Hello all.  Wonder if anyone can give me some advice.  My family has recently been spending a lot of time together (due to family bereavement) and I've been seeing quite a lot of my sister in law over the last couple of weeks round at my parents.

My youngest Dudley, who is 11 months old, is quite a shy dog at times anyway and more of a doggy dog than a people dog.  He takes his time to approach people and check them out, which is fine, and once he feels they are okay he's okay with them, but he seems to be totally scared of the SIL.  We don't usually see much of each other and the last time he met her was when he was about 3 months old.

He hides behind my legs or behind the sofa, when he leaves the room he takes the longest route to the door away from her.  I've been very careful not to mollycoddle him when he behaves like this knowing this can encourage the behaviour and have suggested that she just ignores him but this is really upsetting her.  If she approaches too close he will give a small growl and fortunately she pays attention to that and backs off?  My older dog is fine with her, mind you he's fine with everyone and always up for a cuddle!

Does anyone have any suggestions on what we can do as this is really bothering her and also it upsets me that he's scared of someone.  I want her to see what a funny little fella he is.  He's food mad and so yesterday I asked her to feed him by hand but he wouldn't come near her.  We put a couple of bits of food on the floor near to her and he shot over grabbed the bits and ran off.

Once she's left the house, he's back to his old self, playing with my older dog, running around and generally being a pup!  All very weird.

It's probably important to mention that we sometimes have a bit of a strained relationship - could he be picking up on that, although we seem to be getting along well recently, that may be just circumstances though and hopefully it will last this time!

Thanks
S

it could be the way she smells?

That's a thought.  I should have also mentioned that she is a rather large loud lady, with orange hair, do you think she looks a bit scary as well?  He's quite a small dog and so she must look enormous!

My dogs are all over people when they come in, but when my dad's partner comes, 2 of them growl at her, but I'm sure they sense she's scared or doesnt like them, so its great as she doesnt visit much!!
Dogs pick up on the slightest thing, it could be fear, nervous energy being given out, if she doesnt visit much, I would'nt bother.

Dogs are far far cleverer than we will ever be!!

Make sure she DOESN'T approach him. If you were scared of snakes, you wouldn't feel better by being forced to be around them. Instead get your SIL to sit down and not look at the dog and offer food. If he won't take it from her hand to start with, which he most likely will not, just throw it at the floor close to him, gradually moving it closer and closer. It has to be done very slowly (no overlarge hand and arm gestures either) and only gradually be changed into the person giving the food by hand and then looking at the dog when the dog feels safer, eventually touching it etc. Very slowly. I had two dogs that acted like this with a person, when they see her now they run up to her tails wagging. The main key is no force, ever -it has to be on the dog's own terms or it will have the opposite effect.

Excellent advice Marianne :)

Thanks for that advice Marianne - it is excellent and makes perfect sense.  Unfortunately SIL used to have dogs years ago and can't understand why a dog won't take to her.  As soon as she comes in she is trying to make friends with him and stroke him, even though I have asked her to ignore him and let him come to her, or not as he fancies.  She is not an easy lady to advise!!

Anyway, I will try again using your advice and see where we go.

just a thought she isnt pregnant is she one of my dogs didnt like my sister in law then we found out she was pregnant once baby born he was fine.....weird!!

One of mine will not go near my BIL, he trys to make her talk to him much to my annoyance,but she will have none of it and growls at him.

He is very loud and forcefull and she knows it.

> Does anyone have any suggestions on what we can do as this is really bothering her and also it upsets me that he's scared of someone.  I want her to see what a funny little fella he is.  He's food mad and so yesterday I asked her to feed him by hand but he wouldn't come near her.  We put a couple of bits of food on the floor near to her and he shot over grabbed the bits and ran off.
>

get her to try throwing them gently to him instead?- then he's not crowded by her but shes still giving him a positive thing. our behaviourist has suggested this for our nervous aggressive boy

Thanks for your advice Astarte - like Marianne's, it does make sense.

However, after a few days of upset, mainly caused by her and my brother, I'm thinking that Goldie has hit the nail on the head, and little Dudley spotted trouble as soon as he laid eyes on her!!!

"However, after a few days of upset, mainly caused by her and my brother, I'm thinking that Goldie has hit the nail on the head, and little Dudley spotted trouble as soon as he laid eyes on her!!! "

Never underestimate your dog's ability to evaluate people. I trust mine to let me know if a person is genuine or not. If my dogs don't like someone, nor do I ;-)

Spot on, RRfriend--I've got two "friends" who think nothing of turning up unannounced late at night, helping themselves to whatever food there is (well, they bri9ng their own milk for tea, they know I don't have any on the house!), then stay the night becuase it's too late to go home (!), or the weekend (!!!)...I hadn't seen much of them lately since they bought a car :-) but last month they turned up again. The first I know of it was my lad racing to the door in a fury of barking and despite their efforts to make friends (they don't like dogs) he wouldn't go near them and even growled--I've NEVER heard him do this. Had it been a burglar, he'd have shared his dinner bowl and bed, but not with these two. I was very pleased--we probably won't see them for a long time now.