We have to speak out loud next Friday in a meeting thing and i am really scared

I have never been good at speaking in groups, my voice goes all shaky, and i go bright red and icant even speak properly cos my voice shakes!!

No joke, i hate it so much and i wont even sleep properly now till next Friday thats how scared it makes me

Has anyone experienced this before and did they cure it? It feels like a disease to me...

I feel so pathetic but it really scares and upsets me so much.... :( :( I even feel like taking the day off!

I used to be like that, and probably still am to a certain degree.......................face your fears and just go for it...................I went and got a job where I have to stand and speak in meetings for 30 mins a time :-O :-D and I have to say, it's got easier with time and practice :-) Good luck with it

I don't think there are many people who enjoy public speaking, I don't mind it as long as I'm fully prepared.  We did quite a few presentations at uni but I haven't dome much since then other than leading small team meetings, which don'y really count.

What is the topic? If it's something you can be confident talking about that will help.  You need to calm your nerves as best you can, take deep breaths & where ever possible reherse what you are going to say.  The more you do this the more confident you'll be in the words & this will show in your presentation.

Don't worry about going red, nobody will notice they will just be listenning to you.  I'm sure you will be fine if you don't panic yourself too much.  How long do you have to speak for? 2 minutes can go so quickly, don't worry yourself & definitely don't take time off work because of it.  I'm assuming everyone will be in the same boat as you & I'm sure they'll be nervous too!

Oh you poor little sausage, I really feel for you, there's nothing worse than one of those 'team building charade type exercise or presentation thingies :(

I often wonder how useful it all is as all it does is scare the pants off some people. I am lucky in that it has never bothered me but I do find that if you make sure you really know your subject matter and daft as it may seem practice at home in front of the mirror speaking as loudly and clearly and steadily as you can, even enlist the help of any family members, make them listen to you, and as you're likely to have work mates in the same boat why not all gather together and speak out loud to one another. You'll probably find that half of them are 'pooing' bricks too.

Another hint, when you come to make your 'speech' focus your eyes on a point on a wall opposite you (just above the eye line of the audience) and 'talk' to that point.

The problem with taking the day off is what happens if they reschedule your 'talk', then you've got all the stomach turning worry all over again.

Try not to worry and lose sleep for the next few days, grab the monster by the horns and practice as much as you can.
Hope that helps :) :)

Poor thing, get some Rescue Remedy to dose youself with on the day, try a not speak too fast, remember to BREATH!!! and talk to the spot on the wall.
Chris

You could have at least given us two weeks to get you sorted. :-D

Deep breathe and calm down, you are literally building yourself up into a panic stricken frenzy here before you even get to the 'meeting' your likely to pass out at this rate. :-)

Not everyone is good at public speaking and many don't enjoy it, you are not alone, and if you believe you are the only one nervous think again, you can bet your life others are just as worried. I've taken meetings for years and believe me, if your not a little nervous then you must be dead. :-)

Nervousness comes from over thinking, you need to distract yourself. You can rehearse what you wish to say at home, go over and over it the day before, don't even think about it until then, breathe and do not rush. If you are likely to blank, (which can often happen) just write down a few key words to remind yourself of what you wish to say.

If your voice shakes it is because you are not breathing properly and you are thinking too much, relax yourself and concentrate only on your words and nothing else in the room. Best of all if you can do your speech first try to do that too.

Most of all, you can do this! Your telling yourself that you can't, that's not true, you can speak, your inflicting negativitiy on yourself when you don't need to.

Best advice get a book on yoga or self relaxation to teach yourself how to be calm.

And if all else fails, (probably get my hand slapped for this :-D) have a stiff drink before you go in to relax yourself if you can't do it any other way.

When it is all over (in a few minutes time, you know it! :-D ) you'll wonder what all the fuss was about, and if you fluff up, just laugh, no-one else will care, they are all too bothered about their own speech.

Don't see this as torture, but as a way to show your opinion and be noticed in a good way. :-)

And don't you dare run and hide, just get it over with, it may not be anything as bad as your thinking, you've already thought the worse, so it can only be better. :-)

Thanks everyone for all your supportive words!!!

It means a lot to me, i am just literally pooing this brick already ha ha, not hardly spoke since i came back in after finding out ha ha

Basically (its not even that big, about 2 minutes tops!!) i have to write down where i have had good or bad customer service with other companies... 3 points and i have to fill in this sheet we did (i feel like i am back at school!!) and then discuss it in the group meeting thingy on Friday!!

I have already thought about my points and wrote them down, but the thought of speaking in front of everyone paralises me!

We will probably be sat in a big circle, so i cant even speak to a dot on the wall as i will look stupid lol!!

I work myself up so much and when i do it i get worse!! I happens to me all the time, i get so nervous and cant even speak at times, i hate it!! Even with my collegues in the office i stuggle to speak to them all at once, as i have more than 2 eyes on me, it makes me go red and i go shaky!! Cant even control it!!

My gosh, i am doing it again, sorry! Thank you for your kind words everyone :)

Beta blockers !! :-)

Sorry I can't really offer any advice as I am exactly the same as you.  When we want promotion or even go for another job at the same level at work we have to do a 15 minute presentation.  They give you the topic of your presentation and then you are given an hour to prepare (choice of using powerpoint or without any aids), then you are grilled on it for about another 20 minutes after it, and that's just part of a day's long interview.  I always end up "ermmming or repeating myself or saying my sentences back to front.  So I do really feel for you.  

As part of our PDP's this year we each out of our department have to present to the whole Factory and Office at some point this year, I am already worrying about it now. 

When I first joined where I work, I did do a presentation skills course (3 day course), this was horrific as everything was videoed (I've still got it in the drawer under the telly unopened.

Jane

I did a course at college where part of the communications bit was to make a speach to our class mates. I was terrified Even though I knew everyone there. We were told by the Lecturer to try to make a joke at the beginning. It helps everyone in the room laugh and relax. So, if you have a really good thing that happened turn it into something funny before going on about the bad bit. Or vice versa. It really helped me. :-)

Just imagine your audience are all naked!!!

Reading this makes me realise how invaluable what my daughter does at school with ESB and drama things. Also at St John ambulance cadets they have to speak in front of others at times. I dont remember my boys doing anything just the ESB.
I am supposing they are all confidence boosting and what she will need in the years to come.

Karen :)

I used to have to stand up and speak in a large room / hall 2 or 3 times a month publicly in front of up 100+, and I loved it.  First few times were a bit shaky but I used to find one person and make eye contact with them and speak to them, or if they broke contact look just above there head, made it so much easier to ignore everyone else around.  If you were speaking in a large area always remember that those behind cannot hear you and learn to project (not shout) your voice as well. 

Stewarding at dog shows is a great place to practise. LOL

Joan

Practice what you want to say outloud a number of times at home.  You can then see if you can say it all comfortably  - running through it in you head isn't enough, as you won't know what words you may stumble on, pracctice , practice, practice & you will be fine :-)

feel so sorry for you I know exactly how you feel, google social phobia it is a well known condition and this is one way it manifests itself. I have actually started telling people how hard (impossible) I find it and just dont do it. If you are lumbered I find 1. one of the natural remedies containing valerian etc really helps ie kalms, quiet life. 2. rescue remedy  3. paul mckennas confidence book and cd really helps in a short time.
hugs
Emma

I had to ask advice for the same on this board last year.  I was terrified, however I actually enjoyed it!! I never woould have thought I would have said that ever.  I had key words on a bit of paper, although I knew more or less what I wa going to say. and I also knew that I knew what I was talking about, if I made a mistake no one would have known.  they say never work with animals, I did and she was a star also, I told myself that folk were more interested in the dog than me, it helped

Gosh Yorkies, I really feel for you.  When I recently started my present job I had to stand up in front of everyone and talk about myself.  Knees were shaking, voice was shaking, I thought I was going to faint.  I hadn't anticipated it so had no time to prepare and in my panic put my foot in my mouth, the trainer stood up first to start the ball rolling and then just picked me to go next. I was so horrified that I just blurted out with, 'well, I can't talk as much as that!' (didn't go down too well).

Anyway, I have done a lot better than that when I've known in advance that I had to do it so here are some tips:-

1) Aim to speak a lot slower than normal as nerves can make you talk too fast.

2) Have cue cards for the main points you need to make, you don't have to worry about forgetting anything and they will give you something to grip on to and if you are like me soak up the sweat that suddenly pours from your hands.

3) If you are looking at a circle of people when you speak focus on just one friendly face and just pretend the others aren't there.

4) If several of you have to speak always ask to go first, you cannot avoid the stress of speaking but you can avoid the stress of a long anticipation.

Hope this all helps and remember that this is a fear that many people can relate to, you are not alone :)

(my Dad by the way loves public speaking and treats it like a hobby, must be a recessive gene LOL)

Hey yorkies! For me the absolute terror is a good sign :-)  It really helps me to perform.  On my zoology paper I was puking in the toilet ten minutes before, then I was the first one  out of the class.  Aced the paper and came top of the class, it was truly unexpected :-)  The demonstrator even had the cheek to ask who I'd slept with lol! 

Most importantly, BE YOURSELF, pretend you are just on this forum having a passionate discussion - customer service is a passionate subject of mine and I can go on about it until the cows come home (in all honestly I could probably talk about anything till the cows come home).  Fill out your paperwork, but perhaps write out another sheet of your own notes and observations - as has already been suggested like cue cards.  I think once you can think of something that you really feel passionately about then you will not have a problem - and don't be afraid to disagree with the group.  What bugs me is when I ask a member of staff a question and they are like "oh, not my department, sorry" and I'm left to try and find someone else.  When I was in customer service I made sure I knew everyone else in the store so that when I couldn't help the customer I could say "well I don't know the answer, but I know someone who does".  Sounds like they want some specific examples from you so I am sure you won't have a problem once you get on a roll :-)

Good luck! 

Thanks so much everyone, i am going to take a look in the shop i think to try and find something that can help calm my nerves, those Kalms i have taken before and dont seem to work, think i would have to take a whole bottle to have them work, then i would probably be unconcious and miss the speech! wooo!!

I am soo soo scared, when i was in school and we had to do presentations, i used to scieve the lesson, then my teacher made me do it in front of her because i wasnt in lesson and because she forced me to do it when i was petrified, i didnt do it and just sat there really upset, and she couldnt understand why, think that has scarred me a bit!

Going to take a look at it online thank you for that, and see what i can come up with, its got to help hasnt it! Its just my worst nightmare honestly!!

> Stewarding at dog shows is a great place to practise. LOL

I have done this before and i found this absolutly fine! I had another person with me as i was learning, however i have judged too and found that fine, you dont really have to speak all that much you see, however i know what you mean, dont think i could do it alone actually thinking about it, as i couldnt do the shouting bit at the end, my trainer did that for me ha ha, scared me too much! Oh gosh! See! lol :)

> 'well, I can't talk as much as that!' (didn't go down too well).
>

LOL that made me laugh!! Bet it wasnt funny at the time though! But i know what you mean, thats something i would say, and its nerves that make you say all these crazy things! I just cant literally even speak i get so scared and just shake! Its horrible and go bright red, which makes me worse because i am aware i am red and get concious of it...

Ohhh and lunamoona, we sometmies have to go on courses and things, this is kind of what this is in a way, and we have to introduce ourselves in front of everyone!! And the last one i was on, we had to talk to the person next to us, which was fine!! But then tell the whole group about the other person!!! I was so nervous and scared and wrote little down so i didnt have to say much... called an icebreaker apparently!! Not for me, its my worst nightmare!

>an icebreaker apparently!!

That's cos by the end everyone feels too sick to be nervous lol..

You might be interested in this book

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Feel-Fear-Anyway-Susan-Jeffers/dp/0712671056

It doesn't say how to combat your fears but explains how we can face them and cope better than we think, this then gives more confidence for the next time.  HTH :)

Ohhh thank you for that, i might take a look into that book because its only dead cheap on there anyway! lol

I read a link on social phobia earlier and it does sound like thats what i have, does anyone have any tips on how to get this cognitive behavioural therapy? I am deadly serious, would i go through my doctors?

Depending on the type of person you are i imagine it would be hard. Just focus on your breathing and what it is your talking about. Rememeber you are there because you know your stuff! :-) Keep telling yourself how wonderful you are and how you deserve to be there and that confidence wil come out when you're talking.
I work in a school and stand in classrooms in front of 30 students without fear. Also assemblies of 250. Cant say that was easy at first but do it now without a second thought.
I used to get red and flustered, sweat and fumble on my words, but now i can do it as normally as talking to a friend. Its just practise and patience.
Good luck!!!

So practise really does help then??

My friend wanted to become a teacher, but when she was at uni she really couldnt stand up in front of people, same as me, and so she decided a teacher was probably not the right career choice for her even though she would love to do it, she felt physically sick and couldnt face it

I guess i have never had that much practise, always ran away as it seems easier! It really is and i dont even care that i am running away as its something that doesnt bother me that i never acheieve as LONG as i never have to do it!! But at the moment i am finding i do have to do it, and thats what is frightning me a lot

Definatly practise helps.Dont forget you are talking, so havent got to worry about the questions and confrontation we teachers do!!! That can be tricky sometimes lol :-)

Good point but i went into admin to avoid all that sort of stuff, and now its coming back to haunt me! Goodness knows why, its a good company i guess but i would rather come into work, do my stuff, go home, end of!! Not speak in front of others, i dont mind the meetings, quite like them actually, but speaking in them is something i fear i will never enjoy nor warm to

First time I ever spoke in public I was convinced people could see my blouse moving in time with my thumping heart, LOL

Strangest thing was hearing your own voice out loud, I used to practise out loud and record it then play it back so I got used to the sound the words made.  Everyone finds there own way of getting through it and I'm sure once you have done it for the first time you will wonder what all the panic was for.  Got to admit the adrenalin rush is addictive.  Just like showing your dog, doesn't matter how often you are in the ring there is always going to be that moment when you get butterflys and jelly legs.  Stand up straight take a deep breath, find your prop go for it and enjoy the experience.

There is of course a down side to being able to address large numbers of people.

Whenever announcements are needed to our production staff on the factory floor I always get nominated, I'd like to think it's because of my clear diction and easy on the ear tones :)

They tell me it's because I don't even need the tannoy :(
Rotten lot!!

Lol Pinky!  We've got a girl at work fondly known as Foghorn Leghorn :-)

Mine is 'mega-mouth', all I can say is it's my parents fault!

Look slightly above the peoples heads.  It is easier when you are standing and the rest are sitting, but even sitting, you can do it.

Dont make direct eye contact with ANYONE.  Because part of human nature, is to try and read that person, and if you get a bad vibe, then you will start messing about with what you are saying. 

I used to be really scared, mainly because I wasnt popular at school, and so I was scared of what the popular kids thought of me, totally making my stomach knot thinking "OMG they are making fun of me!" 
But when I was with adults, in a school, it was a bit easier, since by then we have grown up a bit.  Are more mature.

Oh, and remember you arent the only one scared.  We think that we can be the only one who is nervous about speaking, even though logically we know we arent.  I bet there are more than just a couple people who will be in that room that are nervous about public speaking.

Just breathe, relax, and dont stare at your paper, or any other specific person.  Act like its a normal conversation that you would have with your Best Friend. 

Good luck!!!!!

Thank you everyone! I am just going to have to face the red ness in my face and get it over and done wtih, because at least when its done its done and over with, if i go red and get nervous, they might realise just how scared i get

When we have team meetings, i get so scared of speaking in front of others, luckily i dont have to most of the time, but sometimes i have to and i get so scared and its people i know! Others just talk, never go red and seem to look fine, whether or not inside they are churning i dont know, but they dont appear to be, not like me anyway!!

Well lets just say i popped 2 tablets before i went in!!! Well i had one in the morning and one 15 minutes before, it stopped my heart race beating and helped me control my nerves, hated every second of it

Now we gotta do it all again on 3rd Feb and also i gotta interview2-3 people before hand and i cant do that either, another nerve problem, just going to die i think i cant cope with this un needed stress!

Asked my collegue if we can sit down and talk about it to help me and we are sitting down on monday, so hopefully that will help me get it all into perspective... :(

Well done so far, like i said - it will get easier in time. You've got over the first hurdle though - well done!!!!x

Thanks, i dont think it will get easier though ha ha, but the tablets did sure help, without them i would of been so embarrased!

I've got a presentation and interview to do on Tuesday! So wish me luck too lol!  It's a job I've applied for and I actually know NOTHING so will be winging it.  Oh well.  It's in the afternoon which makes it worse, much rather do something like that in the morning.

And good luck to you for next time.  I've never interviewed anyone else before.

Well done on getting through it, even though you hated it, it is still a big acheivement and you can be proud of yourself. 

It's a good idea if you can discuss it with your work and maybe worth while looking at your contract to see if it's part of your job description. 

Interviewing can be hard but just remember that you are the one with the questions written down and the other poor person has to sqirm on the spot trying to think up answers, chances are thay will be feeling a lot worse than you :)

All the advice i can give you Granite, is too research the company really well and research a few questions online which are popular then you have prepared yourself that little bit more, it has helped me in the past with interviews a lot

Thank you for the luck,ill need it, its an interview regarding the service we provide, not interviewing someone for a job what i am doing, so makes it worse as its people i work with already lol xxx