My 13 year old Golden Retriever seems to be going down hill. For the last few months he has eaten very little (although he still drinks as normal) and so has lost quite a bit of weight. He also has problems getting up when he has been lying down and sometimes falls over by tripping over his back feet. This is not all the time though, sometimes he has days when he is like his old self, he gets up no problem, doesnt fall over and plays with our 6 month old puppy and seems happy. But then he has days like yesterday when he spaent most of the day asleep, just got up to go to the toilet. My family have been trying to decide whether the kindest thing would be to put him to sleep, but then he has his good days and seems like he's fighting and so we dont want to give up on him, when he hasn't give up on himself. When do you know the time is right? All my mums other dogs have died in their sleep and so this is difficult to know when. Any advice would be gratefully appreciated.

Thanks, Nicola

Oh dear, I feel for you. :( We've all been there (or most of us have anyway). Judging the right time to help them on their way can be very difficult.

Old dogs do sleep a lot - it's how much they enjoy life when they're awake that needs to be considered. If he can still get himself out to toilet then that's good. If he's still enjoying some food, then that's good too. Does he yelp when getting up? Is he distressed when he trips up?

Only you can judge whether the good times are heavily outweighed by the bad times. At the back of my mind there's always the advice I was given by our vet: Better to go a week too soon than a day too late.

Sorry I'm not a lot of help.

Thankyou. He doesnt ever yelp in pain, the most he does is bark (doesnt seem an 'in pain' bark though, just a general 'i'm here' bark), and he mainly barks when he cant be bothered to get gimself up (when he seems like he's stuggling to get up we sometimes lift him, but I think he's cottoned onto the fact that if he barks we lift him up and so save him the effort to do so! He's quite a clever but lazy dog and picks things up v.quickly that make life easy for him!). When he falls he never seems distressed, he just looks around for a couple of seconds to see if we have seen him fall and then gets himself up. He wouldnt fall as much as he does if the pup didnt help him along a little, all the pup has to do is slightly bang into him and he sometimes falls - sometimes we think he does it for attention? We really dont know when to make the decision, we dont want to put him to sleep when he's still got some life in him. I agree with the week to soon and day too late though. Its hard!

My mother recently had her elderly Golden put to sleep. He was 14, but had become partially incontinent, was unable to get himself up after lying down and became distressed when my mother tried to lift him, and had become unable to keep food down. He'd go out in the garden and get panicky - life had become a trial for him, and he was helped on his way.

It sounds as though your boy hasn't reached that stage yet.

Sorry to hear about your mums dog but thats true, he hasn't reached that staged yet. He can get himself up most of the time, and doesnt fall over all over the time. He never seems distressed, just occassionaly fed up when he's having a bad day. Thankyou for your advice. Its such a hard decision to make - you obviously want the best for your dog including a long life and not giving up on them but also you dont want them to suffer. If only they could talk and tell you when they think its time! The thing I dread most of all is coming down to them one morning and him having passed away. Although it would be the easiest thing to happen (in a selfish way) as we would not have to make that decision, but then we cannot say goodbye. I dread for the day when we have to say goodbye.

Thanks again, Nicola

It's such a dilemma. You want to keep them, but you don't want them to suffer. You always wonder if you've done the right thing - you just have to remember that it's the last great kindness we can do to an old friend. A person with any conscience will always wonder if they've made the right decision - should it have been yesterday, or could we have had another week ...

Remember that this only bothers you because you care, and that's all that really matters.
(And it sounds as though you have a bit of time left with him yet!)
:)

Thankyou so much for your help, I feel a bit more positive about things now :-) I'll keep you all in touch about how things go. Hopefully he may tell us when he's had enough and make that decision a little more easy to bear. and lets hope we've got a while longer with him!

nicola

Enjoy the summer with him!
:)

I think jeangenie has said everything I would have said... but in such a lovely warm way.... Made me cry.... brings back memories.. :(
Take care and be strong im sure you will know when the time is right

Thankyou all, I sure will enjoy our remaining time with him :-)

im sooo sorry to hear this its a very hard time in life
if you look on tumor of the slpean iv put a post on there, you no when it is time to let them go i dont no how or why they just give you that gut feeling and sometimes that look you will no when its time for your boy to go, enjoy the time you have left with him and if you can face it it helps to stay with then while the vets let then go i didnt cry nearly as much as i have other dogs i havent seen go but i do still get upset
have fun with him lots of cuddles
fiona

If he is stiff getting up try giving him two tablets of High Strength Chondroitin Complex with Glucosamine, available from Holland and Barratt.

My vet recommended it for my old boy and it helped enormously.

Hi Nicola,

It's a terrible dilemma isn't it :(  I think there will come a day when you will just look into his eyes, and he'll tell you that it's time. We had the same anguish as you're having with the last dog we had to have put to sleep, wondering when and whether we were holding back for our own sakes etc.  But one morning we just looked at him and he looked at us and we just knew.  Call me silly or sentimental, but old Oscar looked at us and told us it was time.  Enjoy your grand old boy, and when the day comes, take heart from the fact that you will be performing your final act of love for him and that you will have wonderful memories to draw on to get through the sadness.

Have now made myself blub over beloved dogs now gone :(

Lesley

Hi there

I am nearing that time with my oldie Min. What I did with her mum who we had PTS a couple of years ago is take a view when the dignity is gone or there is obviously pian then it is time :)

It is a very difficult decision and such a hard thing to go through but it is the last ultimate way of showing how much you love them :)

We are taking it day by day and we know what we will have to do once that day arrives .

Take Care

Lucy
xx

Does your dog have arthritis? Is she on any medication? Dogs are so clever even when they are elderly - our Beardie has bad arthritis but has developed a habit of barking for her water bowl to be brought to her when she can't be bothered to get up! However she soon gets up for her dinner or a sunbathe in the garden!!

Sorry - he

When we got up this morning (sorry if this is graphic) he has had a spell of diarrhea incontenance. It was everywhere. He didnt bark to let us know he wanted to go out and the door was open so he was free to go out anyway. When we saw him though he was fine, he's got a cheeky look in his eye! Not depressed or stressed. When we were cleaning up, he got himself up and went outside no problem. Sometimes I wonder if he does it for attention (not the diorhhea of course, but the fact that he can get himself up but he'd rather have a fuss made out of him). Going off what you say about your dogs having a look in their eyes that told you they were ready, he certainly isn't! His look is one of mischief! We dont know why he's got the diarrhea though, he only ate some boiled chicken yesterday so nothing that should have upset his stomach. I understand he may not have had chance to get himself up though so he may not be that mischievous!

Thanks for all your advice, I will try those tablets you recommended SandraH.            

Nicola

Enjoy him this summer - last summer, we knew that our beloved Purdey hadn't long with us - but she had good days, when she would lollop along, legs and ears flying everywhere, and really enjoy herself, then there were other days when she was just content to sit in the garden.

He will let you know when it is time - Purdey did.

Love
Margot

Reading you story takes me back to earlier this year when my dog got very ill very quickly and died. It makes me very sad that we have to go through this pain, if only dogs could talk and tell you how they feel. We know when they are not right and we take care of them. Enjoy the time with him and I believe he will let you know when its time. Has your vet checked him out at all?
My thoughts are with you and wish you all a peaceful time.
Sarah

Thankyou all for all your best wishes. No, we haven't taken him to the vets yet. On one hand we feel its just old age and there is probably very little that can be done for him (we would rather him go peacefully without being pumped full of drugs to keep him going after his time) and on the other, my mum doesnt want to take him as she's scared to what the outcome maybe. Plus he really (really) hates travelling in the car and our nearest vets is about 1/2 hour away - if we had to take him it would stress him so much that as of yet we haven't. Hopefully he should start feeling better this afternoon so we can avoid the dreaded journey! He is really perky despite his 'episode' this morning! :-)

Nicla

I would see the vet - even a housecall if he really hates travelling, it may be that the problem is treatable........

Sam has gone really down hill these last few days, we are taking him to the vet tonight. Hopefully there may be something they can do but in our heart of hearts we know he wont be coming back. He has been soiling himself for the past 3 days and just looks at us pitifully. I have just given him a long brush - of which he adores, whilst crying my heart out. My mum and OH are taking him tonight because I have to work, its going to be so hard to say goodbye. I've grown up with him, he's been there through all the bad and good times. He was the last link I had with my dad who past away suddenly last year. My heart's going to be so empty without him.

Nicola

I'm so sorry. :( It really sounds as though that awful time hs come. Bless you all for not letting him down.

Thankyou. I just hope he's ready to go and we're doing the right thing. I think we all know its the right time though. Its just so hard, this is my first dog but I didn't think I'd be so upset. I've done work experience at a vets and seen dogs being PTS but when its your own its a different matter. Its all those memories. I suppose thats what keeps you going though. If it happens tonight I will post on Rainbow Bridge - when I told my mum about rainbow bridge she was crying her eyes out. I think thats a fitting end though.

Nicola

I'm certain you're doing the right thing. That doesn't make it any easier though.
:(

Oh Nichola - its so hard when it comes to it, but it is, really, the most loving thing you can do for poor Sam.    In time, you will be able to look back, and think yes, we did it for him.    You will then be able to remember him with smiles, not the tears.

Someone (probably someone from Champdogs) sent this to me, when we knew we were having our last weekend with our beloved Purdey, who finally stepped on the Rainbow Bridge in January this year, and although it still has me sniffing, it says it all :-

If it should be that I grow weak,
And pain should keep me from sleep
Then you must do what must be done,
For this, last battle can't be won.

You will be sad - I understand
Don't let your grief then stay your hand
For this day more than all the rest
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years,
So what is to come, can hold no fears
You'd not want me to suffer so
- The time has come,  please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend,
And please stay with me till the end
So hold me close and cuddle me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know, in time you too will see
This is a kindness that you do for me
I have been saved from suffering and pain
Although this life we won't be together again.

Please don't grieve it must be you
Who has this painful thing to do
We've been so close through all these years
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

Our family chain is broken and nothing will ever be the same
But when we meet by Rainbow Bridge the chain will link again.

- Author unknown

{{{{hugs}}}

Margot

:-(  That is so sad but beautifull at the same time

Try to be brave Nicola - I know it's VERY difficult :(   At least you're having the chance to say goodbye and sharing a special time with him and he's going with people he loves and knows and will be joining your dad too.  He's ready now and thank God you're all caring enough to know that.

God bless, will be thinking of you all and of course dear Sam.  {{{hugs}}} Teri

So sorry to hear that the time does sound as though it has come.  With my Dilita last year when she wasn't able to run around like she used to and looked down I felt that it was time.  I'd spent too many years with a fit healthy dog to allow her to continue.  Just think of all the wonderful memories that you'll have and one day we will all be back together with the people/animals that we miss.