My wife and i live overseas for 5 months of the year. We are away for a 3 month block and then half a year later away for 2 months.

We are both desperate for a Cocker Spaniel .

My mother  in laws dog recently died of old age and she is ready to get another .

She is prepared to look after "our" Cocker Spaniel while we are away so in effect we would be sharing. We are able to take the dog on long daily walks as we work from home when we are in the Uk.

Will this situation be to confusing for the Dog?

Any advice greatly appreciated.

It depends on if you are prepared to agree how the dog should be trained and fed as if you have conflicts in those areas this may cause confusion for the dog and also arguements between youselves and the MIL.

Why not ensure your dog has a passport and then you can take it with you?  After the rabies test of course.  Your MIL can look after it when you are away during the passport process, but after the 6 months are up you can take it with you.

> My wife and i live overseas for 5 months of the year

depending on where and when you could easily keep your dog with you :)

Thank you for such quick replies.

We live in the USA for 5 months of the year so its not possible to travel with a dog.

My MIL would not have a problem with following our training guidelines etc. She is also committed to exercising.

Would it be best to get a puppy or a more mature dog?

> We live in the USA for 5 months of the year so its not possible to travel with a dog.

pretty sure you can... plenty come back and forth for the shows etc...

>We live in the USA for 5 months of the year so its not possible to travel with a dog.

Mainland USA is one of the countries listed on the DEFRA site where the pet Passport is valid. Many of the dogs at Crufts had travelled from the US this way.

It will depend on the age and ability of your MIL I think.  A puppy may be too much for an older lady.  Not meaning to insult :-)

My mum's dog (female) is very happy to move round the houses (particularly when she was in season and had to be sent away from the dogs) and "claim" new territory or re-claim what she thinks is old territory ;-)  (she is a very dominant and assertive little dog).  A puppy will be more likely to get used to the routine whereas an older more mature dog may be looking to just settle down and enjoy one home.  So unfortunately I might not have made the decision any easier for you.

Really. I didnt know that. That would certainly be a fantastic option. I will research it.

We tend to fly twice a year as i said and we are away for 3 months  and later in the year for at least 2 months. Would a 9 hour transatlantic flight be traumatic for the dog? Its bad enough for me!!

a useful thread for you perhaps

http://www.champdogsforum.co.uk/cgi-bin/board/topic_show.pl?pid=996357;hl=dog%20passport#pid996357

My MIL is in her early 60s . She is active (sometimes to active  LOL!!) and can definately handle a dog i am sure.

Thats a great thread. thanks so much .

> My MIL is in her early 60s . She is active (sometimes to active  LOL!!) and can definately handle a dog i am sure.

bear in mind this dog will be with you for a while and you cannot predict health. this of course goes for people of any age but the older you are something will go wrong. does she have other people around to help to? to be honest to me it would end up being her dog if its with her the majority of the time.

no bother :)

Astarte, I completely take your point re the MIL.

We are definitely going to research taking the dog with us to Florida.I have already spoken to the export dept and checked out the APHIS web site. It looks doable i think . Fortunatly we fly into Tampa in the US and it seems to be a valid entry port for a Pet.

That's what I would worry too.

I lived with my granny and had a dog, Nana.  I showed her up until I was leaving for Uni.  I spent the first year in halls, travelling down to Glasgow every weekend.  Once I had bought my own flat in 2nd year my gran started with the emotional blackmail and it was decided that I would not take the dog with me.  Nana recognises me very much when I visit, always sits on my knee etc, never growls or barks at me, but she is definitely my gran's dog.  As much as I would like to take her away, it would cause far too much fuss from my grandparents and once they start they don't stop.

As you are flying into Tampa providing its the direct route i take it its with BA??

My thoughts on this as yes you can take your dogs over there, but going there and back twice a year, i to be honest wouldn't be happy putting my dog through that.
Its very different for shows dogs who do this maybe once a year or less than that. It to me can be very stressful for a dog and some dogs suffer from flying let alone a long flight.
Its something further to think about as well. Also the cost of the flight for the dog can be well in excess of your own personal seat on the flight.

Granitecitygirl. I totally understand and hear you loud and clear. I can see that this is a potential problem. We need to think of all of the alternatives and see what we can get to work and what will be in the dogs best interests rather than our own.

Yes we fly on the BA direct flight to Tampa.

I know how i would feel knowing my dog was on such a long flight and being aware that we need to do it all again 3 months later, it may become very traumatic .

We are even looking at our travel plans to see if we can go once a year for slightly longer, maybe that might be best.

Whilst it may be nice for you to take your dog with you, I'm sure there will be times when it isn't possible and your MIL will be called into service!

It would be interesting to get a breeders perspective on the amount of travel the dog may be expected to do, particularly from quite a young age.  I would also get as much feedback as possible on the impact that long air travel has on a dog.  I know it's done quite regularly for shows but I'm also pretty sure it requires a particular temperament.  Incidentally that's also another good reason to consult a respected breeder.

My MIL looks after our older mongrel whilst we are away on holiday and up to 3 weeks at a time.  She will also do the odd night here and there whilst we show the younger dog.  To be perfectly honest I also let her have him for a day or two if she is ever feeling down as she gets so much pleasure from him.  He is now 6 and he has been staying there since he was two although more regularly since we moved to live a bit closer when he was 4.  We got him as a rescue when he was 10 months old.

My MIL is a very sprightly 74 and walks him up to 3 miles a day, spread over 3 walks.  There is no one I'd trust more BUT he was very well trained before he went to her and she'd spent a lot of time with him in our home learning his routines.  He does gets 'grandma' type privileges at her home though - no matter what I say.  He sleeps on their bed, is allowed on the sofa, and gets bits of food I don't really approve of.  However, it's done him no harm and he seems to know that it's one set of rules here and another with Grandma.  They both get so much pleasure form his holidays that it seems unnecessary to be too strict with her!!

All that being said though, I would only now be allowing the youngster to stay with her and he is nearly 2.  I probably won't ever ask her to look after both dogs as it's a bit much in her tiny home BUT he is really only just old enough to allow it.  I need to know that his training is well enough established that he won't forget everything he knows whilst I am gone, or learn to take liberties with the MIL.  He's quite a chilled chap but even he can knock her knees out from under her if he runs through a door.  The silly puppy loony moments could be a challenge too in an ornament filled house.  It's less about the size of the dog though and more about the size of responsibility and the youngster by virtue of his age needs a greater level of attention.

My inclination would be to go for an older dog of 10 -14 months.  We've had some fabulous rescue dogs of this age and with good advice you'll get an affectionate dog that will bond easily with your extended family but be young enough to slot into your lifestyle and cope with the changes.

Good luck with your decision.  You might also want to think of fostering for a while to see how you get on...

> It would be interesting to get a breeders perspective on the amount of travel the dog may be expected to do, particularly from quite a young age.

I know one breeder of my boys is totally against dogs flying, so should i ever want to show him over in the States, i will have to do a lot of begging and pleading and i'm sure the answer will still be no. She would need to lift the endorsement.
I do know that some do not like it, others are happy providing someone is at the airport both ends of the flight.
I know of a breeder who sent her 12week old pup over to the States to its new owner for a show life out there.
It can be done but that was the once.
As a general rule for internal flights in the States that if your dog is a certain size or weight they can go on as hand luggage and sit on your lap..

> Astarte, I completely take your point re the MIL.
>

obviously you know her best and know whats likely and whats not, but recently in his early 50's my dads gone from super fit weight lifter to suffereing from diabetes, having problems with an old neck injury and then having a heart attack and bypass op. as a result we not have my mum and dads boy. its always best to consider each eventuality.

at least the threads thrown up a few more options for you to look into :)

did you have a breeder in mind? some may not like you going in and out of the US for whatever reason

Some fantastic advice. I am definitely concerned about the trauma of the transatlantic flight.

I didnt realise breeders would be as concerned as they clearly are, its certainly wonderful to know that they have the dogs best interest at heart even after sale.

I have thought about a rescue dog and maybe that might be the way to go. I also think we should consider fostering for a while.

I think in this case we need to see how we can adapt our lifestyle rather than get the dog to adapt to much.

Lots to ponder.

> I didnt realise breeders would be as concerned as they clearly are, its certainly wonderful to know that they have the dogs best interest at heart even after sale

good breeders are always interested in whats going on with their pups :)

if you decide to go ahead there will be plethy here with advice on health testing etc

My friends came over and flew the puppy back in the cabin when they bought one from me as neither me or they were happy about flying a dog in the hold. I know lots of dogs do fly perfectly well, but I wouldn't be happy personally, specially not doing it twice a year. I think if you and your MIL can agree on feeding / training etc it would be better for the dog to stay in the UK for most of the time, though the flying idea would be good if there was a year where she wasn't free to look after him.

Lucy when you say the dog being in the cabin, was this a transatlantic flight? Just i ask as i didn't think this would ever be the case on one of these flights, domestic in the States yes depending on size..

We bought 2 dogs back from the States 2 years ago, UK to USA is quite easy as dogs are charged as Excess baggage and I'm pretty sure the only dogs allowed in the cabin are service dogs. USA to UK is more complicated and very expensive for the flight. We have 2 large breed dogs and the one way flight for the two of them was about $4000 including handling fees in the UK.
The Queen Mary II has kennels and we worked out that it would be cheaper to come back this way in the cheapest cabins. Trouble is you have to book months in advance. The trip takes about 5 days from New York.
Neither dogs seemed too stressed, I think the scaredy greyhound was a bit loose when he was let out of the crate on arrival but was fine when we picked him up. The other dog was fine. I on the other hand I was a nervous wreck for weeks beforehand and was so happy to see them when we landed. There are companies that will handle everything for you.

I think you also need to take into consideration (not prying don't need to answer :-) ) whilst in the USA are you both working or just doing duel living, if your both there to work, then the dog isn't going to get much of your time, so is probably better off with your MIL. Raising a pup or having a rescue is going to make no difference whatsoever.

IMO a dog attaches itself to either it's owner/s and therefore is happy to go wherever they go, or attaches itself to a home and familiar surroundings with different family members coming and going to care for it.

Personally living with your MIL for months and then when returning moving home and living with yourself I feel is too unsettling the dog is not attached to an owner or a home not an option I personally would go for, I would give it a lifelong owner whichever of you that may be or have your MIL living in your home.

I think the transport option is to traumatic for us all especially as we know its going to be twice a year return and for at least 10 years. The QE2 option sounds fun though!!

Carrington: Points taken. It is exactly what has concerned us , as i said we really want the dogs best interest to be primary. As for the MIL moving in with us , i would rather move in to a kennel with the dog lol.

We dont work in the USA we are fortunate enough to be retired so we have plenty of free time.

What a fantastic forum this is. We both really appreciate the valuable information and the time you have taken in your replies.

> We dont work in the USA we are fortunate enough to be retired so we have plenty of free time

So perhaps fostering really is the answer...

The needs of the dog are paramount obviously when deciding whether to have one BUT but the desire to own and care for a dog can be a very strong pull too.

It certainly sounds as if you could offer a great home to a dog in each country.  I'm not sure how it would work in the US but I know that many places here are on the lookout for caring foster homes.  Sometimes this would be short term just to see a dog through some medical care or to home a dog that can't cope in kennels whilst the kennels finds a forever home.  As long as you were clear about what you could provide I'm sure any offer of help would be welcome.  You could also affiliate yourself with one local rescue place to offer dog walks or emergency overnight accommodation.

Alternatively how about registering as a dog holiday home.  I think Petsitters offer this sort of service.  I'm sure you'd find that you get a lot of repeat business as so many people would rather their dogs stayed in a home rather than the kennels.  Finally, if you were willing to offer a dog walking service there are members on here that might be keen, as long as you are insured etc.

Worth a thought anyway...

Personally I would not put a dog through the stress of numerous long haul flights each year.
I think sharing a dog with your MIL could work as long as you have the same views on feeding and exercise etc.  Why not make it your MIL's dog and you and your wife take care of it some of the time you are in the UK?

I have to say, if it came down to it, then OH could go off galavanting and I'd just stay at home with the dogs :-)

just noticed the suggestions on fostering, I think that would be the perfect solution for you :) 

Yes Suejaw, they flew Heathrow to Dallas, then got a connection flight to (I think) Shreveport, with the dog in his carrier. He was quite a hit with the stewardesses I understand!! There is a weight limit, I know some of my cocker friends can fly with their dogs in the cabin and some cannot if their dogs are a bit heavier.

I think with all things considered that our first step should be (as a few have suggested) to look at fostering. We will start to offer our services to our friends when they  go on holiday and see how we get on.

Its only when we read every comment here that we realised how much more to our original thought process there really is.

The MIL  will i think get her own dog again and we can certainly "babysit" as and when.

> I think with all things considered that our first step should be (as a few have suggested) to look at fostering

that might suit you enormously and think how many dogs you could help get into sheltered and cared for lives :)

In case it helps, here's our experience.  My sister lost her English Shepherd this January to old age, 16 and a half.  My 90 year old Mum was heartbroken because he was almost as much her dog.  Note Mum's age.  She was 73 when Sis got the pup and Mum raised that pup, and her young grandchildren, just as much as Sis did.  No problem there with an elderly caregiver but of course each situation is different.  We did joke that Laddie did not know whether he belonged to Sis or to Mum but it didn't seem to be an overwhelming problem.  He just had two "Moms" who lived in different houses.  Long distance, extended time separations were not a factor though, can't help with that part.

If you are thinking about fostering in the US, retired racing greyhound charities are always looking for foster carers. We started by fostering and had some lovely dogs. Trouble is there's always one that it's harder to let go to it's forever home. Hence we have a lovely old greyhound who we've have been fostering for 9 years now;-). The rescue group we worked with were very flexible, when we started fostering there were still quarantine only import restrictions in this country so we agreed to a long term foster where they would rehome him if we had to come back and put him in quarantine. Fortunately the rules changed so we were allowed to bring him with us. I think there is still greyhound racing in Florida so there will be lots of dogs needing help.