Hi there, we have a beautiful Boxer who is 10 months. My partner and I are splitting up and the one thing we are arguing about is our beautiful Boxer.

We both want her, but the thing is, my partner never walks her, I do. Has never taken her training, I do. Never feeds her! I do. Never worms or front lines her (wouldn't know when or how to do it! etc) Infact my partner never does anything yet he wants her.

How can I make him realise that she is better off with me. I work part time, where he is out of the house for 12 hours a day.

I have a feeling he isn't thinking of whats best for our beautiful boxer, but thinking how much he can hurt me.

Please could someone help me make him realise! I love her so much, and know she is better off with me. She would lead such a bad life with him, and I know if he has her I couldn't stop worrying.

What can I do??

Many thanks....

She'd definitely be better off with you :) from a welfare angle as you know.

I hope you keep her, for her sake.

Lindsay
x

Perhaps point out the pitfalls of a Boxer on their own in a house...
Boxers need company...if they are left to their own devices they will start to destroy
the house...
Then of course there is the potential neighbour problems with pup barking as it's lonely...

If it's you that does everything for her, who's name is on the microchip document? the KC registration papers etc?
If it's just your name you may be able to claim she's yours anyway but not sure on the legal issues involved.

It's obvious from what you describe that your situation is better for pup...

If she's registered in your name then there is very little he can do.

Do bear in mind that if you are supporting yourself you may need to work full time and therefore a 'shared parenting' arrangement may be beneficial if you could, perhaps in the future, work out something amicable.

It could be in your best interests to have an alternative carer for your dog to allow you to spend some free time without worrying too much about him.  I understand that this might be difficult at this stage in your break-up but would be an ideal situation if looking to the future.

Good luck.

Been there, done that. I ended up leaving the dog in the end, but I must say that my ex loved him as much as I did and never would have neglected, hit or abused him (he saved  that treatment for me). I had several people watching and reporting to me for several years afterwards, so if he'd been neglecting the dog I'd have known and taken action. He was trying to use the dog to emotionally blackmail me to stay with him, but I wasn't having it - I'd have never been shut of him and even the love of my dog wasn't worth being used as a punchbag. I missed the dog 100 times more than I ever missed the ex.

First if you have any papers at all which clearly show the dog is in your ownership, give them without his knowledge immediately to somebody for safe keeping.

Who is leaving the house? Him or you?

hi.  without seeming to nosy,  can i ask where you'll be living?
and is it ok for you to take her with u, [if its u whos leaving]
was the dog a gift for you by your partner?  if so can you not give him the money back that he paid for her??  might make him feel better????   money is often a good persuader!!!!!!!!
its obvious that hes just being mean, knowing full well that she means so much to u.  if niether one of you has proof of owner ship beware - cos if things get messy as they sometimes do in break ups - he cud sell her on without your knowledge just to spite u. unfortunately this happened to a friend of mine, and she couldn't do a thing about it!!!
dont mean to be a scaremonger but people do do terrible things to spite others especially in break ups!
try offering him money anyway its worth a try. or try acting like your not bothered, might work if hes just being spiteful or stubborn.
or try letting him do everything for her now, so he sees what its like to look after a dog PROPERLY full time!!
its a difficult one and must be very upseting for you.
good luck.x

Hi,

Firstly so sorry to hear about your break up, it is upsetting enough without arguing over your dog.

Your partner may or may not be doing this for spite, I am sure that you both love your dog. I think with a lot of partners/hubbies, even though you tell them what you do for an animal, and they may even watch you doing most of it, they really don't realise all the time and effort you put in, as they don't physically do it! And happily think "I can do that!"

I was worried sick at the thought of my husband looking after our dogs, and knew he would not do half the things that I do, but with instructions and when the need comes they surprising can (as I recently found out whilst in hospital) they just don't do it, as WE do it, why do they need to bother?

So yes, you do everything now, but if he did have your Boxer I am sure he would also cope.  I say this for one reason, many of my friends and associates have gone through divorces and 9 out of 10 especially with dogs (and once with a rabbit!) the hubby had the dog at weekends. I truly believe that the Boxer would be better off with you as the main carer, just your work routine is enough to convince any court of that. (If it had to go that far) But weekend or two days in the week for your partner to have the dog may be enough for him. Also is the dog registered in your name?  Don't worry either way, a court would rule in your favour, make sure that you stress this to your partner, but for now you should offer the olive branch. It is hard to think either way that one of you would not see your dog again, so for now you should both have access.

Hi, so sorry to hear your story. I have been in a similar situation but with 5 (yes 5 )rough collies!!
This was a few yrs back now and i didnt realise there were people around who would foster the dogs whilst you get your life sorted out.
This may or may not be something you need to do, im not sure, certainly from what you describe you sound like the most suitable candidate to keep the dog. Do explain to your ex how long a boxer is a puppy for...............they take an awful long time to mature!!! something sadly not everyone is aware of. This means a lot of work for whoever keeps her.