please help me. i had to rehome my poodle at the begining of the year,through no fault of his own,he has a really great home and i have regular email contact but i just can't seem to get over him. I dream about him and cry in private cause i still miss him so much, i thought i would be over him by now but this feeling just won't go away. I feel very lonely like no one understands and that i have lost my very best friend,he was like my escape from reality. We have 3 young children, and even though they are well behaved my partner said we can have another poodle once the kids are older. I can't stop thinking about getting another poodle soon, is this a natural feeling, will the grief not go untill i replace him? please help as i really feel alone on this matter and i know there must be more people in this situation.

I think that it can take a long time to get over the loss of a pet. Whilst he hasn't died you still have lost him although it sounds like you found him a very good home who clearly have no problems in communicating with you about how he is doing.
Maybe it is the reason why you had to have him rehomed you haven't come to terms with rather than the actual rehoming itself. It is very difficult if you can't justify to yourself why you did it even if it was for all the right reasons.
Getting another dog will not ease the pain unfortunately and you have to learn to cope with what has passed. It can take time, took me 3 years to cope with losing one of my dogs and I got another dog in the meantime so don't think that the way you feel is abnormal, it isn't. Grief is a very personal thing and it will take as long as it will take.
I'm sorry you fel so bad about it but time really does heal.
Bec

I think you should take comfort in that you rehomed your poodle in a good home, and probably did all you could, rather than just dumped him in a rescue. Try and think that he is probably being loved and is having a good life,and that one day you'll have another chance, but this time you'll have learned a painful lesson that'll make you a better owner. The grief will pass, but it is more difficult in some ways than losing a dog, as you probably have a guilt thing to cope with as well. Just enjoy your kids, and plan for the day you can get another pup.If you feel in your heart you did all you could, then try to be at peace. It won't help your poodle or you to beat yourself up. Don't worry, you'll find it's not so painful, bit by bit.Don't make the mistake of rushing into getting another dog, it won't cure your pain, and you'll be back to square one. Wishing you all the best
Beth x

I know exactly how you feel, when my hubby was very ill, I had to re-home 5 of my dogs and I kept 2, there was no way I could look after him and all the dogs, since my hubby has died I now have 3 dogs, I am also in contact with the new owners and the dogs are all healthy and happy in their new homes as long as the dogs are being well looked after I'm fine with that. I have my first litter of pups in over 3 yrs and I do not sell a puppy to anyone who has children under 5 years of age as I feel if someone has a baby and a toddler and maybe a 5 yr old, they do not have time to spend training a puppy properly, once the children are at school thats fine, then they can help with the puppy, in the garden, throwing balls etc. Just be thankfull that your lovely poodle has a super home and is well loved. The time will come when you can have another one, just be patient.

We have 5 kids, all under 7 (we have baby triplets) and we have just adopted our second dog.
Not all people with kids dont have time for a dog, I've got more now than before I had the babies - as I dont work any more :)
Granted, a pup would be hell...*lol*

Hi Irene,

I brought reasently a Border Collie Female from a Breeder. I have 3 kids. 8 , 7 and 2 years old. My BC is 2 years old. She is very well raised and yes older dogs do very well with little kids. A family with small kids should not get a puppy. The best age is 2 years old from a breeder who raised his dogs with little kids. And yes we have to look out. But i do trust the dog. And the dog is better behaved then my kids. :o) . Yes our dog got spayed last week. And she has all her shots. Our dog is a family member.

Hi Marla

Just to say you can have a pup if you have small children. It does depend on circumstances and how experienced a dog owner you are !:)

Lucy

Irene,
My son is now 3.5 and my puppy 1. I have MADE time to take Ash training, play with him and teach him to be groomed etc. He will be working alongside the older dog this coming season, and thats not achieved without putting time and effort in. Christopher is trained along side, fetching and carrying and being taught the right way to do things.

I take exception to your assertion that because I have a child I can't fit a puppy in. I have friends with no children who make less time for their dog.

Incidentally I also work full-time.

Vikki, It is very hard to rehome a dog, I think harder than if it should die. But your baby has a good home and is happy. It will get better eventually, it will take a while.

I'm sorry you're still feeling so sad, it's completely normal - I would feel the same I'm sure.
I think the best thing you can do is to prepare very well before you adopt (or buy) another dog, so that you know everything will work out.
Have you thought about helping out at a shelter while you get over the pain, it will keep your mind occupied, and also give you that doggy fix you crave :) You never know, when the time is right, you might just find your new pal there ;)
Lisa
xx

Vikki, I really do sympathise. I have had my puppy for 3 months now and I had forgotten how attached you become. Your poodle has gone to a good home and will be loved - just keep telling yourself that you did what you needed to do and when the time is right you will have a new friend who will be loved just as much. Take care.

I rehomed one of my whippets nearly two years ago now, and I would say it took nearly a year to get over it properly. It really helped that the family that took her on rang me a few times to say how pleased they were with her and how well she had settled in. I've also been to see her and could see how happy and settled she was, and being the only dog, she was being spoilt and getting all the attention she needed. Is there anyway you could arrange to see your dog in his new home? I did get another dog eventually, because I had to fill that gap and couldn't stop thinking about it. I got quite obsessed and hormonal about it (not having any kids). It wasn't so much my circumstances that were the problem, but the dog herself, so persuading my husband to have another dog wasn't too difficult in the end. I'm sorry you still miss your poodle so much. I know how you are feeling.