I know I'm probably going to get a lot of bad responses to this but here goes...
I have had my new puppy for about 6 weeks now. However I can not bring myself to like him, please do not get me wrong he's a lovely little fellow but I do not feel quite right about him. Since they day they were born, the breeder gave us photo's of another in the litter, saying that he would be ours, so for the first 8 weeks I guess I fell in love with the other puppy - who had much better markings and better all round conformation. Then when we turned up to collect him she brought out a different pup, which I really was not so keen on, he wasn't too bad but it wasn't the puppy I was expecting. From the moment I saw him I was disappointed but didn't mention it to the breeder as I felt I'd grow to like this one just as much, I thought it was just an initial disappointment. We really wanted a puppy to show and now he seems to have an undershot jaw so we will not be able to show him at all, so maybe I'm just very disappointed about this and this is causing these feelings.

What do you think, should I keep him and see if my feelings change or should I return him to the breeder?

return him. although I find it hard to believe as a dog person you "don't like him" because you fell in love with a fictional one from a pic! what if you get one thats "perfect" that turns out not to be? will you go off him too?

>because you fell in love with a fictional one from a pic!

I think the guest was shown pictures of the puppy she was supposed to be getting and when she collected the pup, it was a different one in the litter.  Not a "fictional" one as such.

I would go along with everyone else.  Take him back.  If you've not bonded after 6 weeks, I don't think you will.  As someone has said, you maybe need to look to see if you do want a puppy.

I think you're brave for coming on here and admitting it. 

Helen

In my eyes, its fictional. A picture can't show the true personality of the pup...you are just looking at an image captured in a split second of time. Any emotions attached can only be the ones that the viewer attributes to that picture! :)

oh come on!  If the guest had been sent photos every week of a certain pup, of course, he/she is going to fall for that one, especially if it had the markings he/she liked (he/she has already indicated that was the case).  I'm not saying that EVERYONE wouldn't be ok with a different one but it's obvious guest isn't.

It isn't fictional as it's a real live puppy.  In your eyes, it maybe fictional but I would have thought most people wouldn't consider a real puppy to be fictional.  JMO of course ;-)

Helen

Maybe not fictional - but still a fantasy.

Anyway, I wonder why the OP accepted a different puppy in the first place? Maybe the breeder had made a genuine mistake?

fantasy - thats it - thats the word I was looking for :)

The guest says they fell in love with the other puppy "who had much better marking and conformation"  - sounds shallow to me, quite frankly. If the guest was so in love with the pup in the pics then why bring the other one home! And if the breeder does that - how do you know the pup isn't fictional? If its real, why didn't guest take it home instead of one they clearly don't want? Dodgy breeder if you ask me.

Hi Guest, feeling the way you do after all this time, it seems to me you are not building a proper loving relationship with this little chap. You should not have taken him on in the first place if you felt this way at the start, but for his sake, phone his breeder and ask them to take him back, baby puppies need love attention and patience, if you cannot do that, give him the opportunity to find the loving home he should have.

Ring the breeder now.... please.
Dawn R.

hi i would take him back because if you dont grow to love him its not fair on the pup and he could have a loving home somwhere else.

aww poor pup but if you cant take to him, take him back, poor baby!!:(

When i first had my pup i had fallen for her, but for various reasons had also fallen for another little one. I brought my pup home and for a few days, although i took great care of her, was very worried i had in fact brought the wrong one home. However, i realised the other one in fact reminded me very much of my first and dearest Bsd and that was probably why i had fallen for it too, and then i felt better as i understood my reasoning (if you see what i mean) and started to really bond with the puppy i had :)

I think too that for me, i had waited over a year and still missed my other BSDs. It was very hard to bond again but i started to really love the new puppy.

I would say therefore that if you haven't bonded and love the pup now, it may never happen. So i would agree, you should take the pup back for its own sake. Hope you have put in lots of work socialising it etc. whilst you had it :)

Lindsay
X

As you mention that "he's a lovely fellow" and doesn't seem to be causing you any problems (ie behavioural or overwhelmed first-time dog owner issues), and that you've also had him for 6 weeks now and still not bonded....I would agree with Chloe. Its only fair that the pup feels genuinely loved, within secure surroundings in order to develop into a confident, happy and well balanced dog. Based on the informormation you've given, I'm not convinced that all your feelings stem from the dissappointment of not being able to show him, or indeed that he's not the pup you were expecting. Not wanting to purposely cause insult, I would perhaps ask yourself whether you want a pup at all? May be there are more issue that we are unaware of that would cause us to come to a different conclusion, if so, then join and tell us more

Why did she show you a picture of a different dog?

Agree with the above so won't reiterate.  What explanation was given for you not getting the other pup?  Was the breeder aware that you intended showing ?  Why did you accept the wrong pup?  Are you positive that you were given the wrong pup? (eg boy not girl) Markings can look different to the photos and some markings can and do change, eg white spotting can get bigger/smaller/change shape, coloured markings can appear in white areas.

did you put a deposit on the pup of your choice?
i would have been disappointed if i had picture sent through to then find out it wasn't mine,but is this picture one the breeder sent to everyone? or is it the pup the breeder is keeping? if the pup is of better show quality than the one you collected maybe its the breeder way of making people think she only has show quality.did you inform the breeder you wished to show the pup? i would give her a ring and try and sort it all out.
if the pup of your choice is already gone etc,you have left it a long time though to decied what to do next.
why did you collect/take this pup at the time if it isn't the one you were expecting,and not sort it there and then?
all said and done you need to be honest with yourself and either keep this little lad and give him 100% and forget about the other 1 or take him back.it is not fair to keep him if you can't give him the care he needs.
just because the marking etc are better on the picture doesn't mean it would be a better dog.
the only person who can sort this mess out is you! but put the dog first please.

Hi guest could you not of gone to see the litter of puppies and left a deposit on the one you wanted.
then asked the breeder to send you pics of him, then you would of had the dog you wanted instead now you are left with a puppy that you havent bonded with. my humble opinion is either speak to the breeder or decide quickly whether you are going to keep him or let him go

Its a pity you are not in touch with other buyers from the same litter perhaps they were shown the ` very attractive better marked puppy too`The poor little baby has done no wrong apart from not being `good enough to show`if you do return the puppy, better to start from scratch, do your homework and find a breeder you can trust, and visit the breeder in person to see the litter. Technology will never take the place of `the hands on approach`in whatever you do in life. Just bear in mind though there is no breeder on earth that can guarantee a `show speciman` when you buy an 8 week old puppy!
Ester

"I'm not convinced that all your feelings stem from the dissappointment of not being able to show him, or indeed that he's not the pup you were expecting."

I absolutely have that same feeling.

My Dobe and I took longer than the other dogs to bond. He was a lot of trouble at first. I liked him fine, but he was very difficult. He got loved and cuddled and treated well, but I remember feeling quite irritated and a bit distant sometimes. I didn't allow those feeling to keep me from showing him proper love and care. I love animals, so I did love him. But that heart to heart bond....that feeling that's hard to describe didn't happen right off the bat. I can't remember now when things clicked. But it may have been longer than 6 weeks. But when it clicked, it stuck. I was told by some Dobe people on another message board that lots of people don't bond with their Dobes right off. It takes sometimes longer, but when it hits, it's an unusually strong bond. And I see what they mean now.

I guess it depends on the individual.

Carrie

Pups can change a lot too - if he is still very young then his teeth will be doing all kinds of strange things and he may well not end up undershot - markings change too and a pup that looks really well made at 8 weeks can often look out of balance as different parts grow at different rates.Perhaps he was the pup whose pictures you fell in love with - but if you really feel that you cannot bond with him them send him back whilst he is still young enough to settle into a new home. Remember though that showing is only a tiny part of the pleasure you get from a dog I have 6 and only show 3 the rest are either too old or just not 'show dogs' but I enjoy them all.

Yvonne

I found myself quite distant with my oldest Elkhound pup who I had a week after loosing my mad but very loved BSD.  I cared for ehr and liked her, but6 was still greiving for my beautiful mad hatter black girl, who had died tragically young at 3 1/2, so instead of getting nothing but pleasure from ths lovely growing youngster, I had felings of regret that the other one had such a short life.

Have you recently lost a juch loved dog, and some of your feeelings are to do with the sense of loss?

I feel badly for what is churning around in your mind. How important is it that you show this pup? And again, it is hard to tell for sure at such a young age. You sound about where I was with my Dobe. I didn't get that emotional, deep down in your gut, love connection until....I have a hard time remembering how long, but it was way after 6 weeks. I think it could have been as late as 5 months. (Some people on another message board just for Dobes, as I said before said they didn't feel it till their dogs, in some cases were 10 months old.)It just grew little by little, so gradually that I didn't notice. It did not happen like it had with any other dog in the past. And in my case, I think it was just that he exhausted me. He was a holly terror for a while, so much more energy than any other dog I ever had. He irritated the sh#* out of me sometimes. But things leveled off. He'd start to do things that were endearing. He'd try. He'd give me a look. And so it just grew. And now...oh my goodness. How could I have ever felt that way? I love this dog sooooo much. He is my constant companion, the most loyal, affectionate, interested in his mom, willing to try, beautiful dog. He's 1 yr. old and I can't picture not having him in my life, even though I have 3 other dogs. I feel the same about them, except this one has a little extra something special. He was more of a challenge to get through the puppy stage. (young puppy stage, he's still in it) He's still my big, major, project in that he takes much more socializing and training than I've put into the others. They just didn't require the outright effort in massive amounts of socializing that I felt this breed needed. I spend almost all my time with him. I'm home with these dogs all day most days.

So, it is possible that you are experiencing something like I did. If you generally love dogs, and it sounds that way, and you've always bonded before to every one of your dogs, I really think that you will to this pup too. He sounds adorable and well behaved. If I could with Lyric, who pissed me off so much LOL, then I bet you will too. Just decide how much you want to show, how important that is.....if you think this guy won't cut the mustard. But it is hard to tell. I wish you the very best and that you lose this torment and indecisive feeling you're carrying around. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle and write the plusses and minuses about this dog and your feeelings. Then just feeeeeeel what you just organized in your mind. Take a couple days and then decide once and for all whether to love this dog. I think one can DECIDE to love. I don't believe that it's all about just happening. It's an act and I think the bond will follow in many, many cases.

As for having trouble joining, cookies and all, I did too. Did you contact the administration? Maybe they can help. I do hope that will get straightened out.

Carrie

It sounds as if he has a great home. I feel Brainless may have hit on something. There is a great little book bu Laura and Martyn Lee about pet loss which i have found very helpful, andthere are several others too, perhaps they might help a bit. I'm really sorry things are so difficult for you.

Lindsay
X

Keep him he'll grow on you. Couldn't take to one of my dogs staight the way, he was sort of sprung on me, I only intended having the one dog but 6 mths down the line the breeders offered Haz (their pick of the litter) he was having problems getting along with his Dad. OH was all for it, I was quite happy with just the one. Anyway to cut a long story short Haz was ill a couple of months after we got him, it was then that I bonded with him while nursing him back to health. I love him to bits now and wouldn't be without him. He'll get to your heart sooner or later.