(What the dog training manuals will never tell you)

1.   Pour cold apple juice on the carpet in several places and walk around barefoot in the dark.

2.   Wear a sock to work that has toes shredded by a blender.

3.   Immeadiatly upon waking, rush outside in your pyjamas in the rain and the dark and say several times "Be a good puppy, go potty now - hurry up - come on lets go!"

4.   Cover all your best suits with dog hair,  Dark suits must use white hair, and light suits must use dark hair. Also float some fur in your first cup of coffee in the morning.

5.   Play "Catch" with a wet tennis ball.

6.   Run out in the rain in your bare feet to shut the gate.

7.   Tip over a basket of clean laundry, scatter clothing all over the floor.

8.   Leave your underwear on the living room floor, because thats where the dog will drag it anyway. (Especially when you have company)

9.   Jump out of your chair shortly before the end of your favourite TV Programme and run to the door shouting "No No! Do that OUTSIDE!"  Be sure to miss the end of the programme.

10.  Put a little heap of chocolate pudding on the carpet in the morning, and don't try and clean it up until you return home from work in the evening.

11.  Gouge the legs of the dining room table several times with a screwdriver - they are going to get chewed anyway.

12.  Take a warm and cuddly blanket out of the dryer and immeadiatly wrap it round yourself.  This is the feeling you will get when your puppy falls aleep on your lap.

LOL!!! Excellent!

Ahhh that is soooo funny and so cute :d

:rolleyes:

Dogless member here.....please.....love to have to do all that

Tanya:rolleyes:

You forgot the best one of all.

Getting your face washed in the morning.

All the lovely paw marks when its been wet and dog has been digging in the garden.

Not being able to wear good clothes as pups love trying to scratch trousers etc and leave "pull marks".

Pups rolling in "poo" and smelling and stinking the house out at the same time.

When they "fart" and the aroma wafts round everyone.

You come home and discover you forgot to close the bathroom door and the loo roll is everywhere, or, the newspaper and mail has been shredded.

Ahhhhh! what would we do without them, bless their little paws.

Great stuff! :D

And then there's go into the wardrobe, take out and chew your best boots. It saves terrible disappointments later.

When at home, don't bother with "smart casual". Instead, go out and get several pairs of jeans as muddy as possible. Muddy bedroom slippers, unbrushed hair and the top half of your pyjamas complete this look to perfection.

And if you have a coal fire throw the ash over the carpet and rub it in. Leave it until you return home to clear up, bringing a friend home with you. Wait a day or two and then empty the coal scuttle over the carpet and leave it until you get home from work. Yes, this has happened to me this week ;)

throw up on the couch!

(yep- flo left a lovely treat for me.... :0)

chew up the book you have on the bedside table, saves the puppy doing it and you wont have time (or energy) to read it anyway!!!!!!!

Thats a good one to give to potential puppy buyers

Oh yes - dont forget to tip the containts of the bin out (this is best done when the bin has oil /beetroot in it) drag everything around the house a few times  then dig it into the sofa / hide it under the carpet.

But looking at them now curled up on my coat its worth every minute

Oh it's all so, so true!
Don't forget, if you have children, shred their v. important school homework book and chew up their fave toy's.
if you have £2,000 in your handbag because you are going to put a deposit on your new car, throw that around the living room and eat £60 pounds of it too!!
But most of all, don't forget to smile!

LOL that is all so true! :-D 
Don't forget to dig some holes in your garden, turn all the grass into mud, pull up some plants and scatter them around the garden!
But looking at them now curled up on the sofa sleeping soundly, I wouldn't be without them- little darlings!!!!