Whenever your children are out of control, you

> can take comfort from
> the thought that even God's omnipotence did not
> extend to His own
> children After creating heaven and earth, God
> created Adam and Eve.
> And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
> "Don't what?" Adam replied.
> "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
> "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey
> Eve...we have
> Forbidden
> fruit!!!!!"
> "No Way!"
> "Yes way!"
> "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
> "Why"
> "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God
> replied, wondering why
> He
> hadn't stopped creation after making the
> elephants.  A few minutes
> later, God saw His children having an apple
> break and He was ticked!
> "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God
> asked.
> "Uh huh," Adam replied.
>
> "Then why did you?" said the Father.
> "I don't know," said Eve.
> "She started it!" Adam said
> "Did not!"
> "Did too!"
> "DID NOT!"
> Having had it with the two of them, God's
> punishment was that Adam
> and
> Eve should have children of their own. Thus the
> pattern was set and
> it
> has never changed.
> BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
> If you have persistently and lovingly tried to
> give children wisdom
> and
> they haven't taken it, don't be hard on
> yourself.  If God had
> trouble
> raising children, what makes you think it would
> be a piece of cake
> for
> you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

> 1. You spend the first two years of their life
> teaching them to walk
> and talk.  Then you spend the next sixteen
> telling them to sit down
> and
> shut up.
> 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not
> killing your own children.
> 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals
> eat their young.
> 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they
> usually repeat word
> for
> word what you shouldn't have said.
> 5. The main purpose of holding children's
> parties is to remind
> yourself
> that there are children more awful than your
> own.
> 6. We child proofed our homes, but they are
> still getting in.
> ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They
> will choose your
> nursing
> home.
> AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND
> YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO
> WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO
> ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP
> AWAY
> FROM CHILDREN