A BLOKE sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale."

>
>He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard,
>so he goes out there and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
>
>"You talk?" he asks.
>
>"Sure do," the dog replies.
>
>"So, what's your story?"
>
>The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking
>pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the MI5
>about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to
>country sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders.
>
>"I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running because no
>one thought a dog would be eavesdropping.
>
>"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting
>any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at
>the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near
>suspicious characters and listening in."
>
>"I uncovered some incredible dealings there, was awarded a string of
>medals, had a wife, a load of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
>
>The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants
>for the dog. The owner says, "10 quid."
>
>The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him
>so cheap?"
>
>"Cos he's a f***ing liar. He's never done any of that stuff