My Dad has just visited with his partner (female) and they are getting married, he's 78. Mum's been dead over 4 years so im quietly chuffed but her family will not approve.
I told them to books a swanky holiday and pop off a ger wed, its their business, then if anyone does find out later tough!!
Why do people find in necessary to cause misery to people who have been through death of a partner, my Mum & Dad were married 52 years. Mags and Alan about 30+, I think its nice and they are very happy, Dad has some one to care for again and Mags is having a second chance at friendship, love and travel. Made my day!! ( she's got a Boxer as well so a really nice person). But I will have a step Mum thats 6 years older than me!!!

what great news for your Dad and im glad your happy for him to.
Such a shame that others cant find it in there hearts to be happy for him too.

aww, congratulations to them both :)

> Why do people find in necessary to cause misery to people who have been through death of a partner,

sometimes it just takes them hard i think. i think people get used to thinking of others in a certain way and when they change it throws them. Also i think some people consider it disrespectful to the person whos gone. i couldn't disagree more, if someone loved you they'd hardly want you to dress in black for the rest of your days and never speak above a whisper... so i say well done them for finding companionship and joy in each other.

> But I will have a step Mum thats 6 years older than me!!

I have one 10 months younger than me, and I have an older sister too!

I know how it feels to have adult offspring disapprove, though mine are only just adult.

It is their lives so tell them to go for it.

> I know how it feels to have adult offspring disapprove, though mine are only just adult

:( how is that going?

or on a more upbeat note, how are the wedding plans :)?

my nan got married again at the age of 80 years old it last 6 months and he untill pop his sock off.

Fantastic - but remind them to do a new will after they are married .

Well we are talking via text message at least.

Wedding plans:

Wedding rings bought

Dress bought: http://www.grattan.co.uk/Strappy-Dress/productdisplay.stm?An=673&Ntt=strapy+pewter+dress&A=74R736%5F10&Nty=1&Au=P%5FMasterItem&Nu=P%5FMasterItem&Ntx=mode%2Bmatchallpartial&Ns=P%5FColour%7C0%7C%7CP%5FSize%7C0&Ntk=PRIMARY

Have bought a scarf (pasmina's I have seen them called) to go over my shoulders, to hide my arms.  It has lacing on the back.  Silver grey shoes, a silver and grey beaded bag.  A turquoise and silver dragonfly broooch (real) bought by other half pinned into the cleavage.

His 3 piece suit bought and altered a snip of the original £260 price tag. http://www.brooktaverner.co.uk/bt/product/188

Officially no guests, but if anyone turns up that's up to them, so we will have a few gatecrashers as several have asked the time.

Off on the honeymoon next morning.

Aww i think its lovely that they have found love again, good for them.

Brainless - that dress is just beautiful!

Good for them, hope they have many happy years together, my dad has a new partner, lost my Mum at 54yrs 4 years ago, but I cant stand his new friend, she does'nt like Animals!!!

Yep done all our shopping on-line and bargain hunting is my game.

Kenya, does that mean you put on a brave face for your fathers sake or make your dislike apparent?  I don't need my kids to like my OH (would be nice) but to accept that I have the right to make the choice.

oh barbara, everything looks lovely :)

and i am so pleased that communication is starting up again.

many many congratulations again :)

Brainless - love your dress. :-)  Your going to look fabulous.

Whistler,

Your Dad should go for it, always reach for happiness. 

My Grandfather (mum's side) met and fell for a lady a few years after my grandmother died, if I'm truly honest we were all a little shocked when he announced they were to be married after only dating for 6 months, I guess he thought why wait, time wasn't on their side. :-)

I know my mum felt most upset, but when we sat down and talked about it, really got to the bottom of her teary feelings, it wasn't about her dad finding someone after her mum, it was for purely selfish reasons. My grandfather spent a lot of time with my mum from calling in to dog walks, when he began dating she slowly lost him to the other lady, as obviously he spent more time with her, in effect my mother felt as though she were loosing him, a little like when our children grow up, meet others, move away, it was the same for her, perhaps your dads girlfriends family feel that same way.

However, in the end though my mum had to look at the big grin and sparkling life back in his eyes and accept what the rest of us were seeing, he married aged 85 and was so happy for the rest of the time he had left.

I think that is the best way to be no matter how any of us feel about anyone, whether for selfish reasons, age differences etc, you have to look at people's faces if they are happy and in love then why would anyone not wish them to marry, it's not for anyone else to say, you have to rejoice happiness, we have such fleeting lives, we should always make the most of them. :-)

I suppose the dynamics of marriage change getting married so late in life but so what?! After the death of a loved one that has shared your life for 50+ years why shouldnt people have another chance at happiness and companionship?? Good luck to them i say & congratualtions.xx

Viv - well done your Dad - I hope the marriage brings him and his partner lots of happiness.  As for Barbara - well we could all gatecrash and throw some confetti!   That would look good - we could all line the path with our dogs.  :-)

That would be good as it is pedestrian precinct by St Nicholas Market where they hold farmers market.

Tell him to go for it, my great grandad died nearly 20 years ago and my nanna felt shame looking at anyone else, she then got closer to an old friend after his wife went into a home and sadly died. They shared a flat and they were pondering whether to tie the knot but had to put it off due to my nannas sisters death. Unfortunately he died after a short illness and they never did. No time like the present

Dear all, many thanks ! and Brainless go girl that dress is lovely!!
My Mum & Dad were A & M friends since before they married and god parents to their two children. M caught menegitis and was unconcious for two weeks, she has mild epilepsy now and a wee bit of brain damage, it just means she is slower than she was but so tiny (5 2") and kind always laughing. A then got liver cancer and died at about 55. Mum died at 69 about 4 years ago from cancer.
They always went as a 4 some when A was ill and all got on so well, it was natural that Dad helped M (A died first about 2 years before Mum) and when Mum died she reciprocated. They had their first holiday around the world (Seperate beds Dad said no need for any of that!!) well they def came home in a different mood. That was about 2/3 years ago, they decided to move in together and all hell let loose.
Anyway Kev and I said go for it and they live at Dad's home. Now they want to go a step further, M has kept her home and her son lives there and he did not even send her a Mothers Day Card!! and my Dad helped him with his house and gave him money. His daughter just thinks is disgusting, and is so selfish she stops M seeing her only grandchildren its awful, but you should see them together they hold hands!!! ( We (Kev &1)are in our 50's and M's children about 35 & 33 so not kids as such)

Its my Dad who has the money and houses, they object to her spending her money that they feel should go to them and not be frittered away on holidays and things. Kevin & I dont want Dads money we can make our own, we just want him to have a good life as he has been so generous setting us up.

In life you have one go, and you should grab it with both hands. But first , do no harm! this does no one any harm and he looks after M and she cares for him its perfect!!!

I wish people would not seek to place their views and bias on others we can only walk in our own shoes and have no right to walk in anyone elses.

> they object to her spending her money that they feel should go to them and not be frittered away on holidays and things

ohhhhhh that annoys me!! its HER money!! how selfish!

Whistler - warmest congratulations to your Dad and his fiancee.
Hopefully her family will come round with time, but it is not always easy to accept such big changes and find your relationship with your parents hugely altered. My parents divorced after about 30 years of marriage, and it was hard to come to terms with my mother getting married again aged 62. Partly this was because she said it was something she would never do and ended up having a whirlwind engagement and marriage, married 3 months after first meeting! Our relationship changed a lot of course as we went from spending a lot of time together and sharing lots of holidays etc, to seeing very little of each other, and also the relationship with the new 'stepfather' was not very good. (he was not always very kind to her so that made it strained)  I can imagine if the other parent has passed away the children, although grown up, may feel that the parent has been in some way replaced, it can be strangely upsetting to see your remaining parent love someone else when you have been bereaved. As time goes on they may find things settle down and they can see both have found new happiness and be able to be glad for them. 

Its 8 years if her children spent time caring for her or being around I would (give!) them more credit. But her daughter moved away and left M with her son who lived with her but did not pay rent or anything and has started verbally abusing her and shouting at her.
When we talk about her son my Dad gets all tearful!! Amyway whjat they think is up to them and I can see they find it hard but to say "what would Dad think of you frittering his money away on holidays" is cruel beyond belief. She has been more than generous to many at least £20 - 30k each. Its very diffecult but were ok about it all as we only wish happiness for our Dad, and she is a sweetie who has known (us) since our early 20's.
But what do you buy two olddies with everything!!!! my son said a card with a durex and a warning about safe sex!!! he love's the idea too!! my youngest son text Awww so i think thats positive?

> my youngest son text Awww so i think thats positive?

lol yes i'd assume "awww, thats sweet" rather than "aww that sucks".

pmsl depending on their sense of humour that might go down well!

> but to say "what would Dad think of you frittering his money away on holidays" is cruel beyond belief

i would hope he would say "i wish i was still with you to do it but the new man will do very well :), i'd rather you were happy"

Congratulations to them both, thats such a sweet story!!! :)

As for her family, thats a shame about that, why cant they just accept it and be happy for them!

Different people, different opinions. All feels something and all have something to say. For them, I extend my congratulations. Everybody deserves to be happy. I remember when I got married, all in the world is against us and everything seems pretty wrong until now.

That wedding attire was awesome for just £260, it's just £39 cheaper than the C&D wedding suits which are tailor made.

Aww I think its so sweet :-)

Nicki xx