Dear all.

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or partner shopping.  

This is a true letter sent recently  by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning your husband/partner from shopping with us, unless he stops his  antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals .

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to  feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares .... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and  told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,  he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the  antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

    And finally.....

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
   

Therefore we are issuing an ultimatum, unless your husband/partner stops this behaviour we will have to ban him from our premises. Not only is he causing a nuisance to other shoppers, he is setting a very bad example to children visiting the store with their parents, this includes your own children of which I believe you have five and you bring them all into the store with you,  May I suggest in future you leave your husband/partner at home with the children, which will allow you to shop in peace and it will be less stressful for our staff and other shoppers. I hope I can have your cooperation in this matter.

  Yours sincerely
John Barrett

Regional Customer Services Manager

> October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it

GROSS BUT MADE ME HOWL LAUGHING

Thats got to be better than moaning, moping and dawdling along whist never checking prices and only contributing whilst in the confectionary section?? Funny, funny man IMO :-)

It wasnt sausages it was bacon...

They have met my OH obviously.

> Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

This one made me laugh :-)

;-) :-D Very funny,

Must admit my hubby has done the condom thing to my mother a couple of times he has slipped a box in her basket along with a certain jelly and stood behind her creasing up whilst she unloaded her basket with a look of horror. He's always teasing my mum. :-)

> Must admit my hubby has done the condom thing to my mother a couple of times he has slipped a box in her basket along with a certain jelly and stood behind her creasing up whilst she unloaded her basket with a look of horror. He's always teasing my mum. :-)

LOL thats sooo funny!!! I might try it with my other half and see what his face does!!! LOL

They are funny though :):)

> 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
>

I found this one particularly funny ;)

Oh, just wonderful!!  Howling laughing.  Thank-you!!

I've seen this beofre and it never fails to make me laugh :-)

I truly believe men and women should not go shopping together. The amount of arguments/disagreements i seem to come across in the supermarket is crazy!! Myself included :-)
Its a job i perform best at when alone

I have done three of these (I won't say which three) but thanks for the ideas!!
Jeff.

Can just imagine you hiding in a clothes rail, jumping out saying "pick me"! 

As for the rest, yep, keep that to yourself ;-)

I liked the condoms one...bet u did that didnt you Jeff...and the Madonna cones one.....might be tempted to do the clock one myself....hee hee....