How about a very nice meal out somewhere and nice bottle of plonk.

I would strongly advise against the name addition to a tattoo personally.   branded springs to mind when I see names on bodies with the exception of people who have lost loved ones. :-)

can 110% sympathise with you inthemistuk. Our situation is a bit different - too complicated to go into but i know i must lnot et her get me down or ruin our relationship. Make sure you do the same!!!!
Ggrrr, exes  

oh dont worry she doesnt get to me! well not that she would see anyway..im too busy enjoying being with my first love again
although he is away at the moment cant wait for tomorrow night...

Glad to hear it. Your story has made me smile. Getting with your first love again - true love conquers all :-)

> she doesnt get to me! well not that she would see anyway

Sounds similar to me. I wouldnt give her the satisfaction of letting her know how much she gets to me behind closed doors. Instead i just smile and laugh at her that her life must be so miserable(with her 2nd husband & 3 small children!!!) that she tries to spoil ours :-)

ooh 3 small kids thats punishment on its own!
after 20 years apart i found him on friends reuntied...when we finally met up again it was love at first sight and the rest is history..i love him more and more every day and he adores the ground i walk on.maybe his wife sees something in us that she never had...

can 110% sympathise with you inthemistuk. Our situation is a bit different - too complicated to go into but i know i must lnot et her get me down or ruin our relationship. Make sure you do the same!!!!
Ggrrr, exes

Why would it ruin your relationship if it is that strong you are going to get his name tattooed on you ? If you are saying that you must not let 'her' get to you then it must be in some way so perhaps the need to get his name tattooed maybe to take ownership ?  :)

If you are going to be happy in a relationship you need to feel totally comfortable with the person you are with without having to perhaps prove it ?

ooh 3 small kids thats punishment on its own!

Well I had 3 small kids, and it was great! Pleased to say they are all grown up and very close. :-)
As for having a tattoo with someones name-NEVER, you don't know what is round the corner, however happy you are now.
With respect Freds mum, you haven't been with your OH very long have you?

i broke the marriage (he was my first love) he left her but only moved in with me 6 years later...he has put his kids through uni and seen them more times than he ever did when he was living at home...now its time for her to move on...she has had several fellas but enjoys her life too much having it all funded by me!

To be honest Chell it is only recently you have been lucky enough to be in such a lovely situation in where you are now and I am so happy for you but she has brought the children up . You are not perhaps funding her on your own as you have struggled yourself through some hard times so to say you are doing it is perhaps a bit of an exaggeration .

Blimey how old was he is he has put them all through Uni then as he must have been young when he had them !

>Thank you inthemistuk. Was great reading your post :-) Cant be bothered to comment on some of the others!

How rude.

If you don't want peoples' opinions, perhaps you shouldn't invite them by posting on a public message board.

>Thank you inthemistuk. Was great reading your post  Cant be bothered to comment on some of the others!

How rude.

If you don't want peoples' opinions, perhaps you shouldn't invite them by posting on a public message board.

I think Laur ( presume it is Laura ) is like many people that post on forums that they hear and respond to what they want to hear and are perhaps not able to communicate in any other way ? 

I previously said that i think tattoos are a form of body art, i am not going to comment on the likes of people who call them 'slag tags' and suchlike. Just becuase there is such 'informaion' on wikipedia-that means nothing, anyone can post on wiki[pedia so is not fact.I allow others to have their opinion,  i have mine but i wont comment on something I find offensive especially when people make comments like that and think there is no need for it.
I only posted to get ideas for a birthday present and once again a whole heated topic has arisen

Having a tattoo is absolutely nothing about 'taking ownership'. As i said it is a complicated situation and one which i will not discuss!!! Our relationship is incredibly strong - but i despise anyone who tries to spread s*** for nothing but evil and spitefulness.

And no that is not what Laur is short for :-)

> is like many people that post on forums that they hear and respond to what they want to hear and are perhaps not able to communicate in any other way

as they say assumtion is the mother of all .........!!
You couldnt be further from the truth. I welcome what people say, until it gets person and offensive

> I think Laur ( presume it is Laura ) is like many people that post on forums that they hear and respond to what they want to hear and are perhaps not able to communicate in any other way ? 

I think FredsMum posted to ask for ideas for a present for her OH, the tattoo was just mentioned, and if she is quite happy with it then presumeably there was no point in commenting on posts saying they don't like it - it's just a matter of personal taste .

i however think it is art and there is no better art form than the body so why not decorate it

im not talking a sailors anchor on my arm but something feminine and tasteful.

adourning ones body

Not very often I hear tattoos described in such a nice way Freds Mum.. joking apart you asked so you have to take the opinions. 

You will find the majority of people will find tattoos especially names across bodies to be pretty much tasteless.

My hubby 52, my brother 41 and my stepson 25 all voted with Margot on this one. Maybe it is best to have a good think about it, and better still wait till the relationship is cement solid to..

Just an honest , and freindly opinion..

hi one is 27 one is 24 and graduating in july and the other is 20 and is still at uni
i am not funding her on my own thats true dave is also funding her out of our money we are extremely lucky in that we dont pay rent on this house and have two wages coming in but we are seeing no benefits of our hard work as it is being drained by the 4 bed detached house she lives in alone! the sooner it sells the better then she can actually move on properly
i know what its like to nearly lose everything including my sanity and wouldnt wish it on anyone but i dont expect to be carried through life i work hard and pay my way
maybe she should after all she has a good job car motorbike etc she just pleads poverty to play on Daves guilt.

i actually had 4 kids..i love them to pieces but wouldnt wish 3 small ones on my worst enemy! it must have been rough as non of my kids have procreated yet....my friend is on her second partner and has had 3 kids under 5 whilst her first hubbies kids are all grown up! she came to stay with me! i nearly moved out ..iggle piggle whats that all about....

If you love your boyfriend so much, why does your signature say "The more I experience men, the more I appreciate dogs" ? If you are trying to think up the best possible birthday present for your b/f, surely your experience of him is making you appreciate him?

> And no that is not what Laur is short for :-)

Lauren? :-)

Crumbs.. loads of conflict.. over a birthday present.. :-)  Are men really that worth it.. lol ..

My concern would be that at some point, he is no longer going to be around.. no matter how much you think you love him.. or even thinks he loves you (since he felt this way about someone else once).. nothing is carved in stone, and leopards rarely changed spots..

that aside, I cannot understand why people would wish to deface their own body, I am sure its a very personal thing, perhaps , but to have another person name tatoo'd is not what I would consider a very good present..

If a man did this for me, I would not appreciate it.. no matter what my feelings were towards him.. I would want something more meaningful, a real gift,

If I wanted to have a tattoo, it would be for me.. not for anyone else..

Since you are looking to get a really good present, why not try and find something more original, tattoos seem to be everywhere these days, and really lack imagination..

There are thousands of men and women out their with names of long gone partners out there, regretting every painfull minute of it... meeting someone new could be rather awkward .. ;-)

> she just pleads poverty to play on Daves guilt.

Inthemist - If Dave feels guilty - he wouldn't feel guilty if he had done nothing to feel guilty about!

Reminds me of what we used to put in our books "he who takes what isn't his'n - he should pay - or go to prison"

And Fred's mum - I'm not quoting from Wikipedia - when I refer to "slag tags" or "tramp stamps" - I am using terms that I have heard young professional people AND young "chavs" use when referring to tattoos!  Just for the record as well - No1 son does have a tattoo -  on his shoulder - and my daughter also has one on her bum (a bee, for heaven's sake!!) .   Both had them done because they wanted them done - not for any partner - but although they look nice - I still hate them!

Its a sad reflection on today's society when the obtaining of a tattoo means more than the vows that men and women make before others :(

But I do hope Fred's mum's partner had a jolly day which will remind him of his youth - after all, he is 16 years older than you, isn't he? 

Thank you blue. I do agree that some tattoos are naff and tacky which is why i go to somewhere with a very artistic tattooist who does tattoos freehand :-) I think they are works of art

My signature says that from before i met my chap & i havent got around to changing it. Most men i meet are not very nice but my bf is completely different.
It sounds weird but when he married his now ex wife he admits he never felt like he does know. They married because she was pregnant and it seemed the right thing to do - they both learnt the hard way it wasnt the right thing to do & she did some very awful things -which i will not go into here. Some poeple wont understand that (i dont either) but i know i have found the one. Dont care what others think or say, particularly when (no disrespects) but this is a forum where we dont all know each other/personalitys etc so its hard to make judgements.

As someone said, i didnt actually ask people to give opinions on the tattoo, but i realise by writing it some did feel the need to comment- however, it would have been nicer if not so nice things suggesting i am 'promiscuous' becuase i have a lower back tatto or 'slag tag' were kep to themselves.
As i was brought up - "if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all" :-)

> Its a sad reflection on today's society when the obtaining of a tattoo means more than the vows that men and women make before others :-(

Not really, Just moving with the times. Things change.

> But I do hope Fred's mum's partner had a jolly day which will remind him of his youth - after all, he is 16 years older than you, isn't he?

He doesnt need me to remind him of his youth. yes there is an age difference but it makes no difference whatsover. I hope you are not insinuating he is with me as a younger bird who is a bit of totty on his arm?!! We are in an incredibly loving happy realtionship planning our future together. He had a lovely day same as anyone else on their birthday - the age factor had nothing to do with it

> it would have been nicer if not so nice things suggesting i am 'promiscuous' becuase i have a lower back tatto or 'slag tag' were kep to themselves.

There's nothing wrong in people pointing out the wrong message that can be given, albeit innocently. I used to think that ankle bracelets were pretty until I learned more about them.

As I was brought up: "better to face the truth, warts and all".

> . I used to think that ankle bracelets were pretty until I learned more about them

enlighten me....whats wrong with ankle bracelets??!!

> I used to think that ankle bracelets were pretty until I learned more about them. <IMG alt=eek src="/images/eek.gif">
>

Better enlighten me too, was just thinking of digging out my nice handmade ankle bracelet for the better weather....
Actually I think we just all have our own opinions as to what looks nice, be it tattoos, piercings, fake tan, jewellery etc and I'm not sure there is any right or wrong! We can all make our own choices and like FredsMum says sometimes it's better to say nothing if we have nothing nice to say (that's how I was brought up too!!!)

FredsMum I quite agree your age difference isn't important, it's love that matters! And how you choose to express your love is quite up to you!

> enlighten me....whats wrong with ankle bracelets??!!

It depends upon which ankle it is worn ....' Left for loose , right for reserved '.

> enlighten me....whats wrong with ankle bracelets??!!

From the Googling I've just done, it would appear it can variously be considered a sign of an "easy woman", whore, cuckold's wife or lesbian.

> Not really, Just moving with the times. Things change

How sad!

> We are in an incredibly loving happy realtionship planning our future together.

Which will last for how long?    Until things change?  Or is it just love/live for the minute?

How sad!

Do you ever wish there was a button that you could press to get rid of subjects  that have gone on too long ?

> Which will last for how long?&nbsp; &nbsp; Until things change?&nbsp; Or is it just love/live for the minute?
>
> How sad!

Lokismum,  I can't see why you are predicting the OP's relationship is doomed! She seems very happy!  None of us can predict the future or be positive how things will go, we have to live and love in the present.  

Yes St. Domingo this has gone on too long!

>Do you ever wish there was a button that you could press to get rid of subjects  that have gone on too long ?

There is. :-) Just like with the TV, there's an 'off' switch. ;-)

i like reading this forum but i don't enjoy witch- hunts .

> enlighten me....whats wrong with ankle bracelets??!!

In UK tradition they're best described as a sign of 'easy virtue'.

If you are implying that I am instigating some sort of witch hunt - let me disillusion you immediately!

Fred's Mum has her opinions - to which she is perfectly entitled.   I have my opinion - to which I am perfectly entitled.

Champdogs is called an "Information Exchange".   We have exchanged opinions - that is all!

Of course, if you don't like my posts, do what I do with some others - if you click on Options at the top of the page, you will see there a button marked "ignore".   Click on that, then put my name in the box at the side and hey presto!  You'll never see another post from me :)

And if that is what you want to do, then that's perfectly fine by me!

> Of course, if you don't like my posts, do what I do with some others - if you click on Options at the top of the page, you will see there a button marked "ignore; Click on that, then put my name in the box at the side and hey presto!&nbsp; You'll never see another post from me :-)

>So you assume my comment is directed at you .

I am very bored of the whole thing - his birthday has been and gone !
I don't like the way people go on and on trying to be the person who 'wins' .  Ankle chains have nothing to do with the original question and i come on here for light-hearted chat and to learn something . Why can't we all get on and agree to differ ?  There are so many bad things going on in the world .

> Why can't we all get on and agree to differ ?

I widh, but then i guess the world would be a boring place if there werent difference in opinion

> There are so many bad things going on in the world .

Totally agree, think we need to get perspective here.

As for the ankle bracelet stuff i have never heard such rubbish - like when men say "i had to have my ear pierced in the left ear cos if you get it done in the right ear it means you are gay"!!! I will continue to wear my ankle bracelets when wearing a skirt in summer as IMO opinion they are something pretty on an ugly part of the body  Im not easy, a lesbian or any other stereotype people like to give :-)

> How sad!
>
>> Which will last for how long?&nbsp; &nbsp; Until things change?&nbsp; Or is it just love/live for the minute?
>
> How sad!

Er,how immature

I understand this topic is endng and im more than happy for it to be locked.
Just wanted to say, Lokis mum, thank you for quetioning how long you predict my relationship will last but really, you are not someone who knows me or my partner so cannot comment. Unless you have a crystal ball and can see into the future????? People marry & have children and it doesnt work out. You cant get rid of kids, you cant get of tattoos. I am not stupid i realise that.

Again - I must post a correction.   I am not predicting how long your relationship will last - as you say, I do not know you - so how on earth could I?   It was you who said Not really, Just moving with the times. Things change in response to my comment : Its a sad reflection on today's society when the obtaining of a tattoo means more than the vows that men and women make before others
which to me, implied a far more flippant idea of commitment than that which I know.

I wish you well - I hope your relationship lasts as long as mine - 46 years ....no - on second thoughts - would I wish that on anyone else :) !!   JOKE!

> As for the ankle bracelet stuff i have never heard such rubbish - like when men say "i had to have my ear pierced in the left ear cos if you get it done in the right ear it means you are gay"!!! I will continue to wear my ankle bracelets when wearing a skirt in summer as IMO opinion they are something pretty on an ugly part of the body&nbsp; Im not easy, a lesbian or any other stereotype people like to give :-)

its not rubbish, its its historical meaning, just like upper arm bracelets were a mark of a slave. it does not however apply today and i agree they are nice (though anything that draws attention to my feet is perhaps a bad idea)

Oh wounderful!!!!!!

>> Its a sad reflection on today's society when the obtaining of a tattoo means more than the vows that men and women make before others :-(
> Not really, Just moving with the times. Things change.

I don't know if they do.  I think young women still want commitment they have just lost the art of obtaining it. 
Has he got your name on his backside?

dave has my thumb print on his forehead...it might as well be a tattoo...

lol :)

Wondered as to why Alders went down the pan!!!??? :-o :-p

Who said that??? ;-)

> I am very bored of the whole thing

So why keep reading the thread and posting?

> So why keep reading the thread and posting?

I keep reading because i keep hoping that someone will post something nice and friendly.

hey I certainly gave the shoppers something a little extra that day! no complaints...it was a bit over priced and i prefer marks and spencers.....but hey when in Rome! it was unique and appreciated by so many....