> i've tried to desensitize her by stroking her feet while she's relaxed or asleep and holding her claws but she always jumps up and looks as though i'm going to do something awful to her!
You're on the right track :) Now you need to add some positave association, ie, gently stroke her paw and then give her a treat (something really tasty like cheese/liver). Keep this up until she associates her paws being touched with treats (and therefore thinks it's good), then hold her paw & give a treat, when shes happy with that hold her claw & treat etc... When she's fully happy with her feet being handled, introduce the clippers, but don't cut her claws yet. Start by just having them in sight when you touch her paws, then move on to stoking her paws with the clippers (remembering to give a treat if she accepts it), then when you feel she is happy enough clip a claw :) Remeber lots of praise & a treat for every time she accepts her feet being handled.
When you can clip a claw, just do the one. Then a little while later (maybe a couple of hours), try the next one.
The idea is to very
gradually get her used to having her feet/toes handled and used to having her claws cut, but also for there to be a positive association. Keep all sessions short, don't be tempted to push her to far as you'll end up finishing the seesion on a bad note, it's much better if you end each session soon, but with a happy dog waiting to earn her next treat.
I hope that's given you some pointers :)