1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought

>> he  was God and I  didn't.
>>
>>  2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy  every minute of it.
>>
>>  3. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me.
>>
>>  4. Some people are alive only because its illegal to kill them.
>>
>>  5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
>>
>>  6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
>>
>>  7. You're just  jealous because the voices only talk to me.
>>
>>  8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
>>
>>  9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
>>
>>  10. Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
>>
>>  11. I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are missing.
>>
>>  12. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
>>
>>  13. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
>>  medicine.
>>
>>  14.  God must love stupid people; he made so many.
>>
>>  15. The  gene pool could use a little chlorine.
>>
>>  16.  Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
>>
>>  17. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
>>
>>  18. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it.
>>
>>  19. I have a degree in liberal arts; do you want fries with that?
>>
>>  20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
>>
>>  21. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
>>
>>  22. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up three
>> thousand times the memory on our computer.
>>
>>  23. HAM AND EGGS -- A day's work for a  chicken, a lifetime commitment
>>  for a pig.

Very good.....did you write it?     They say madness is a sign of genius!!!!

I love no 5 and the lifetime commitment for a pig :D :D :D