I have just returned from the shop with  my 3 year old son.Whilst we were browsing my son shouted very loudly ''Mum,look at that man,he's got his head on upside down'', I turned to see an older gentleman with a beard and a bald head! I quickly told Liam to sshhhhhhh and ushered him away with my face crimson.I didn't know what to say to the man so just smiled and shot off.To make matters worse,as we were at the checkout, Liam decided to tell anyone who would listen that there is a man shopping in somerfield with his head on upside down.I had to quietly explain and get out of there as quick as poss!
One of these days he will get me shot for some of the things he comes out with. :D

Do any of yours ever make you wish the ground would open up and swallow you both up?
Wouldn't be without them though.  :D

The funniest thing my daughter did was when I was having a lovely conversation with someone I didn't really know at my house and my (then) 3 year old shouted down

"Mum, come and have a look at my big poo!"

I could have died!!!

Still makes me laugh now!!!

when my son was 10 he over heard me and a friend talking about her not being able to have children because she jad no womb...he looked up and asked her if she had no womb for a baby then why dosent she move to a bigger house ........doh womb not ROOM :)

:D :D They're great aren't they?

It was about this time of year I was shopping and walked out of Woolies pushing the buggy with my 3 year old in and met my friend.  My friend bent down to my daughter and said "ooh what have you got?"  I looked over and saw her holding a toy that she must have yanked off the shelf as we were walking through.  I nearly died, I quickly turned around walked back into Woolies, past the security guard who I had walked past 2 minutes before, calmly took the toy from my daughter and put it back on the shelf. phew :rolleyes:

Yes they would get you shot :D

When i was pregnant with my daughter i suffered from lightheadedness.

Any way in Tesco one day, in the early weeks before i was showing, i felt really faint and thought i'd have to leave my shopping to another day and just pay for what i had. At the checkout in the queue it got worse and i had to sit on the floor, a frail old lady even asked if she cold get me a chair!! :O:

When i got to the till the woman on the checkout offered to get someone to pack for me and got me a chair. ( i must have looked dreadful cos she asked before i said i was pregnant! :rolleyes: )

So ,there i am on a chair at the end of the checkout on a busy tuesday morning feeling ill and embarrassed in equal measures, when i finished the cup of water one of the staff had given me. My little angel (my son who was 2 1/2!) pipes up in that LOUD voice children have .....

"Mummy's DRUNK!"

He meant mummy had drunk her drink!!

Imagine all the people in the shop turning to look at the terrible mother drunk at 11am with the tesco staff packing her shopping and bringing the slip for her to sign! I can hear the old ladies tutting to this day!

If i had the strength i would have throttled him!!! :D

*exit me v.red in the face, saying to everyone i could, "i;'m pregnant"*

ROFL - I can just picture the scene!  How embarrassing for you!

all this talk reminds me of the day we went throu McD's drive throu with our 2 boys (aged approx 2 and 5 at the time)
OH and i had been talking about clothes sizes and how the average is now bigger than it used to be, OH commented on how boobs seemed bigger these days too ( typical male :rolleyes:).
Anyway we get to the window to order and a nice young girl was sat there waiting to take our order, when all of a sudden the eldest shouts from the back seat " Dad wheres that girls boobies then!"
I disappeared into a giggling heap in the footwell while poor "dad" had to order the food, he was driving :D

>saying to everyone i could, "i;'m pregnant

So then they thought drunk AND pregnant :D

PMSL!!!!!!

Never thought of that! OMG!

i still shop in there!!

feeling rather red just thinking about it!

BTW what does PMSL mean????

i'm not good on these, even after lots of reading personal ads.

Only for something to do,....... i've got an OH,.......... we're happy, .................. i'll quit whilst i'm ahead i think!

( you see i don't need my children to embarass me, i do a perfectley good job myself!)

Have PMd you about "PMSL".

Sarah.

Oh my god you guys are funny!!!! :) . I nearly fell of my chair laughing. Now I know what can expect when I decide it's time to have a baby ;) ......

Oh this is probably only a drop in the ocean to what you'll experience when you have your own. :D

They do make you laugh. :)

One time my daughter who was only about 20 months old at the time dropped her lolly on the carpet and as she was about to put it back in her mouth I said 'urgh,dont love its covered in dog hairs'.
The next time me and her went for a bath I had just got undressed, when she turned, looked at me naked and said 'urgh dog hairs!' I was hysterical laughing but, her grandma wasn't on her next visit when she asked her if she had any doghairs and I had to explain what she meant.

OMG - so funny!!!!! LOL!!!!!!

About two years ago I had my two little ones in a shopping trolley at Tesco,  I was walking down the yogurt isle when my youngest shouted "Ha Mum Mum look at that woman shes got dogs legs" I glanced round & saw a woman with really furry white long boots on I quickly tried to get off the isle, my little girl joined in "oh yes Mummy quick look she has got dogs legs" I tried to hush them but the more I did the louder they got! I just smiled at the woman & raced off leaving her bright red, but of course every isle I went on next she was there.
I bet she has'nt worn the boots since!

ROFLMAO Waffy :-D :-D

When travelling to town on the bus, my son being about 4 at the time, he noticed a very small lady sitting a couple of seats in front of us.  He turned to me and said, 'is that a Red Dwarf mum'.  Obviously shouldn't have let him share my telly addictions at that time.

Lol! When my son was a toddler (hes 8 now) we went to OH's mates house and as soon as we walked in he said "Mum it stinks in ere", i knew his wife heard it but she didnt say anything, omg i was soo emarrassed! I did agree that her house stunk but as we get older we learn not to say what we think in certain situations. And another time, my cousin got married and videod the speeches at the reception, it wasnt til we saw it that we realised "my" son had shouted "d**k" to one of the kids he was playing with, he was only 3!! :D

My daughter was 3yo when a neighbour, an old lady, gave her a sweet and asked her for a kiss.  My daughter refused.

We were walking away -still within earshot - when my daughter told me she didn't want to kiss the lady "cos she had a scratchy moustache".

The same daughter went thru a stage where she loved Ryvita crispbreads - but I hate them cos they taste like cardboard.  She went to playschool one day, and they were discussing what they'd had for breakfast.  She told them that "Mummy gave me two slices of cardboard this morning."  

One of our friends is a vicar, a few years ago he moved to a new parish in Barnes (posh bit of London).  When he arrived they had a 'get together' to welcome him and his family, half way through this his four year old son wondered into the room muttering (quite loudly) "Shitshitshit....." :D

Lol good one :D

I won't go into the complicated marital history in any detail but while involved in motor racing I was invited to the sponsor's VIP tent at Silverstone. My youngest son then aged 6 was also invited to come along and I was having a pleasant conversation with some notable names in the sport when one of them asked whether my husband was the race driver or part of the crew. Before I had the chance to answer my youngest said - in a voice that could be heard across two counties - "Mum hasn't had ONE husband you know, she's had LOADS".  On giving him the "shut up now" stare he followed it up with "It's no good giving me that look Mum, you know you've been married four times".

Another thing my wonderful son did to embarrass me was similar to other poster whose child said the house stunk.

I had been teaching him about how we tidy up to keep the house nice when we went to visit a friend......
Sure enough, "Donnie, you need to tidy up, its REALLY messy in here and it stinks!"

It was was but even so.......!

*me, curl up and die*

:D

It was about ten years ago and i was at the checkout, in tescos.
my  six year old daughter shouted, referring to  the checkout operator,
'MAM, WHY HAS THAT LADY GOT A BEARD LIKE DADDIES ' she was in her fifties,
and bless her, when i said to my daughter 'you mustn't say thing like that out aloud'
the checkout op said it's OK I'm used to it, i have a medical condition. i was thinking,
please god make a hole so that could disappear
Kids who would have them :)

OMG I have tears falling down my cheeks.

When my daughter was about 6 or 7 she went through a stage of always playing with her brothers action man, and we was on the bus heading home when Sherrie-lee shouted all over ther bus and held up an action man minus clothes and said "Look mum, action man is donig the Full Monty"

This next one is not something that enbarassed me but it cracked me up.

When my kids were small I think Sherrie-lee was about 2 and Stevie was 4, I was getting them ready for their bath, and Stevie was ready whilst I was getting sherrie's nappy off and when I had done, she went over to Stevie and bent down and prodded his willy. I said Sherrie come away and stop it, leave stevie's willy alone. She said "Why does he have one" so I told her "because boys have a willy to do their wee wee's from and girls don't" to which she replied with "I have one too" "No you don't your a girl" " I do" she said so I said "Where is it then" (thinking she would look down and see she didn't have one) but nooo........She lifted a leg and pointed to her privates and said "Its hiding".

Still cracks me up thinking about it.

ROFLMAO Ioxia :-D :-D

I was on a Bus with my  3 year God Daughter and A Man got on the Buss, she said at the Top of her Voice that man has a Penis and his Mother has a Penis Toooooooo.
everyone laughed and He said that Maybe he should go home and talk to his Dad.Ha Ha.

When my children were young we went into B&Q looking at bathroom suites, Kylye was around 3 years old and said she needed the loo, I said just a min and I will take you, then she chirps up "it's ok mummy I have used that one over there.

I had to scrabble in my handbag for some wet wipes and doggy poo bags to try and remove the evidence before anyone saw use, as I though, when I turned round she was announcing to all that she had done poo in that loo over there, she was very proud that she had not soiled her knickers and we had quite an audiance.

Every had a time when you wanted the earth to open up and swollow you up