For those who already have children past this age:

this is hilarious.

For those who have children this age:

this is not funny.

For those who have children nearing this age:

this is a warning.

For those who have not yet had children:

this is birth control.



Things my children taught me (honest & no kidding):



1. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.

house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with

roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded

restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not

strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy

wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.

However, if tied to a paint can, It is strong enough to spread

paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

6. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up

a few times before you get a hit.

7. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

8. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball

hit by a ceiling fan.

9. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's

already too late.

10. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

11. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a

36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.



12. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year

old.

13. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence

14. Super glue is forever.

15. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still

can't walk on water

16. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

17. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show

they do.

18. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

19. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

20. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

21. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do

not like ovens.

22. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

23. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms

dizzy.

24. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

25. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

26. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.

Natalie

27. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake

fluid.

Madness is hereditary - you get it from your children....................:D

I enjoyed those, Staffielover..gave me a right good giggle.. :D

oh happy days.....been there done it.....and now doing it all again....arrrrgghhhhhhhhh. :) :) :) :) .