> Letter from the Management
>
>
> > > > > > Dear Sir/Madam,
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of
> > > > > > economy since last Christmas, the Management has decided to
> > implement
> > > a
> > > > > > scheme
> > > > > > to put workers of 40 years of age on early retirement.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People
> Early).Persons
> > > > > > selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for
> > > > > > the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under

> > > > > > SCREW scheme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person

> > be
> > > > > > RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as

> > > deems
> > > > > > appropriate.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income
> > > > > > for Dependants or Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired
> > > > > > Personnel Early >Severance).
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or
> > > > > > SCREWED any further by management. Persons staying on will

> > as
> > > > > much
> > > > > > SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it

> > > > > > employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT,
> > > > > > please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been
> > > trained
> > > > > > to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Sincerely,
> > > > > >
> > > > > > The Management