A Kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd foud a cat she asked was it dead or alive.Dead she was informed."How do you know?" she asked her pupil.Because I p****d in its ear and it didnt move",answered the child innocently."You did what?!? the teacher exclaimed in surprise."You know" explained the boy,"I leaned over and went psst and it didnt move".

Small boy sent to bed by his father.5 mins later "Da-ad" "what?" "i'm thirsty can you bring a drink of water?" "No you had your chance lights out?" 5 mins later "Daaaad" "what" "i'm thirsty" Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you no!" if you ask again,i'll have to spank you!!" 5 mins later "Daaaad" "WHAT" "When you come to in to spank me,can you bring a drink of water?" 

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LMAO  :D :D

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LOL so true :D :D