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Topic Other Boards / Foo / Lol@fwd'd e-mail
- By taffyparker [gb] Date 01.05.03 09:34 UTC
Sorry but I had to share this, I thought it was hysterical....but I am warped :D

ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other
'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).
3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and
say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your
ears
and grimace.

> >6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper
> >huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".
> >7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out,


say,
"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
9) While riding a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
THREE-POINTS DARES
1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with
double-barreled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get
all
that, I don't want to have to repeat it".
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the
nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES
1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice
to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you
with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do
a
number two".
5) After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent.
As in" the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly
and
mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my
witness, I'll never go hungry again".
9) In a colleague_s diary, write in
10am: "See how I look in tights".
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna
trade?".
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
" Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't
talk about it".
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a
lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a
very
important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash
each biscuit with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards
the door.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting
attendee,
move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

And if that wasn't enough for you...
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point
a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Tell your children over dinner.
"Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries with that.
4) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6) In the subject field for all your e-mails, write " FOR SEXUAL
FAVOURS".
7) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
8) Don't use any punctuation
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they
answer.
11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12) Sing along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
party because you're not in the mood.
16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock
Hard.
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd
time this week!!!"
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling,
"Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Julie :D
- By JackyandSydney [gb] Date 01.05.03 09:56 UTC
Bob, I had to smother my giggles whilst reading this at work. Im sending it to my brother who has often got in a lift an faced the people rather than turning around (very disturbing people dont know where to look) . He often says to his co-workers. Does the noise in my head bother you..
Im sure he will try out a few.
- By taffyparker [gb] Date 01.05.03 10:07 UTC
Righto Bob, forward away, mon! :D :D
- By Melodysk [gb] Date 01.05.03 10:08 UTC
*Giggles*

:D :D
- By Daisy [gb] Date 01.05.03 13:33 UTC
Had dinner with six old school friends a week ago - we launched spontaneously into singing our old school song (in Latin) - suddenly wondered why the other people in the restaurant were looking at us with bemused expressions. Thirty years since we left school and we can still remember it - can't remember what it means tho :)

Daisy
- By taffyparker [gb] Date 01.05.03 14:40 UTC
:d :d
My old school song was called "The Derby Ram". It scares me when my old school friends burst into song, proud that they can still remember it :D
I bet there were a few nudges/whispers in the restaurant that night Daisy...:D :D Some murmurs about too many immigrants receiving our taxes to pay for meals infancy restaurants :D :D
- By Daisy [gb] Date 01.05.03 14:49 UTC
:D :D

We did have a choice of song - our school had two - the other was "Forty Years On" - which for anyone who doesn't know is the Harrow school song about boys playing rugby - not very apt when you are at a girls' school :D :D Far more stirring, but just a tad too much for a restaurant :D :D

Daisy
- By taffyparker [gb] Date 01.05.03 14:53 UTC
Did you go to the girls school near Harrow? Or did you just pinch their song?...or :eek: is there some dark secret you're not telling us :eek:
- By Daisy [gb] Date 01.05.03 14:59 UTC
No, I'm not a closet transexual :) Went to a girls grammar school in Woodford, Essex. Goodness knows why we had such songs - must have been fashionable to pinch the songs when the school was founded :)

The restaurant must be getting used to us by now, as the last time that we were in there a couple of months ago - one of my friend's husband was in the 'hot seat' on 'Who wants to be a millionnaire' - my friend was one of the 'phone a friends' and her mobile went as we were eating - lots of screeching as she had to rush out onto the pavement as she couldn't hear anything in the restaurant :)

Daisy
- By Melodysk [gb] Date 01.05.03 14:59 UTC
Daisy ...my old school song is 40 Years On as well ..we had a bicentennial celebration last year and we were all trying to remember the words :D :D

And yes , I went to a girls school too ...nowhere near Harrow :D
- By Daisy [gb] Date 01.05.03 15:01 UTC
Forty years on when afar and asunder - parted are those who are singing today ...........

I won't bore others with any more

http://www.harrowschool.org.uk/about/song/song1.htm

Daisy
Topic Other Boards / Foo / Lol@fwd'd e-mail

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