later developed a retracted testicle and couldn't be shown--he hated it anyway. My life that year changed so much that I could never have done the other dog justice. We have three dogs now but Diesel is the love of my life--he is a very clever, very loving dog and my life has been like Christmas every day since he arrived.

Things happen for a reason. If this woman is already causing you concern, in your place I would give her back the deposit and walk away with a clear conscience. Taking her deposit is no less than anyone would have done, and I have a funny feeling I didn't get a receipt when I left a deposit either (I think the breeder was surprised by the amount I offered, and I certainly never thought any more about it although I am far from 'made of money). Go with your gut instinct--tell her you have decided to run them both on, give her the money back and wish her well with her search!

I agree with Brainless.  I have, in the past, been happy with a potential buyer, via emails and phone chats.  I admit that I hadn't taken a deposit, as they hadn't come to view pups.

Once they did come, I wasn't at all happy with them.  It was hard, as they had driven 3 hours to see the litter.  But I had to bite the bullet and say that I wasn't happy about them having a pup from me. 

At the end of the day it is our prerogative to turn down potential puppy owners.  As Brainless has advised - just return the deposit.  You wouldn't want them to have a pup that they weren't sure about.

Yes I also agree with Brainless, just send them a polite letter returning their deposit, thank them for their interest, but explain that as they're not 100% happy with the pup, then you wouldn't be happy letting the pup go to them, wish them good luck in their search.

If there is ever any doubt in your mind then the answer is always "No" - as the others say return the money but nicely, a new owner will soon come along - a puppy is for life, any doubts in their minds at this age is a bad omen for the pup.

I also wouldn't wish a pup to go to someone who appeared to be disappointed, and if she really does feel that way then I think you should speak to her, she sounds approachable, she phones you often and she is being honest about her feelings so be honest about yours :-) in that you are worried your pup is going to someone who is not 100% happy and if she feels she would not have chosen this pup you would rather it go to someone who is delighted by it and give her a refund.

Can I just flip it a little though, this woman isn't doing what most of us do whilst viewing and looking at photo's of our pups, most of us may well think the same things just not say it out loud, does it mean we won't be delighted with the pup once we come to collect it though? Most of us may have little niggling doubts that we have chosen the right pup. Whilst looking at pups my own or someone elses I'm extremely vocal in my head about what I'm looking at and checking, critical of some which don't hit the spot for me and debating about others, how often is the pick of the litter kept by breeder or a pup already gone the one we may have originally chosen, colour, size wise.  Not many people get to have first choice. We think these things, not say them.

This woman is, which is very silly to do so infront of the breeder of course it will send any breeder into a panic, not to mention photo's often are misleading to colour and size. But seeing a pup again in the flesh feels different, most of us just go all ga ga again and all doubts if there suddenly disappear.

Give her the chance, phone her and speak to her, if she is just being overly vocal it may actually not mean she has changed her mind, just voicing what many of us think when we know what we want.

You won't know until you speak to her. ;-)

If there is ever any doubt in your mind then the answer is always "No
I agree wholeheartedly with the above.

I agree with brainless too. Having refused people before myself. You have to go with your gut feeling or you will worry about that pup forever.

I too would send her a polite letter, if your gut instinct is not right dont let her have the puppy.
We had it once with a litter, there were 3 in the litter, 2 males and 1 female, 1 male had a very black face the other had a pale face, the lady wanted the pale faced male and took photos of him at 4 weeks old, she too lived hours away, but she came again at 7 weeks when the pups had been microchipped, spoke with her on numerous occasions before picking him up, when she came to collect him at 8 weeks she was over the moon, (all pups were still with us at this time so she could see he was still the paler one) anyway when she got him home she rang to say we had given her the wrong puppy or in her words "we had swapped the pups" as she compared her photos to him and his face had gone a little darker, granted it had but i did say at 4 weeks old they change so much, she still accused us of swapping puppies, i asked her if she wernt happy to bring him back and she could have a refund, her words were "but i love him" oh and the pups were microchipped and she had the number of the chip, so how could i swap them? we wernt keeping anything from this particular litter so it wasnt as if we had made a mistake and thought "oh this pup has show potential we will swap them" other than this 1 all our puppy buyers are fantastic and lots are very good friends of ours now, even went to one of the couples wedding all day.
Do what you think is best, good luck x

Why dont you talk to her and say if she isnt happy you will happily refund her deposit and no hard feelings. Ask her to come see the pup again as photos can give the wrong impression sometimes. My pups breeder sent me photos of my pup and to be honest i wish she hadnt as she looked awful but it was the pics not the pup. if i had said to the breeder what i had said to my hubby about her i probably wouldnt of been allowed her.

To be honest to the min i saw her again when i collected her i fell so in love i couldnt care less what she looked like.

Also does she know what a developing pup looks like, my breed is very leggy and as pups and youngsters dont really look like the finished article

Are her worries anything you can reassure her about? When we picked Henry, I knew nothing about dogs, and had to be reassured that the fact he was much paler than his brother meant nothing, and we should look at the ear colour to see what a rich red he would become. :-)

I too would just return her deposit with a polite but firm letter.  If you ring her to ask for explainations she may well talk you into letting her have your puppy and if this does happen you will never have peace of mind and constantly worry about the pup.  Another much more suitable new home will come along & you will be so relieved you waited for the caring, loving home that all puppies/dogs need.

Thanks for all the replies.
I've just rang the lady up and had a chat. I sent her some more pictures last night, so that gave me a good starting point to the conversation. I asked if she'd got the pictures to which she replied very enthusiasticaly how gorgeous he is. I wasn't expecting that response after the weekends comments to be honest. I told her I was a little concerned that she might be having doubts as to wether this pup was the right one for her. I assured her that it wasn't a problem if she changed her mind as I would refund her deposit and then she could then take her time to choose a pup that she is 100% happy with. I also let her know that its important that I feel happy with the home the pup is going to aswell.
She reassured me she definitley does want him and was quite apologetic. I think she knew she was coming across as negative, but didn't realise her comments were giving me doubts about her. I think what was worrying me was everytime I reasured her about something, she would ring up again about something else. I guess what she thought were just questions, I was taking as criticisms.
I do feel a lot happier and reassured now since our chat but I will make a final decision when I next meet her. If I have any doubts then she won't be taking him.       

thats great....and the next time you meet you will know if shes right for him :) xx

I dare say when she meets the pup she will be overly, overly enthusiastic, people like this usually are. Once she comes and you see her body language, hopefully your fears will disappear. I know when people do this type of thing they put us off, but often the ones who are questioning and deliberating even in front of us when they really shouldn't, will always be the most honest and when they go into something they give it 100%. If her heart wasn't in it, she would tell you without a doubt. :-)

She'll probably end up being a terrific owner, fingers crossed all will be well, and no more stress, stress, stress. :-)

I have all this to come, my litter will be ready to be viewed from five weeks! I'd much rather be greedy and keep them all :-D