It looks like a close friend of mine and her husband are about to get divorced. She just wants half of the equity in the family home to allow her to buy somewhere else to live. Her husband is saying they need to employ a solicitor, so that everthing is 'split down the middle'. Surely if they can agree amicably to who has what etc there is no need to line a solicitors pockets........or am I being naive in my advice??

I thought I had an 'amicable' agreement with my ex that he would pay maintenance for our oldest until he left school - I even had something agreed in writing, and approved by my 'solicitor' - lovely, until he changed his mind and stopped paying - by then I'd convinced the CPA (or whatever it is called) that he was a suicide risk if they persude him, and there was nothing I could do - Big Dave supported my oldest son through school and three years aprenticeship......

One of my friends got a divorce for about £50, her and her other half agreed what they were entitled to, and so far things have gone ok, she has stayed in the house and her mother also has a house that her ex husband paid for, they agreed that he would get this back once her mother passes away.  It is a big risk and you have to think that although your friend and her soon to be ex husband may be on good terms now things may change in the future, I suppose getting a solicitor involved would give your friend peace of mind

My Ex husband and I divorced each other amicably without solicitors and back then (over 16 years ago) it only cost a few pounds.  There is nothing difficult involved and if you both agree on what you want, then I would recommend doing it yourselves.  You can do it even if children are involved.  With regards to things changing in the future, that can happen whether solicitors are involved or not.  Sell the house, split the money and then no one can change their minds.  I have known of agreements made through solicitors for child maintenance, that still do not get upheld, so I think your friend has nothing to gain by using a solicitor.

Fiona

This is OK Fiona if the house is being sold but if it isn't  and the husband is keeping the house but giving her half the equity them the takeover of the mortgage will require a solicitor.  Child maintenance agreements were unfortunately taken away from the divorce court in the early 90s and is headed under a total different thing to be honest.

I can honestly say that although I think it is fantastic that you managed your seperation well :-) , I have to disagree with your advice that she has nothing to gain from solicitor.  She has protected interest from one.

Years ago you used to be able to sign a bit of paper at the banks to release people from mortgages etc but you cannot do that now. Property must be transfered in title and only a solicitor can do this.

As long as your friend is sure what she is getting is what she is entitled to and she is not losing out, then fair enough. We used solicitors and we were amicable - infact, the only time we fell out was when one of us got a solicitors letter from t'other and it was formal and sometimes felt as though they were stirring things up. However, there was a pension involved in our case and we needed solicitors to get all the details sorted. Even so, minimal intervention and one meeting with mine and two with Paul and his solicitor cost £1300 for the divorce!

If I was your friend I would see a solicitor (after exploring all avenues of reconciliation of course :)), she may feel she is getting a good deal getting the house but presuming there is a mortgage on it how much of an asset is it?  I read recently that the biggest asset in most divorces these days is the husbands pension! which, of course, under recent changes in the law a wife is entitled to half of.

To be honest if they are prepared to do it amicably then a solicitor won't rob them anyway.

Seperation probably is best done legally. What starts off so amicably tends to end up in troubled water.

People have to look after their own interest.

If the house is in joint names they would need a solicitor anyway as one would need released from the mortgage and ownership responsibilites, whether done with a contractal agreement  a remortgage both will require a solicitor.

Liberty , your freind has to be very careful with peoples advice based on their own experiences and things change from people to people.

JMO above said regarding her freind that,

> she has stayed in the house and her mother also has a house that her ex husband paid for, they agreed that he would get this back once her mother passes away <

This may seem like an ideal agreement but if he owns the houses both woman could be out on their butts pretty easily unless their is some kind of " liferent"  agreement.  Not really the ideal situation.

It frightens me when I hear people starting seperation thinking everything is fine then out the blue the seem to have lost everything.

I agree, Blue, these things are always best signed and sealed, it only takes a once magnanamous ex husband to take on a less magnanamous new wife for things to go belly up.

If their relationship really is amicable then the solicitors fee would be minimal anyway with the added protection that everything had been done properly!

Good luck to them, I'm still paying off my fees after 7yrs!