Don't know if this thread will attract any comment but is anyone else aware of this phenomenon?  Where a
quiet, unassertive woman has a large, vocal and/or aggressive dog which she 'can't do anything with' but fails to do anything about - even take advice?

This is prompted by frustration with a neighbour of ours who turned up at our door in floods of tears telling my husband that her partner is making her get rid of their 2 yr old male SBT, Hugo.  She has often complained to me about Hugo's boisterous and unsocial behaviour but ignored all my advice (talk to the vet, ask about castration, what about formal training? etc.).  She came round today for a shoulder to cry on because, having consistently attacked her adult son to the point where he will no longer visit, Hugo has now seriously bitten her partner and he' s had enough.  She was waiting for the RSPCA to collect him and - presumably - euthanase him.  Poor bloody Hugo.

However this isn't the first time I've come across women in this situation. It's almost as if having a large aggressive male (always dogs, never bitches) about the place but which never attacks them gives them some kind of satisfaction, somewhat similar to those women who marry lifers - 'This big, dangerous male belongs to me. I bet you're all terrified (but he'll never hurt me)'. 

Or then again, maybe I'm just choking on my own ineffectiveness in this case.

   

I know a few like that myself :(  Poor Hugo :( Don't go blaming yourself, some people just won't/don't listen

Dee

I think you will find its the effect that person has on the dog, they arent dominant/strong willed enough so the dog thinks they are in charge :rolleyes:

we have one!!!!

a tiny little frail OLD lady with the biggest black staff ive ever seen.(biggest most powerful head & widest jaws!) holds on to lead with both hands

fortunatly she crosses the road if she sees me, well it saves me crossing!!!!

they used to have a lab, that was aggressive too. her frail little ole hubby used to have to walk that one WITH A STICK. he needed the stick to balance & to hit the dog with if it got agressive. havent seen her hubby for ages, dunno what happened to the lab :rolleyes:

Years ago when my lab cross Sophie and I attended training classes there was this absolutely TINY woman with the most enormous black hairy hound! He was a lovely friendly loon but absolutely out of control and used to literally drag her round and round the village hall. Usually on her back! She was always squeaking on about "I can't do a thing with him" and she was absolutely spot on.

Poor Hugo though. He deserved better from the sounds of it.

Hi, Absolutely nothing wrong with a frail, or unassertive woman having a large dog as her companion, there are plenty of men who also do the same, who also can not handle their dogs. The problem here yet AGAIN is a dog owner believing that a dog will train itself, this is a vast, vast problem from pups to adult dogs, people really think they learn how to walk on lead, pee outside, and socialise all without human training.  I'm afraid we shall all continue to see this type of thing going on forever and a day.  I'm afraid it tickles me seeing a man or woman being dragged across a field by a dog they have no idea how to handle, but it is very sad for the dogs, who probably end up in rescues.

Sorry Lyssa, but I think there's more to it than that.  Neighbour came round this morning to talk to me.  Her distress is genuine BUT, as the history unfolds. it seems quite a predicable story.  Hugo was a very dominant, protective and intact male (3 not 2) who would attack any other male who came near her and would even bite her if she 'got out of line' though never as seriously as others.  He would try and prevent her leaving the house and she and her partner could have no bodily contact in his presence.  Everyone advised her to consider castration and formal training but she 'just couldn't' - preferring to live in virtual isolation from family and friends and putting her 11 year relationship at risk. 

Why?  It's not as though poor Hugo was happy either.  He could never run free, receive affection or just socialise with other dogs or humans. She has spent the last hour, tears pouring down her face, saying how much she was devoted to him - but couldn't explain why she didn't do anything to solve the problems.  B'ham Dogs Home have said it's very unlikely he will be rehomed as they still haven't been able to approach him for assessment. She hinted strongly that 'someone who knew about dogs' could still help but I made it quite clear that having Hugo in a household with two other dogs would be dangerous for all concerned. She then all but asked if she could have my little Staffy X bitch because she has such a big hole in her life!

To me this is another case of a dog being used by someone to work out deeper issues - few dogs can be up to the job but tragically, they pay the ultimate price for their failure.

Rant over.

My goodness, what a mixed up young lady! It is going to be damned hard work to re-train this dog, what on earth did she think she was doing??? I'd tell your bitch to run and hide when she sees her coming, but typical of someone to want a well trained dog which they don't need to bother to train themselves.  Poor, poor Hugo, he could have been a completely different dog if he had started off with a different owner, it's very sad.  As you say this lady sure has some issues of her own to sort out, her husband and son sound to have put up with a lot more than most too. I admire you for not letting rip at her yourself, I think I would not be so restrained.  Continue to rant, you need to de-stress.