Hello...I have been waiting to pick up my puppy for past 3 months. There were two puppies to choose from and we picked one based on the photos and videos.

And the breeder contacted me just 1 week before the pick up date, and told us she changed her mind, and she decided to keep our puppy herself and that we will be picking up a different puppy in the litter.
I am just so disappointed...the word disappointed is not even close to how Im feeling...

I told the breeder that this is just too hard to accept..but the breeder was really firm on her decision and she basically told me either we take the other one, or nothing at all. She says she mainly breeds dogs for her own joy and keeping one right for her is the priority.....

We had worked with a different breeder 1 year ago, and the same thing happened and we decided not to adopt because of the disappointment..and I can't believe same thing happened again..

Honestly....this whole adoption process is wearing me down ... and I'm just so tired and sick of it....so tired to a point where I just want to give up getting a puppy......I don't know if I will like the other puppy knowing that she is not the one I chose....my husband thinks maybe this is also destiny...

Does this happen a lot..? Should I just not get a puppy from this breeder..? Im just so tired of being disappointed and let down by these breeders who constantly change their decision....

I do not quite understand why you are so fixed on one particular puppy, as you have only seen photos and videos. Quite often a breeder will select the puppy for a new owner as they become familiar with their temperament which is so much more important than looks. When I got mine Finn was the only one left and Stella was selected by the breeder as probably the least likely to be show/ breeding quality. I did not mind a bit. This may sound a bit hard but get over it! You have no attachment whatsoever to the chosen one. Who knows how delightful the other will be. The one you chose may turn out to be a little beast1 LOL

How can you buy any puppy before seeing it and also the mother etc?

thanks..but it's hard to get over it...
we had been receiving photos and video of how the puppy grew up for past months, and have been getting ready just thinking about that one, now all the sudden it's going to be a different puppy...

As a breeder myself this breeder is having a litter for the same reason I & many other breeders have a litter for. I ALWAYS make sure that I let potential owners know that I take first pick of the sex I require & they can not chose a puppy of that sex until I have chosen mine. I send them pictures of the entire litter so they get to see how any of the puppies are growing up.

Don't throw the baby out with the bath water, if all other things are correct with the breeder, why not have the other puppy.

Hi, I really don't want to sound mean but you need to understand why this breeder has gone to all the trouble of breeding a litter in the first place and it is an awful lot of trouble. Breeders do it to produce a puppy for themselves. The remaining puppies are made available to other people. That is the priority and as I understand it, that's what you've been told. I would fully accept that. Breeders must be able to choose their own puppy ahead of anyone else, that is simply the way it has to be. If I were you I would get my head around that fact and be happy the breeder is offering a puppy at all. The other puppy is to all intents and purposes just as good a puppy. I assume you're buying a pet and not a show or breeding prospect. It will all be fine in the end.

I think the problem is these breeders had set up a wrong expectation to us from the beginning. Not all dog buyers are breeders and they need to understand that when people have arrangements, it needs to be kept. Thats just basics. Imagine if you were promised a baby for adoption and 1 week before, they just inform w.o no discussion at all, that baby needs to be switched. Can you blame the parents for being upset? We were promised a specific puppy, the anticipation has been building for months. I respect the breeder's choice but that doesn't change the fact that there were much better ways that this could have been handled from the beginning.

I assign all puppies to homes at 7.5 weeks.  I would never allow people to choose at puppy ever.

To my mind, that's where the breeder has gone wrong here... Why let people choose and then prevent them from having their choice?  If you are breeding a litter to keep a pup or to give others a performance or show pup, then be honest and tell people you will assign puppies to homes.

I much prefer it when the breeder selects a puppy for me.  They have lived with the pups for 8 weeks and know what they are like and also know my own needs...

thank you....I agree.
Why let me chose and prevent me from that choice ?
We were assigned at 8 weeks by the breeder btw.. She narrowed down the choices for us, but she assigned us and changed mind last moment.
I might have been fine bringing the other puppy home, if I had not been promised and anticipated the first puppy all this time.
Now, when I go visit them, I won't have a neutral mindset when I look at the other puppy, and there is prob a good chance I will come home empty handed..
And I will prob just give up ..

I think we can all feel your disappointment but I don't think you will give up. I think that if you forgo this puppy you might regret it and just find yourself waiting all over again. Take the puppy you've been offered and get on with your wonderful life together. Look forward to the pleasures your puppy will bring. Have fun together.

How can anyone choose a puppy they haven't met? How do you know that its personality and temperament would have suited you?

I think the positive point here is that it's clearly a breeder who breeds for the right reasons - not just to make money. Breeders who will sell all puppies in a litter and work on a "first come, first served" basis are basically just running a business.

I agree with Dawn, I think you might regret it. I would go and view the puppy and see how it goes. If its happy healthy and of similar quality, not nervous or small I would bring it home and have the fun you've been waiting so long for.

Puppies can change so much in the first few weeks of their life and the breeder has obviously decided that particular puppy is the one they should be keeping for their themself.  Earlier this year I bought a puppy. There were only 2 bitches in the litter and the breeder was keeping one for showing. The breeder changed his mind about the one he was keeping, then changed it back again. I wasn't at all concerned about that as the puppy was from the breeder and litter I wanted. I know you're disappointed, but you chose the breeder and litter for a reason and if I were you, I would have the other puppy that's on offer. If you can, go and visit the litter before the collection day. See the puppy on offer, play with her, cuddle her and then make your decision.

I think it really depends on how you feel about the breeder as a result of this.  I mean, if you feel very negatively towards them and feel resentful and as if they've cheated you of your pup, that's not really a good basis for a lifelong relationship with them and being able to turn to them for support and advice when you need it.  If you feel things are now 'bad' between you after this, it might be an idea to move on. 

Otherwise, if things are still ok, you probably will end up being very happy with whatever pup is assigned to you...

Thank you for your kind advice and concerns...

To be honest...yeah I do feel like being cheated out.
Her reasons were not result of her expertise or professional assessment on our match....it felt like just pure change of mind at last moment nothing more. It was that she just wanted this puppy for herself all the sudden and made it sound like it doesnt even matter what other puppy we get as long as she keeps the one she likes....her reason for this swap had zero respect and concern for us.

Sure breeding and dog adoption shouldnt be strictly business, but she might as well just keep them all and not abuse her position to other potential parents who also has been putting alot of heart and physical effort waiting and looking for
a family member a long time......

You are so right...I think it is more about lost of trust in this breeder that I prob won't get the pup...also If this is the type of treatment and level of experise ppl here are telling me to expect about getting dog from breeder.... then im just disappointed in that itself. If breeder is going to send puppy for adoption and have other people commit emotion, money and time to it, they should take it seriously, set right expectations and respect the arrangements they promised...thats just standard professionalism and basic rules of any human relationships.

> If breeder is going to send puppy for adoption and have other people commit emotion, money and time to it, they should take it seriously,

Really? I don't think the emotion you think you feel for a puppy you've never met is a patch on the attachment that the breeder, who will have spent many, many hours rearing the litter, will have for it.  good breeder will have produced the litter to have one for themselves, and so of course they have 'first dibs'. It also sounds as though you've never met the breeder or the bitch and puppies, so basically you're a total stranger - and why should a total stranger who hasn't made the effort to visit be entrusted with one the these beloved puppies?

Far from 'abusing her position' she's upholding it correctly. Buying a puppy isn't like buying a sofa! Sorry, but I don't think you understand the work involved in rearing a healthy litter.

How do you know what reason the breeder has to choose which of their puppies to keep ? Have they told you ?

The simple fact is, until puppies are sold(not adopted by the way)then the breeder has 100% control of their puppies & who has a chance of buying one. You have no right moral or otherwise to decide for them.

If you were angry last time why go back again ?? Not logical to me.

I don't breed & only have rescue dogs, but can understand a breeder having a hard time deciding which puppy to keep.

Look for another breeder who allows buyers to dictate which puppy they buy & get it in writing when you choose.

Just to put another perspective on this; this lady has bred from her (assumedly) much loved bitch (I won't go into all the work that goes into proving the bitch worthy of breeding, health testing, choosing a suitable mate etc), whelped a litter, seen their first breaths, loved them, cared for them and spent 8 weeks getting to watch their eyes open, their first steps, their little personalities develop etc etc, but you have more right to choose your puppy than the breeder does? Do you think she breeds just to keep other people happy? You should feel humbled that she is allowing you to have one of the puppies at all, I know I am very particular about who I will let take one of my babies.

>>good breeder will have produced the litter to have one for themselves, and so of course they have"

I didnt say I disagree with that. And she did have her first pick and she had multiple chances throughout all this time . Then at last moment she changes mind and other ppl are just supposed to accept whatever choice left? Why do that to someone else...

And you are right that maybe this dog breeding community is just different and I dont understand the whole picture..but ..coming from just common person's perspective, a baby was anticipated..a specific one..then taken w.o any warnings..and all this time misled is into false hope...I dont agree that she upheld anything. And she is the one that assigned her to us from the start.

>>How do you know what reason the breeder has to choose which of their puppies to keep ? Have they told you ?

Yes she said its bc she wants the puppy and she just changed her mind. It was nothing more.

>>The simple fact is, until puppies are sold(not adopted by the way)then the breeder has 100% control of their puppies & who has a chance of buying one. You have no right moral or otherwise to decide for them.

Yeah sure but its all about expectations and clearly..she skipped out on all that and made it seem like we were for sure going to get the puppy for long time.

>>If you were angry last time why go back again ?? Not logical to me.

That was a different breeder who kept changing their mind constantly, and who ended up giving the puppy to someone else w.o notification and even after receiving a deposit from us.

I understand breeder will be more attached to the pups then the potential owners....then she should just keep them all or find someone who will not complain whatever she does at anytime she wants. But she should AT LEAST let that person know thats the deal they are walking into.

I guess the conclusion is..... I wont be getting a puppy.

How sad.

It is the only conclusion to this if you dont see that the puppy offered to you is also a lovely puppy with the same potential to be an adorable pet as the one you are fixated on.

But thank you everyone if ever check back, who gave me your advice and opinions. I learned alot and got to see other side of things. Maybe this was just fate.

The breeder is with the puppies 24/7, they may have promised you a specific one because they were planning to keep one of the opposite sex or a better show prospect. However breeders are human, perhaps they simply fell in love with your puppy and can't part with it. I know it's disappointing but you've only seen photos, they have been living with them.

I had a similar thing many years ago. As owner of the sire of a borzoi litter I asked for pick of litter as my stud fee. I chose a lovely boy at 6 weeks old but by the time I went to collect him at 8 weeks his breeder had fallen in love with him and just couldn't part with him. That's life I'm afraid. I wasn't angry with the breeder about it., she had been doing everything for these pups, they were her babies.

I don't understand why you are prepared to cut off your nose to spite your face. The other puppy is every bit as suitable for you as the original one and you have never even seen any of them. However if you no longer have a friendly relationship with the breeder you'd be better looking elsewhere. If you do, you should not expect to have any leverage over which puppy you will get its just not realistic and perhaps we have helped you understand that and see it from the breeders point of view.

Could it possibly be that you don't handle not getting your own way very well? You are making it sound a bit of " my way or the highway" why not at least visit the puppy and then pass judgement? All pups are adorable so within minutes I'm sure you will fall in love with your new baby whether it's your first second or last choice. Why not sleep on it before deciding. Good luck whatever you decide

> within minutes I'm sure you will fall in love with your new baby whether it's your first second or last choice

This is so true. We recently got a collie pup, I would choose a silken based on show quality at 6 weeks but this is a working bred collie. We found a litter we liked and were happy to have any boy from that litter. The breeder said we didn't have a choice but it would be one of the two tri colours. Our whole family liked the one with the wide blaze and we hoped he would be ours. When we found out a few days later that the narrow blaze was to be ours we looked at the photos again and whatdya know, narrow blaze was suddenly so much more handsome, in fact wide blaze looked goofy and gormless and narrow blaze intelligent and knowing... we didn't see that before. Your own dog is always the best one 

That happened to me a few years back except after 10 weeks of sending me pics I was told there wasn't a puppy for me at all. On the one hand as a breeder myself, I understand they breed for themselves and they have to make their own choice of puppy the priority. OTOH it was unwise of them to promise you a particular puppy, if they had any doubt they should have said 'you will be getting one of these two (or three etc) but you will not be able to choose until I have picked my keeper at 8 weeks' or something similar. And I've done that too, got myself confused and half promised the same puppy to two different people, the second of which was furious when I explained the mix up. Daft thing was the 2 available bitches were near-identical in that litter, though I accept it was my own fault for making the mix up. I think it's going to be your personal choice whether you accept the puppy that is now available, or walk away and look for another litter. I do feel for you though, having been on both sides!

Sorry you obviously don't understand, puppies are not inanimate objects produced to fulfill the public demand. When as others have written you spend nigh on 24/7 with them for upto 8 weeks, the relationship develops far more than with someone who has only seen pictures of them & yes the breeder had the right to change their mind right up the minute the full price is handed over. A friend of mine had promised a puppy to a friend in Australia, flights etc all arranged, but when it came to it they just couldnt face never seeing him again, so he stayed with them all his life & the friends though very disappointed understood & never did get a puppy of the breed, but did get a lovely dog from an Australian breeder.

As to the other breeder who you paid a deposit to I do hope you had your day in court as per the written contract you had from the 1st breeder

Just reading through this and all the replies. The breeder's position in having pick of the litter is understandable and one we would all support. However, on the face of it, it does seem as though she instilled unrealistic expectations in the buyer and one wonders why? It sounds as though she is an experienced breeder and on that basis should not have promised a particular pup to the buyer unless she intended to honour that. I think seeing it from a buyer's perspective the behaviour looks a bit shabby, to be frank.

For the buyer, it might be best to walk away as your trust in this breeder has been damaged and you want to have a good relationship with the person you buy from. If you decide to buy from another breeder try to clarify from the outset whether you can choose a pup. A good and honourable breeder will surely tell you that this will not be possible until they have decided which pup/s they are keeping or running on.

I too understand the frustration a buyer can experience when trying to source a puppy.   BUT from the other side of this situation, I had a litter which should have been 9 puppies but in the end, only 4 survived.   Because this was a unique litter (both parents were imports) there was interest from other breeders.  I'd decided to keep at least the bitch I felt had the best promise, meaning the other 3, two dogs and a bitch, were 'available'.  I had 2 people come to see them, one I'd agreed to let the other bitch and one of the 2 males go to.  The other person, booking the second dog, kept bugging me from the time she came to view, even re registered names.   In the end, I really felt she was going to be at me, for his entire life with one thing or another, so finally I decided to keep him, with his sister.  Yes, she was upset but at the end of the day, they were 'my puppies'.   Pity I let the other two go where they initially went, but that's another story.

I think, especially as you haven't actually seen the puppy you hoped to have, you have two choices - either go see the puppies and then make your decision, or cut and run now.   It does help to be on good terms with the person you buy from!  My opinion.

I as a breeder changed my mind on the puppy I was keeping - I wanted a puppy for showing and told all my perspective puppy buyers this when they were accepted as puppy buyers.

At 6 weeks I made my choice - then at 7 weeks changed my mind, because I thought the second choice was a better show prospect.

I notified the puppy buyers of their puppy - one person didn’t like the fact they didn’t get the puppy they wanted - they didn’t want the puppy allocated, they thought they should have the puppy they wanted.....even though I had been upfront about keeping one that I hadn’t even chosen as yet.

That person didn’t have a puppy at all— I have to say, to me, it was their loss.....I found the puppy they refused a lovely home, and I have the better show prospect!

Breeders have always made it clear to me that they had first choice as they might want a puppy from the litter if it has showing potential.  Always been fine with that.  I did get a tad disappointed once when I was told I could have first choice of the boys in the litter and when I arrived at first viewing I was told that one of the three boys had gone, another had an ulcer on his eye leaving just one left so no decision to make really.  I didn't say anything as they are her pups and she is entitled to do what she wants with them.  I had also chosen to wait for her litter so there was no way I was going to not have one of the pups.  I understand your disappointment but hopefully like me you can get over it quickly and get the pup that is meant to be with you.

I think we are agreed that it is perfectly fine for a breeder to get to choose the pup they want to keep and to allocate the others to homes.  The OP is not debating that. 

But for the breeder to lead the OP to believe they could choose - and then to withdraw that choice from them - seems very unfair and I can understand why the OP is miffed by that.  Breeders should always be up front and honest about how they will place puppies and whether people get to choose or not.  Transparency is just part of being a good breeder.

Why should people who pull out of wanting a puppy always be called 'time-wasters', when breeders who renege on what they have agreed to are thought to be perfectly fine???

Altough I can kind of see both sides to this,  if the OP took the other pup I would be a bit concerned that the pup might always be thought of as "second best" . Not the ideal start for a pup in its new home.  just a thought.

The OP hasn't visited the puppy so how can you "choose"a pet without ever visiting the breeder ?

I once choose a puppy the day he was born, because he had unique markings his 3 brothers were classically marked. I visited him at 4 weeks, 5 weeks & collected him at 6 weeks. I had 1 pick of the dog puppies from before they were even conceived as the breed was never going to keep a pup. He is still with me & is the only dog I have bought in over 20 years. The other puppies were all sold & the breeder retired from breeding after this litter due to ill health.

I would never choose a pure pet via videos & photos, I would expect to visit at least once to make the decision if there was a puppy I liked.