Has anybody ever contested a will, is it difficult and expensive?

I understand it can be an expensive job so unless a lot of money or property is involved I would not go there. Unless you really feel there has been some really bad things going on.

If you ask at your local Citizens' Advice Bureau, they will give you free advice initially.

The property alone would be in excess of 400k, I think I will do as Oldilocks says and try the CAB

The property may be 400K but if it is a matrimonial home it will not be "moveable" property so it depends on who is challenging.  Heritable and moveable property are two different things and Spouses have right to matrimonial property before children.

I would certainly speak to a Solicitor who specialises in this area. They may give you some time free or an agreed price.  Make sure it is not just any run of the mill solicitor.  They all have strengths and weaknesses.

It would be heritable ie my parents and I'm told that I have been excluded from the will and that my 'third' will be divided between my 2 sisters. So as you can see not a great amount of family love flows between us. Both myself and one of my sisters objects to this and would like to challenge it.

If both parents are no longer alive then " generally" the money from the house would become "Moveable" property.  Children can challenge for a share. There is always some loop holes but all being straight forward a challenge can be done.

I would really advise getting the experienced to help.

Hi Pinky,

I can't improve on Blue's advice but just wanted to add firstly my sincere condolences on your loss - losing a parent is very hard, regardless of our age and other family we may have.

Secondly, I don't know (or mean to pry) into the circumstances, but if this is all very recent perhaps try and let emotions calm a little before diving in at the deep end.  Sometimes situations that seem impossible to resolve can actually be resolved better without legal intervention.  I'm not in any way implying that there is never a need for it but it could be at the moment that going down an official route will worsen relations and opportunities to resolve matters.  (ETA by all means investigate your potential rights - but keep the info to yourself meantime)

Just a word of caution for your own sake and that of the future relationship between you and your siblings.  I sincerely hope things work out fairly and amicably for you.

best wishes,
Teri

My sister is particularly keen to challenge so I think perhaps the solicitor will be our next port of call. Thank-you

One thing I should have added is that all estate settlements are supposed to be legally checked before funds are issued to prevent claims by anyone who should be /is a legal beneficiary, there is time to let the dust settle as Teri has said.

Apologies for not offering my condolences in my first post also. 

Teri thank you for your thoughts but I think I had better clarify, my enquiry was purely for the benefit of my sister. My parents are both still very much alive although perhaps not in the best of health.

There has been a family rift for the past 15 years when I made the mistake of getting divorced and brought 'shame' to the family name, since then I have had no contact from my parents although I have tried on several occasions in the past. The only family member that keeps in touch with me is my younger sister the youngest one does not.

I have just hit the ripe old age of 50 (today) and leading up to Xmas thought that maybe I would try again to build bridges and so have sent cards and a letter unfortunately there has been no response.

My younger sister has told me that my parents have written me out of their will and she is determined to correct what she calls this injustice.

I realise that with things like this it pays to be very careful and I'm not about to charge in with all guns blazing. Thank-you again for your concern.

> have just hit the ripe old age of 50 (today)

Very happy birthday :)

Family rifts are often the most hurtful & tend to not be the easiest to resolve as we are so emotionally attached to them, but I think it's good you tried to build bridges with them, may I suggest you continue with this? They are your parents after all & maybe after 15 years they may have mellowed a little bit? (hope that isn't too presumptious of me!).

With regards the will, do you want it contesting? To me this could aggreivate the situation further with your parents.  I do not understand what your sister means about injustice.  You aren't entitled to any of their inheritance (I mean they don't have to give you anything!), I'm sure not every parent is in the position to be able to leave anything for their parents & certainly not an sset of this size.  Personally I see this as a nice gesture from parents but it should not be something that is taken for granted, at the end of the day they would have worked all their lives to pay for a house etc & it should be down to them & them alone what happens to it after the pass away.

Not meaning any of this to be personal to you Pinky just my take on inheritance.

Im having some thoughts on this one from a slightly different point of view. Please please do not take this personally, but what makes anyone think that they are entitled to anything a parent leaves?
Surely what someone leaves is theres to leave? its not compulsory that its equal dibs for all that feel they are entitled to it? with no contact for years the parents do have the right to leave their money and property to whoever they wish it is there's after all?

The usual challange to a will is based upon family being excluded recently not after a fued that has gone on for over 10 years? you may be just wasting your money. If you were recently written out due to a family misunderstanding or parents becoming senile or under someone's influence thats different.

My Dad is my sole parent and when Mum died my brother and I became tenents in common of his houses because he wants us to inherit. If Dad wants to give my brother money now, its his money and he can do whatever he wants to do with his money, its not my money, never was and unless its given to me never will be.

I also have power of attorney from years back to ensure Dad is not taken advantage of by anyone his propoerty was signed to my brother and I as we "inherited" mums property when she died it did not all pass to Dad he did not want it to. But my bottom line is, if its not yours now why should it be yours later? people have the law to protect their wishes for their property its not up for grabs when they die.

The only way to correct that is for the remaining siblings or surviving spose to say that is not the way I want it, to deny inheriting the property & money and issue a new will at that point of time. The the remaining spose has to last 7 years to avoid tax implications. So if your sisters change the will or give you some of their inheritance, to put what is an unfortunate case right.

Blimey if our parents shut us out Kev & I have been married three times each the local dogs home would be rubbing their hands all the way to the bank!!

I completely agree with you here Whistler ;)

> I have just hit the ripe old age of 50 (today)

I have also just hit the ripe old age of 21!!! today ( 40 really) Happy birthday. :)

I do not really have any legal experience to add, just thought I woulds offer my support as like you have no contact with my parents either so know how it feels.

Take Care

Dxxxx

I take on board what all of you have to say. It is mainly my sister that feels that things are unjust, she and I have always kept in touch whereas sadly my youngest sister and I do not, she feels that my telephone calls always come at the wrong time and that my letters and texts are too long and she doesn't have time to answer them.

The sister that I do keep in touch with does have contact with my parents but she doesn't talk about me to them for fear of their annoyance.

I do not believe or feel that my parents owe me anything but my sister feels that it is unfair that she and my other sister will benefit in time.

She has said that when the time comes and both of my parents have passed away she would like for us 3 sisters to 'sort' things out together but she does not feel that my youngest sister would be willing to which is why she was talking about contesting.

I have thought of continuing my attempts to build bridges with my parents but to be honest I'm not very hopeful, their feelings against me are so strong that I was not allowed to be present at my grandmother's funeral nor those of close Aunties and Uncles.

I am now in my second marriage (14 years) and unfortunately my mother still refers to me as 'that harlot' and she will have nothing to do with my children either (first marriage). Come to think of it why on earth do I want to be in touch with this woman? I must be mad. Maybe it's my age :(

> I was not allowed to be present at my grandmother's funeral nor those of close Aunties and Uncles.
>
>

You don't need anyone's permission to attend a funeral!!  Maybe you thought that it would have caused another row if you had attended?  From what you have said, I would be tempted to tell them where to stick their Will.  :)

> with no contact for years the parents do have the right to leave their money and property to whoever they wish it is there's after all?

Sadly the lack of contact has been on their part, I have tried and continue to do so, but so far to no avail.

> its not compulsory that its equal dibs for all that feel they are entitled to it? with no contact for years the parents do have the right to leave their money and property to whoever they wish it is there's after all?

I totally agree with you that it is not compulsory for equal shares all around to those that feel entitled, but when the only ones available to benefit are the children, I do know that when the time comes for me and my OH there will be no question that whatever we have will be shared equally amongst my 3 children.

I like many parents have had difficult times with my children particularly my eldest, a daughter,  but even in the darkest times I was determined that our relationship would not follow the same track as that of mine and my mother's, to this end I kept up the contact with birthday cards, phone calls and letters, even when she was determined to have nothing to do with me I would not let her alone.

She has now grown and developed into a lovely girl, but even if she hadn't I would never have written her out of my life and on my passing she would have had equal shares to those that her brothers might receive. Not one of my children is any more important than the other.

The part that I find particularly sad is that I to am now a grand mother to a beautiful 2 year old boy from my daughter and not only do my parents not want to know my children but my mother refers to my daughter as 'that girl that had the baby'.

What's even stranger is the fact that I am telling complete strangers all of this, maybe there is security in the annonimity.

The other thing is, I don't think that you could do anything about contesting the Will until after your parents have died as the contents of any Will are supposed to be confidential.  Theoretically, your parents are the only ones who know what has been written!!

I can understand where your sister is coming from I am the one in our family who is despised yet I always ensure parents are even handed about their will and dealings with us all and their grandchildren - mad I know as if left to their own devices my parents would leave everything to myself and my children - non of us would need to work again lol.

I have always said non of us needed what they left us but if they were not going to spend it themselves before their time is up they'd best make sure its split 4 ways ie 3 children with 4th share for gdaughters, if they didn't we'd let the soliticors get on with it then split everything up our own way after they'd gone so be fair or don't bother with leaving any of it to any of us ----- don't be picking and choosing for whatever reason.

If I were you and your sister and she felt so strongly about you receiving your 'fair share' as both she and I would see it then leave things well alone and sort it between the 2 of you once they've gone, no one can stop her splitting her share with you and possibly speaking with youngest sibling to have her do the same - all depends on how greedy folk are, I just don't see the point paying out a fortune to solicitors they'd be the only people to gain.

I received a phone call from a favourite Uncle when a favourite Auntie passed away and he said that my parents had said that they didn't want me there, he thought it best that for his sake (it was his and my mother's sister) as he was so upset on his sisters passing he felt he couldn't cope with any more upset so perhaps it would be best if I didn't go. So I didn't because I didn't want to have him any more upset.

As for my grand mother it was thought I would 'taint' the ground, words failed me on that one, and that takes some doing.

Ironically, I am now the only family member to visit both graves, tidy them and place flowers. My mother would so hate that if she knew.

I really wouldn't be thinking about contesting a will in this situation :-( I would be trying to speak to my parents, not trying to get their money after they die. To be honest if they regularly see your sisters, and your sisters are more than likely looking after them then I think it's only fair they get your parents estate. I would tell my sister you're not worried about the will and continue to try to build bridges instead :-)

I know it can only be contested after the passing of both parties to the will. The reason I was enquiring about it is because my sister is determined that she wants to do something about it when the time comes.

I think she's just on a fact finding mission at the moment and has her hot head on, she knows that I have tried again to contact them and have had no response. It was to her that my parents said I had been excluded from the Will

Who is the Executor of the will?

It used to be my favoured sister's husband that was the executor, but as he is now also an ex-husband the responsibilty now lie's on the shoulders of the un-favoured sister.
Sounds awful to call them that

> I would be trying to speak to my parents,

The trouble with this is that they won't speak to me.

They see my youngest sister regularly but not the middle one, her contact is by phone mainly and when she visits them. At the moment they do not need looking after and live well together although their health is not too good and in time they may well need help.

I'm not too sure what will happen then as the youngest one does not want the bother of caring for them and the middle one is physically not up to the job being disabled herself. I'm sorry girls but it gets worse, the more you ask the more I tell and the more dysfunctional my family seems.

Ironically the one who stands to benefit the most is the one that least wants the job of caring for them in later years

I feel sorry for you in that you feel 'left out' of the Will and I am sure that it is not just the money, you are unhappy because you see it as a rejection by your parents and your sister is upset on your behalf too.  Maybe your family difficulties will be resolved in time.  Just to add, I know several people who have cut one of their children out of their Will when they have been displeased with them, the people concerned are still around and their children are all back in their Will.  Wills aren't permanent and should be up-dated annually anyway.

> I feel sorry for you in that you feel 'left out' of the Will and I am sure that it is not just the money, you are unhappy because you see it as a rejection by your parents and your sister is upset on your behalf too.

This is probably nail on the head, I don't need their money although like everybody a little more is always helpful. I don't want their approval just their recognition that I do actually exist. I don't even want them to blinkin like me but just to accept that I'm still here.

My sister is a little hot head at times and wants to put things right, I have told her she's bitten off more than she can chew if she follows on this track

Now as this is my 50th birthday I'm off to open a bottle of le vin rouge, cos I'm blowed if I'm going to spend the evening moping about a set of parents that need a lesson in parenting!! Night Night and thanks for your ears. :)

> My sister is a little hot head at times and wants to put things right, I have told her she's bitten off more than she can chew if she follows on this track

Tell her not to go shooting her mouth off or she'll be out of the Will too!  :)  Families!!........who'd have them??  :)

Enjoy the rest of your Birthday!!

This is very sad, I do feel sorry for your situation Pinky. I absolutely cannot imagine treating any of my children like this, as a parent I strive to treat them all equally and although I don't feel children are 'owed' anything, I think whatever there is should be fairly distributed.
We have a rift in our family too - you aren't alone in having a dysfunctional family! In our case my brother won't speak to my father and I think my father has decided that his will should avoid leaving either of us anything so as not to cause trouble.
I really feel for you, it's not really about money it's the way you have been treated which seems so unfair.

Morning, said with very wobbly head due to 2 big glasses of wine last night :(:(:(

Funnily enough my dear parents have said that if she continues to 'consort' with me then they will disown her too, so I think I will have a firm word with the little mare and tell her to chill a little, it's not worth all of the aggro.

I do feel better though for bending your ears everybody ta :)

Belated birthday greetings to you and welcome to the '50s'.  :)
Dont fall out with any more of your family, it's only money and if you are left out then perhaps you have decent siblings who can share on something?
My OH had an aunt who left out 2 of 5 brothers, 1 was/is comfortably off and wasn't bothered. the other my OH shared some with though he was the only one....(2 other miserable so and so's).
It's only money..........
Karen :)

I think this is what will eventually happen, my fave sister has always said that if the parents won't divide things equally and she can't convince non-fave sister to share equally then she will split her share with me.

Sad thing is once my parents have passed my non-fave sister will be the one left out as she does not respond to my letters etc and does not stay in touch with fave sister. She'll end up with loadsa money and no close family silly girl.

Money can't buy happiness so as long as you live your life well, have kids that you are proud to call your own then you are the winner in this :-)

My mum is SKIing at the moment (spending the kids inheritance), but I don't mind. Not sure how old your daughter is, but if I was her I'd just turn up on their doorstep and introduce myself "Hey gramps!" ;-)  But that's just me.  I would advise this because it was my dad's youngest brother that poisoned the whole of my dad's family against him - they didn't realise their mistake until the day he died.  And the youngest has still to acknowledge my dad's widow and children - he'll be getting a lovely picture of my wedding to show him what he is missing out on, it's his loss, not mine.

Pinky,
It is hard, but! swollow your pride, be the better person. I know what it is to be dismissed by the family after a divorce. No marriage is better than a bad marriage.
I would wait until you feel in the right mood and just call on them. They will probly be shocked and you will get them off gard. Say you were worried about them as you had heard they had not been to well.
Take mom some flowers.
If they become cantankerous, just let it go. (treat them like a child in a moody) don't bite. it will be hard.
But! it may break the ice.
I beleve (unless it has changed) 2 have to contest the will then it goes to probate.

Denese

I think you have to treat establishing a relationship with your parents as a completely seperate issue to any inheritance.  I think you need to just think about whether that is what you want and then just go for it because time has a habit of moving relentlessly on :-)
As far as contesting the will, if you should ever feel that appropriate I would take advise from a solicitor.  I have found an hours advise is often offered free, particularly in a practice that you have used before, perhaps for property conveyancing.  However I would doubt very much there would be any grounds as you are not a dependent and the will was written when they were in their full capacities.  Personally, I do feel ethically this is how it should be.  We should be able to leave our money where ever we wish.

> No marriage is better than a bad marriage

Very true and strange too that both my parents never actually liked the first husband, my mother thought he had a hard cruel face. Which he did and he was a bit heavy with his fists.

> I would wait until you feel in the right mood and just call on them

Not sure if I would ever have the guts to just appear on their doorstep, if ever I did I couldn't do it on my own and if OH came with me I know that if either parent gave me verbal abuse which is very common from them my OH would not stand for that.
To be honest just turning up would be a bad idea, they have both told my sister that they do not want me to set foot on their property.

I have tried to explain to my fave sister that you can only flog a dead horse so much, they do not want to know me and that's it. I am not as concerned about the will as she is on my behalf. At the rate things are going my youngest non-sister will have leeched everything out of them and there will not be enough to care for them should they need nursing care.