By Staffie lover
![[gb]](/images/flags/gb.png "United Kingdom")
Date 01.10.03 16:07 UTC
1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
2. A, is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here, so leave a message.
3. Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
4. Hi, Now you say something.
5. Hi, I'm not at home right now, but my answering machine! is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
6. Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?
7. (From Japanese friend) He-lo! This is Santo. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave "sexy message," I call you sooner!
8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
9. Hello, You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give charity through their office and do not need their
pictures taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
10. This is not an answering machine. This is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.
11. Hi. I am probably home. I'm avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
13. If you are a burglar, then we're at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't answer the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it is safe to leave us a message.
14. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right, real slowly! So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you.
Natalie
By pamie o
Date 02.10.03 09:02 UTC
when my hubby accidently switched the answering machine off at the mains i made him record the new message this time as i was always doing it.....He told me to phone and see what i thought.......
-------" hi sorry but neither Pamela or MIchael can manage to take your call at the moment please leave a message or call later........that is unless it is the dogs you want to speak to if so bark after the tone.."-----------
I had tears streaming down my face for minutes laughing cause it sounded so serious.....:)
Pamie
By wreeve99
Date 06.10.03 08:42 UTC
I once left this, at the suggestion of my son
Hello................ Hello.................. Hello I can't hear you...................... I can't hear you because I am not at home at the moment, please leave a message after the tone.
My mom nearly killed me when she saw me..... she got caught with it.
Worst of all... so did my son!!!
I like number 8, too!!!
You can download them all from here, plus more.
Number 11 for me
I once did one at my parents house and it went as follows:-
Great one Natalie, I enjoyed reading those, 8 is my favourite too.