(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm.  This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!   

(5) Loud Sigh: This isn't actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.   (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.  DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying *&#@ YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

** Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

** Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true

LOL It is all very true!!!

Particularly No3.  When he says 'what wrong' and I answer 'nothing', its time for him to run for the hills because its usually something BIG. You would have thought men would have got the hang of this by now. :)

Love the 'Thanks' one! definitely sending that on to a certain someone!!! :-D

Brilliant! Thanks tricolours.

When we say "what's wrong" and you say "nothing" shame on us for believing you!! :-)

ROFL!!
Aaaah but the shame should really be in the fact that you can't seem to play us at your own game!
The evidence M'lud:

Scene 1: A rustling from the kitchen.I think "whats that @$&* dog doing now!?" only to find the 'man' of the house standing puce faced with arms behind back...
Me: what have you got there?
Him: Nothing!! (Clutching the last cadburys mini-roll, he knows I was saving for myself!)

Scene 2: We are in Harvey Nicks....and have been for the past (he would say year) I would say 10 minutes. I can't decide the Jimmy choo boots or the Karen Millen coat, I'm waxing lyrical about key winter pieces.... he mutters under his breath...
"&£@* don't care...only $£@* clothes... wish I was down the pub...@£$&*!!"
Me: what did you say???
Him: Nothing!!

Scene 3: We are in the Supermarket, Ive lost him!for the hundreth time in only 10 minutes. (I'm seriously considering buying some of those reins you get for wandering 2 year olds!!) Eventually I find him by the magazines... once again puce faced arms hidden behind his back....
Me: What you got there?
Him: Nothing!!!
And as I turn and walk away and he replaces the 'Nuts' magazine he was drooling over when he thinks Im now no longer looking... I wonder how has he not come to realise  we women have eyes in the back of our heads (for dogs,children and men!!)

So!
I would rather be mistress of the 'amber light' "nothing!"
than
Master of the 'guilty as puppy beside a pile of poo' "nothing!"
;-)

:-)
I have a problem with remembering the rules!!
Hence 12 blissful years of Bachelorhood, those were the day!