I was bullied by a work colleague for a prolonged period of time...mainly in the form of malicious allegations, and behaviour tantamount to stalking. My managers ignored my complaints, patted me on the head and said it wasnt important and that it was just a difference of opinion. It got worse, then the bully went off sick with severe mental illness. My managers then realised that all along what I had been saying was true and have accepted that it was bullying all along and that it was not my fault. Unfortunately the stress of it made me really ill and i have been having to take antidepressants. I have let my life fall to rack and ruin, let my home fall to pieces and found it difficult to give my dogs the attention they deserve. I have been just about managing to get to work as i feared that if i took time off sick i might fall into a total blob of doing zero.- i needed something to get me out of bed in a morning. Teh bully had time off and now they want to force me to work with her again. I have had a doctors assessment and a psychologist assessment, who said under no circumstances would it be safe for me to work with her again, as she made me so ill, and i cant ever trust her. Occ health say its not safe either and have recommended that she should be moved away. However personell say they have an obligation to her ( which seems to be more important than their obligation to me). The stress of worrying what they will do is reeally getting to me, and I am feeling more and more ill. I think about it all the time and I dont sleep. My union are trying to help but its all going very slow. Im not sure how much longer I can keep going and I am really scared I will have a complete nervous breakdown.

I dont know whether to go off sick ( and these days in the NHS a bad sick record means never getting another job). I could stick with it if she returns and risk going totally mad. I could stick with it despite the indecision, but thats already driving me mad.  I could leave, but there is no chance of another job in the current climate, so I would have to rehome my precious dogs, and lose my home because I have no other income. I have looked for other jobs to no avail.
I feel so trapped and unable to decide, and  I am terrified of making the wrong move. My union say if I made a financial claim against the employer, it would take years, so thats no help in the short term. My union have provided me with a solicitor.
I am totally distraught that after all this time (18 months) this mess is still going on and I cant put it behind me...Ive had counselling but as long as its still hanging over my head it doesnt help much.
I know its a tall order but has anyone any words of wisdom?

How awful for you but as

>My managers then realised that all along what I had been saying was true and have accepted that it was bullying all along and that it was not my fault.

Surely they have a duty of care to you, I do hope someone with more knowledge will be along with some constructive advice for you. Thinking of you.

This sounds awful Catherine.  I know it's difficult when you are feeling depressed but you really have to stick up for yourself here.  Apart from talking to your line manager and stressing that they have a duty to you, just because you did not take time of work do not let them think you have been unscathed, I think you have to push your union to get on with sorting this out for you.  I feel they hold the key for getting you the best possible outcome.

>Occ health say its not safe either and have recommended that she should be moved away

I would have thought any company would be on thin ice if they  ignored the advice of OH. I agree push your Union, thats what they're there for, Ooooh I do wish I could be of more help. I loathe bullies of any kind

Catherine, I have sent you an e-mail, I used to be a senior Nurse in the NHS and have experience of dealing with Bullies, all the best, love Dawn

I really feel for you, i have recently handed in my notice to a company i worked for for 3 years, as i felt victimised by a colleague. It got to the point where i was in tears and dreading work. We had no union and speaking to people got me no where, but you have a union, so use them to fight your corner. Leaving the company has lifted a huge weight of my shoulders but you shouldn't have too. I do hope you get things sorted and completely sympathise with your situation.

I don't have any advice but just wanted to send you some good luck and support. What a horrible situation.

Lindsay
x

So sorry to hear this, sounds like your union is as bad as ours on the NHS in Manchester!

I'm sorry, I don't have any constructive advice.  I just wanted to wish you all the best. 
As the others have said, push your union.

I detest bullies, and find this kind of thing so upsetting. 

Please try and hold your head up high, you're the better person here.

Best wishes,

What an awful situation .  Like others have said push your union.  Your employers may have a duty of care to this bully, but equally they also have a duty of care to you.  I would think they are treading very dangerously if they are going against OH and also given the fact it is in the hands of the union and you have had medical assesments done.  I wish you all the best, take care.

Michelle x

What an awful situation. I hope it can resolved in such a way that you don't have to work with this person. The only advice I can think of is to relay what I would do if this happened to me. I have found that most bullies back down right away if a person stands up to them. If you have to work with her it might make you feel better, stronger and more confident to have a quiet word with her. Not confrontational, or emotional, just professional and controlled along the line of "things are different now and the bullying stops here and now. You will not put up with her crap anymore." Then quietly walk away while you are in control of situation. Then just ignore her. Everyone knows she has problems now, let her talk - who cares. She's meaningless. I was very easy to intimidate and bully when I was younger but it would be impossible now. That has been down to some hard lessons and building some self-confidence.

Is there any chance that personnel can ask her to have counselling to help her stop these actions. If she has been off for mental illness it could certainly be seen to be supportive of her while it might also help you.

I wish you all the best.

This link & this one may be of use to you. I was bullied & harassed in my job for many years my problem was that it was my line managers(there is a culture of bullying within the organisation from the top downwards !)that were the culprits & the rest of the management team were too cowardly to do anything or gainsay the bullies

I would put your feelings in a letter to the most senior manager or preferably a director that you have access to. Deliver it by hand or registered post.

Keep it professional, stick to the facts and name the professional people that have recommended you no longer work with this person. Make sure it is dated and keep a copy in a safe place.  Try and word the ending so they have to reply to you.

It may not help at this time, but if things go pear shape and you have to leave, it will give you a very strong case at an employment tribunal.

I think your solicitor is the best bet to get this resolved. Are they specialist in employment law if not then I suggest you ask for one that is :)

I think as well maybe sometime off to re group and take sometime to get your strength back up, it will do you the power of good :) Can you book a holiday somewhere and take the dogs so you can spend some quality time with them :)

I think you may have been trying too hard to keep going when you should be looking after yourself ;)

Lucy
xx

Thankyou to everyone for your thoughts and advice. I am afraid that I am not able to approach the girl in person for mediation,as she refuses to accept she did anything wrong....and because mental illness is the background, rational conversation and mediation have always been unsuccessful, and resulted in further violence. Occ health have strongly advised against trying this again. I have had a meeting with my union rep today...fortunately they have allocated me a very senior one and he travelled up from London from head office.  I also get free legal representation. He was very supportive and practical. He got me to give him all of my emails, correspondence and statements, which fortunately I had kept. He feels we have a strong case, and is going to meet with HR for me. We are hoping that as he is so high up in the Union that his involvement will make them take me more seriously than they have thus far. His plan is to show them how much evidence we have, and make it clear that if they ignore the risk assessment I shall take a full formal grievance against them and it will go to tribunal. He also will point out that if it goes to tribunal it gets in the papers, and it would look pretty bad that they allowed a completely deranged person to treat sick people for 12 months.He has also suggested that I report her to our governing body.....as they could strike her off the register for her behaviour, mental illness or not.Then they could not possibly continue to employ her. He  also recognises that there have been financial consequences to me ( counselling fees, prescription costs, loss of overtime etc) and we have decided to submit a personal injury claim, and he feels that I should be successful in that. It may take a while, but at least I should get back what I had to spend and a lttle bit more. He is going to calculate enough to get the house and garden sorted to a level where I can cope with it again. As far as work goes I have taken tomorrow and Friday off as leave, and if I dont feel well enough on Monday I shall see the doc and get signed off indefinitely until the thing is sorted. I wont be able to take a holiday as i dont have any money, but i will try and chill at home.
Ill keep you posted.

He also will point out that if it goes to tribunal it gets in the papers, and it would look pretty bad that they allowed a completely deranged person to treat sick people for 12 months.

I must say I thought of this too, although I wasn't quite sure if she was actually working with patients or what.

I hope you manage to get matters in hand and please do keep up posted! :)

Lindsay
x

This all sounds much more positive :)

That's sounds the way to go Best of luck & keep us updated

Yep keep your chin up :)

Well done, I hope this all works out well for you, as you have obviously had more than enough to stand for with this awful person. Enjoy any time you have off, you need it to collect your thoughts and your strength. Sending my very best wishes.

I am so sorry to hear all of this but I want to say i think you are really doing the right thing by not letting this go,I was bullied by an employer for 12 months,the final straw was when my father died,I took 2 days off work only,the day I went back to say the date I had arranged for his funeral ,i was told this was unnacceptable,and was told to change it,this was the day I walked out.
When I look back I always regret not taking a stand,but I do know that the girl who took my job,after only 4 months, took her to court for bullying and she was awarded 7 grand,so at least someone got thier own back.

I really hope you find some peace of mind with the strengh of your union behind you,and being with your dogs brings calm and happiness into your life,I know mine are the best therapy i ever had,

Love Ash.

Well done as you have taken a positive step and hope it continues

Have a good few days off and make sure you are ok to go back if not then get to the Docs ;)

Take Care

Lucy
xx

I can't say anymore than has been said apart from don't let anyone break you!  Your life and soul have the same value as everyone else's and no-one can break you unless you give in, fall to your knees and wallow in self pity.  Hold your head up, and get back up on your feet, and tell yourself what a wonderful person you are, in the end you will win, persevere and believe in yourself.

Everyone here is behind you and at your side! The good always win..........in the end.  And the fight always makes us stronger.

P.S. I speak from experience, can't go into too much detail, but I once had a boss with a 'mental problem', he made every girl cry and broke them all down, for some reason (not because I'm brave) he could not break me, I never feared him, I tried to reason with him and even felt sorry for him, but I protected the other girls, I was only a supervisor at the time, but I took my complaints to the top over everyones head, did everything I could, no-one took it seriously.  Until one day he was arrested, he was actually quite a sicko in reality when everything came out, his parting words to me were that he respected me because he could never make me cry. (Lucky me!)

When I thought about things later, I realised that I was not afraid and could not be broken like the others because I was brought up by parents who treated me as an equal, so could not bow down to anyone and feel a lesser person, although I have no problem with authority, I never feel unequal to anyone else, so bad behaviour towards me I don't accept.

This is how you can win this, this lady has a problem and no right to abuse you, believe that and you can not be hurt mentally by anyone.

You will win this case.

Good for you the managers are normally the worst, and it sometimes becomes a dominance thing. With my grievance i had to go to the head office after i had left as it was still on my mind. Especially where i worked if you were in with managers supervisers, team leaders etc you were ok but if not you lost out. Really bad place to work and it was a huge company all over the country. It's still going on as i keep in touch with a lady who is still there.

Very glad to hear you are getting such good support now - do hope everything works out well.  Really annoys me that companies are inclined to sweep this sort of thing under the carpet if they can get away with it, regardless of the dreadful effects on people's lives.  I personally feel they shouldn't be taking the other person back if she refuses to accept she did anything wrong.

I'm so glad you are finally getting what sounds like the right kind of help. Sending lots of positive happy thoughts your way that this will all be sorted quickly.