This one rates quite highly for me;
   
    Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift - because it is the present.

Well whats your fav - most hated saying/quote?

Karen   

Carry on as if you're normal ;)

:D

Most hated 'Why aren't you married?'

Reply 'Why aren't you thin?'  :D

"I'm having a senior moment" Which i say often :) or dog wise "If my dog has one brain cell it's one too many to cope with" :D

Hey Joe why aren't you married?? ;)

How about 'Did your parents have any children that lived?' :D :D

I do like Joes sense of humour      
'that would be a good argument for abortion'   ;)
'Your so ugly your mother fed you with a catapult'

My fav saying at work is, "no, don't tell me, it's much more fun to let me guess".  Fortunately the guys I work with have a sense of humour.  I reckon they think that I'm joking!  :D

Where have you been hiding Joe?

"Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt"  :)

I'm not having a battle of wits with someone who's come half prepared.

My favourites:
a penny saved is a government overlook.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
Im not overweight, Im undertall.

Sue

most fav one at the moment is " because I your mother in her great wisdom said so" kids hate it LOL

The one I seem to use most often   "things didn't go quite to plan" 

'Dont look to where you fell but to where you slipped' or 'Minds are like parachutes - they function when open'

'if your not fast your last' works out about right when you sit and think about it :)

Today will be yesterday tomorrow.

My blonde moments are beginning to coincide with my senior moments.

Don't start rocking the boat until you know who is rowing it.

Margot

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Experience is a wonderful thing - it enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.

It isn't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

"Insanity is the best form of relaxation"
Afraid thats one that sums me up!!!!!!!!!! (Made it up myself!!!!!!!!)
Lea :)

Dull women have clean houses  is my favourite, the one I HATE is Satan Filly's " Yirr Orright, but" and the intrusive pure as in " Miss Blank took a pure raj at me in PE cos I telt her I wis in goals so ma team would win!"  Funnily enough Satan Filly is improving becoming more considerate, responsive to gentle hints as to acceptable behaviour and more helpful at home, although even more Weimeraner obsessed than ever ( but quietly!)

My dad has always had a wealth of sayings, some I like, some used to drive me mad as a kid!
I like 'cute as a bug's ear'
'it's enough to p##s off the pope'

He used to love winding me up when I was younger, and the ones I used to hate were:
If I asked if we could go somewhere, or do something I wanted to do, he would say
'let's not and say we did'
Or if I asked him something, eg. 'dad, why....'
he'd say 'to make little girls ask silly questions!'

I can remember the childhood frustration even now! That's it, I'm phoning Childline....
Liz

Hi ,just a few  that seem .......so apt , "If a Mothers place is in the home ,why am i always in the car ?".....&"You reached me just in time ,i was beginning to feel CONFIDENT AGAIN !!....& " Lord if you won't make me skinny ,please make my friends fat !!" Bye Sue T xx

"My glass isn't half empty,it's half full," (top it up please :D )

and most hated phrase of the moment " ah bless!"

If I wanted my Dad to do or help me with something when I was little he would often say " I can't, I've got a bone in my leg" and I would accept this as a reasonable excuse. I was quite old before I realised what a prune I'd been !.

Val

On my desk at work : Charm is telling someone to go to heck in such a way that they really want to go, and I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day and tomorrow isnt looking good either

Val.. my dad used to say that to me! He now says it to my daughter and it has in stiches :)

Donna and charliex

My favourites at the moment (because I am putting them  in frames to sell at our Ch show next week):-

"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue"

"dont accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful"

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went"

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough excercise"

"dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole"

"My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dogs already thinks I am"

and my absolulte favourite:

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person"

bye
Gwen

"My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings: Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

Percy Bysshe Shelley 1792-1822

John, You're a bit scary  :)

Ali :)

My personal favourites are

1) Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! (from Monty Python/Quest for the Holy Grail)

2) Home again, home again, jiggety jig! (No, its not rude, it from Blade Runner)

Ali :)

Actually #2 is a nursery rhyme!
:)

Jeangenie,

I stand corrected:)

Ali :)

MY all time favourite...is sit on a leaf and wait til autumn....it came I think from one of those kiddies jokes ..how does the elephant get from the top of a tree...sit on a leaf and wait til autumn ...my dad used to roar with laughter every time he heard it and it sort of got adopted into our family sayings
       another on is ferkle....which means to look for something       
             I also hate Oh bless it sounds so forced and insincere                           

my favourite saying to my children when they are walking backwards ,and talking to me usually in a crowded place where they could walk into someone
are you a mother no well turn around as you don't have eyes in the back of your head.

this one is from my dear departed granny
it is like a bag of shit from china far fetched.
Carol

'Every little helps said the woman as she piddled in the sea' :p :p :p :p

Gina

"Not all progress is good progress"

"That's not a wisdom tooth, that's a consolation prize"

"I was not put on this earth to live up to your expectations"

and the Thoreau poem (not posting all of it! :D ) which starts  "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he marches to the sound of a different drummer"

Snorri
Twilight Zone
:D

"What part of NO don't you understand"

"Your lack of planning does not constitute my emergency"