These classifieds were really put in the paper - a smile for your day:
 
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER  8 years old.  Hateful little bastard.  Bites!   

FREE PUPPIES ½ Cocker Spaniel, ½ sneaky neighbour's dog.   

FREE PUPPIES  Mother, A Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.  Father, Super Dog . . Able to leap tall fences in a single bound.   

FOUND DIRTY WHITE  DOG  Looks like a rat.  Been out a while.  Better be a big reward.   

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED  Also 1 gay bull for sale.
   
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!  Must sell washer and dryer £100.   

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE    Worn once by mistake.  Call Stephanie.   

And the best one:  
FOR   SALE  BY OWNER  Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.  Excellent  condition.  £200 or best offer.  No longer needed, Got married last  month.   Wife knows everything.

There's one that I actually saw many years ago and cut out from the paper:

"Parachute for sale. Once used, never opened, small stain."

About 25 years ago my OH found this ad in the classifieds

Message for Doris
Come home Doris.  I've got the tiles for the roof.   Kev

there was a phone number supplied.

I've always wondered what the story was :-D :-D

Love the parachute one!!

Hehehe

I think I recognise some of the ads - they aren't from the Framley Examiner (excellent spoof online paper) by any chance are they??

Claire

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER  8 years old.  Hateful little bastard.  Bites!   

I love that one! :-D :-D