From Santa.

Dear friends,
I have been watching you closely to see if you have been good this year and
since you have, I was going to tell my elves to make some goodies for me to
leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all gifts from
the 12 days of Christmas but we had a little problem.

The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with the
10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords a-leaping have knocked up the 8 maids
a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing wierd things
to the 7 swans a-swimming.

The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and the
partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird s..t.

On top of this Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my reindeer are
on heat, the elves have joined the Gay Liberation, and some people who can't
read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January.

Maybe next year I will be able to get my s..t together and bring you the
things that you want. This year I suggest you get your asses down to K-Mart
before everything is gone.

Yours Sincerely Santa Claus.

:D :D :D

I think I'll pass that on to my kids  ;)
Fi xxx