My teenage daughter 'chanelle' has just been dumped by her boyfriend of a year.. she's 16.
Thinks its the end of the world... crying, wont eat, wont talk just cries (sounds like me when charlie went to the bridge )
Any idea's?
bless its a shame and i hate seeing her like this but do need to say thank god!

Thanks in advance

Donna x
(and charlie who is r.i.px)

It's very sad for her, but let's face it, if we all died of broken hearts when dumped by 1st boyfriend, there wouldn't be many of us posting now!

Although you are probably turning cartwheels at the end of the romance, do not, under any circumstances - yet - say "He wasn't good enough for you".    In a couple of weeks, maybe - but not yet!  

Just get her a big box of tissues, some choccies, and tell her that if she wants to talk about it, you're there for her - and if she doesn't want to talk about it, then that's fine as well.    Just don't tell her to snap out of it!

The sad thing for me was when they eventually broke up with the nice boyfriend/girlfriend that had become part of the family :(

Margot

Margot

Thanks for that, i did try tissue's and chocs earlier but she was having none of it.
Bless, she's usually a lovely placid girl but i saw a side that id nerver seen before...

I have resisted the urge to say he was no good, etc

Maybe she'll feel better in the morning...

Im trying hard to remember my first broken heart.. its so long ago now

Donna x
(and charliex)

Oh poor soul, I am dreading this happening to my own daughter, she's also 16 but has been with her first boyfriend for 5 months now and all seems well at the moment.
Think at this time they really need their mates, encourage her to call them and have a girlie night sleepover.  Just do the little special things for her at the moment, favourite meal, a new perfume, just little things to let her know you care and are aware of her pain, she'll bounce back soon especially when somone else shows an interest, just takes a little time.

Maybe encourage er to spend time with her female friends? get her to inviet them over for a film, chocolate etc, IMO much better then a parents! :D

I remember how I was after one boyfriend.  But I was happy to indulage in chocolate fondue!  Refused to eat dinner that night altough insisted on making it as I had planned to!

Sometimes space is what teenagers need, but with someone close by to talk to when ready! :)

I'm sure she will feel better in the morning and we all know within a few days she will be fine but until then just comfort her when/if she wants it :)

Have fun!

Hi,
We all go there!! the end of the world!! we all thought that.
Answer, go on a shopping spree with her, hair do, Tell her to
let him know what is is missing. Tell her she is beautiful, tell her,
she want beleve you now, but there is oviously someone very special
waiting to take his place. Just give her very positive feed back.
This just doesn't happen to girls it happens to boys as well.
That is even harder to try to support them, as a man is never seen to cry.
I have 5 daughters 1 son been there many times. But! just brush yourself down
top yourself up! start all over again!!
Regards
Denese

Oh Donna, I really feel for your daughter, young love is a strong emotion and she probably feels her world has collapsed and she'll never find anyone else she will love etc etc but she will and as soon as she does that's when you can tell her that he wasn't good enough for her (and not before)!

Just be there for her and tell her you love her.  She would probably prefer to talk to her friends than to Mum though so don't feel pushed out if she doesn't want to talk - we all know that Mum's have never experienced anything like this in their lives :rolleyes: 

It might take a couple of weeks or a couple of months but she will come out the other end being a stronger person for it - I know it's awful seeing your daughter upset but unfortunately that's life - there are not many of us that haven't been let down by love! 

Maria :)

We go through this with my son and his girlfriend every 2 months or so and then they get back together again! Each time seems as traumatic as the last. Young love--it's not easy is it?

Oh dear poor Chanelle.

I would let her stew for a few days as she listens to soppy tracks :) Then try and encourage her to get back to normal life and get on with things ! Has she got her GSCE's round the corner ?

Perhaps suggest a shopping trip at the weekend that should put a sparkle back in her eye ;) :D

Lucy
xx

I remember breaking up with my first boyfriend, made all the worse by him dumping me for my best friend :( mum never really liked him but bless her she kept quiet (well until a few weeks later), at the time I didn't want mum & dad pestering, just needed my friends to rally round & tell me he was no good etc etc.. So agree organising a sleep over with plenty of goodies & a good girly click (Devil Wears Prada or Pretty Woman..my fave) would be a excellent idea & also give you a good excuse to have a night out yourseleves! Everyone's happy...:)

I hope you're daughter feels better soon, in a few weeks he'll be a distant memory & she'll find someone new....

Must mention after the above idiot dumped me I got together with my current partner & we've been together for 10 blissful years now (& yes! before you mention it I am only 26!!!)

Oh Donna I feel for you too! My son who is almost 20 split with his girlfriend of 18 months around a month ago, he is heartbroken, my 6ft 4" rugby player sobbing and I mean sobbing, he didn't know what he would do without her, they were planning to relocate to Manchester as she had been accepted at uni there and it was all planned then out of the blue it's over!  They began arguing too much and decided to call it a day.  He is very slowly beginning to feel better and he's just splashed most of his side of the savings on a new car, which may help albeit temporarily, he enjoys driving around, he's also organising a lads holiday for later in the year! He's just broke now!  I liked her a lot and miss her in our lives but I'm also secretly pleased he's not moving away!!!  But I would never tell him that!  We know time heals and it will for chanelle and my alex but unil then we wait and just be there if they want to talk. x

It's probably just as well that it has finished now :) From my experience, a lot of relationships break up when one or other goes off to uni :) Life there is just so different from home and maintaining a relationship with a partner 'from home' is SO difficult :) Not much help for your son, I know, but better to happen now, than a year or two later - particularly if he was going to relocate as well :)

He'll get over it and he is still VERY young in terms of long-term relationships :)

Daisy

It's when the girls dad is more distraught than your daughter, that you have to worry. I have a friend whose a real Spaniel countryman. He can't sleep at night for heartbreak, and looks like he's crawled through a hedge backwards since his daughter and her long time boyfriend fell out. Poor guy, he feels that he's lost a great mate and I feel that he need counciling.

>From my experience, a lot of relationships break up when one or other goes off to uni

Half of my flat at uni strated with long-term partners, All 4 of us are still in the same relationship!  Doing well I think!

Oh dear, we've all been there haven't we?  And we all at the time think it is the end of our world, and at the time it is. As already said, there is nothing you can say, nothing you can do but be there to give her a hug and say your sorry.

I fell for the bad boy of our school, he took months chasing me, finally got me and then cheated on me I was devastated, my dad, friends and brothers were all wonderful, hankies and hugs all around.

My mum was away showing one of our dogs at the time, I phoned her up in tears and got a rather curt, " What are you crying for? He was no good, I thought you were strong like me!" Then changed the subject to talk of the dogs It snapped me out of it, nothing like someone taking no notice of you feeling sorry for yourself. :-D I thought my mum was horrible at the time, but she did bring me home a big bunch of flowers and said here these are from someone that really loves you. :-)

Buy your daughter a bunch of flowers and say the same, it made me feel special and loved and made me realise what a p---k the boy was.

Thank you all xx
She is doing... okish...
ive lost count the times she has asked me what i think.. should she phone him... should she text him.. etc etc
Her dad even said leave her off school ... she cant face it (he said)
Bless

I think she is coming to terms and has announced she wants to move bedrooms... wants to come to work with me tomorrow...
Still hasnt eaten much tho...

Yep Lucy she is taking exams very soon.... Needs some good grades to get her on the course she wants...

She fell asleep with the dog last night... poor saffie was drenched!

I'll keep you posted

Donna xx
(and charliex)

Aww bless her. I remember when my bf dumped me! Had to have a couple of days off school! I remember putting eveything about him in a box and sealing it up writing 'Never to be opened' on it and finding it a couple of years later and laughing. Its awful at the time but its all part of growing up! Hope she feels better soon.

The latest in the love affair... she says she's over him
He's got someone else....
GRRRR!

But its no good being with someone just for the sake of it....

chanelle will be fine when she gets to college... she'll meet her next victim

Thanks again all....

Donna x
(and charliex)

What she will remember from all this, in years to come, is how it hurt and how much love and understanding support she received from you and your husband. That she came through it so well is down to how you handled the situation. When something else hits her, she knows she can turn to you. We all need someone, and we also need to know that someone cares, and we can be open and honest about our feelings. :)

I was thinking along the same lines as you calmstorm, Chanelle seems to have a great relationship where she feels that she can talk to her Mum & Dad about how she is feeling and knows they are there for her

Good to see she's feeling better :)  Just wait untill the next boy who comes along....

Ice queen ,
You typed too soon!
Chanelle has another under her wing... she seems to thing 'this is the one' and the last one was a ... sorry cant say
So, yep she's moved on tears and tantrums over again.. for a while...
still... on a different note.. she has had her xfactor audition date come through
we'll see :)

Donna x
(and charlie of coursex)

Anyone watching 'Jackie' magazine on tv?  Young love, innocent teenage years............so long ago!

Definitely an easier era, when you could grow up more slowly.

oh i definately agree with JG I was walking the dogs along the river with 13 yr old daughter the other week and when we crossed the bridge I told her how during one of the 6 weeks summer hols when I was 14 (1976) I almost lived on that bridge and she looked shocked, I told her how one of the lads had an old row boat and we literally rowed up and down the river for six weeks recreating all kinds of action scenes and this combined with swimming in the river, yes I know no life jackets/risk assessment etc., but do I look back and have lovley memories of that time.  She looked at me and said 'mum if i suggested we get a boat and row up the river that would make me sooooo GAY!  I know times have changed and I wouldn't want her rowing up and down the river alone but I feel I grew up so much slower and had such fun on the way.

Good to know she's moved on!!!! :D LOL  Oh the days :D

Oooh and good luck with her audition :)