Morning all
I got a new dog nearly 3 weeks ago, he's a 4 year old Labrador and I know how well behaved he's been with his old owner but since I've had him he won't listen to me.
I know He's had a massive change in his life but he is really hard work, when I take him for walks he never wags his tail until home time, when I shout him he runs back to his bed. It's as if he associates his name with his owner and he freaks out about it! (He's never been abused)
I've tried all sorts and I'm just worried he'll never bond with me? I fear letting him off his lead in case he runs off and I'm just unsure when I should expect him to settle down...
Can anyone advise please

He's only been with you a short time and I expect he is sad because he is missing his old owner and has yet to see you as his new owner. The bond won't come just out of the blue especially if you continue to shout at him for whatever reason.

Try training him, it's a marvellous way to bond with a dog. Arm yourself with some tasty treats, not just his kibble, something special like some cooked sausage or cheese, get a clicker, Google and watch the Kikopup videos on clicker training, she is a marvellous trainer. This way your new dog will start to look to you for guidance and that bond will begin to form.

Thanks for your reply. I wondered if I was asking too much too soon
Also when I said I shout him I meant call his name, never have I shouted at him as I understand he's confused
I suppose time will help and also I'll continue training with him :-)

I took a young bitch back from an owner who didn't want her any more ( she was by my stud dog).
For the first few weeks she was very depressed, low spirited and not very lively for a young boxer.
It took about a month for her to accept her new life then she blossomed into a happy, friendly and very stable girl.
I changed her name by the way..I think it helps and they pick it up very quickly.

Some dogs just take time where others just breeze through change.
Good luck.

In time he will settle.  It's all new and confusing for him too. Keep walking him,playing with him and it will get better. Lots of luck x

I have wondered if changing his name would make it better?
Since he's 4 I don't know if it would make it better or worse, if I do decide to change it would it be better doing that now or when he's settled better?
Maybe it would confuse him too much

I'm not sure to be honest...

Great to have someone comment with previous experience, some people said he'd only need a couple of weeks to settle which is why I worried he may never bond properly since He's still very shy.
I thought getting him an adaptil collar may help him but not heard much feedback on them?

Re change of name....dogs are called a huge number of things.
Ask any dog owner they have a range of comic nick names for their dogs.
I have a Flavia who is Flivvy, Flav, flover..answers to them all...LOL

FLAVIA is her 'naughty' name but say Flivvy and she wiggles...worth a try

A lot of rescues use T Touch practitioners to gain a dogs trust. It.isn't as expensive as a behaviourist & you can learn T Touch massage yourself. Not met a dog yet that didn't end up loving it.

What is T Touch please?

It's worth trying a nickname if you can think of one that suits him - like Tooolz says there's any number of names most dogs respond to. Mine include Twirly Girl, Supergirl, Potty Lottie, Ratbag, Oi You.... :-D :-D

T touch is a kind of massage which helps build confidence , relaxes and general improves an animals well being although my practitioner friends wI'll hate me if they read that explanation .look up Sarah Fisher and tellingtin touch it will tell you more.it's very interesting and worth considering for anyone

Changing his name won't have any negative effects, and it's easy to teach: just say your chosen name and give him something tasty with half a second (you'll want him sat watching you first).  Repeat a dozen times, couple of times a day for a few days.  Job done and he'll come running when he hears it!

Some dogs do only take a couple of weeks to settle in - some take much, much longer.

Thank you furriefriends

With my recent pup I didn't name him for over a week- just called him puppy.  I then named him but it never felt right so I renamed him, after a few weeks.  He knows his new name.  I agree with what someone else said about using different nicknames and they still somehow know you're talking to them.

I've had several rescues over the years, some from really bad backgrounds.  Despite their issues I think it can be easier to bond with them than a dog from a good home as badly treated dogs are often just grateful for a kind word, a walk and decent regular food, also our expectations aren't as high as with a dog from a previous good home. 

The dog will be grieving over their loss and just needs a little time.  I think it's a good thing that they are grieving as it shows that they're capable of a strong attachment, which I'm sure will develop with you, given time.

Great posts from the forum members, it will take time and dogs will vary in their willingness to bond, I would have thought that food with a lab would be a great start, try cutting down his main meal and replacing with high value treats so he is keen to be with you. Someone told me that they bonded with their rescue by taking him absolutely everywhere with them which is great of course if you can be with him 24/7 and I suppose it could lead to later anxiety if you stop doing it. I am sure you will get a bond with him and lovely of you to take on a 4 year old.

It can take a while with a new rescue - I have three of them. I agree with changing the name - new home new name

It can take up to six months for a rescue dog to become it's true self. I treated my new dogs as though they were puppies each time - even if they are well trained when you get them (mine weren't )

I went back to basics with house training - one of mine was an outdoor dog who spent most of his time on a chain and hadn't lived in a house. Remembering to take him outside on a regular basis worked really well and he never had an accident indoors at all - he never asks to go out but I can tell when he needs to. I spent a lot of time just being with him and playing with him - he had no idea what a toy was and the first time I threw a ball for him he just hit the deck in total submission - heartbreaking. Now his favourite game is anything that involves a ball.

It took me a year for him to allow me to brush him all over - he had lots of matts that I had to cut off him bit by bit over the course of a month. It took him a long time to allow me to clip his nails and I can still only do 3 or 4 at a time before he has had enough. He has learnt that hands can be kind but still jumps if I move my legs suddenly if they are near him - crossing my legs or stretching them out when he is beside me still worries him.

We have a great bond now and although he loves to run he constantly runs back to me just to check all is well.

Be patient, don't put too much pressure on your new rescue and the bond will come with time.

You will get a good relationship with him in time. As suggested, do some training with him (at a school or at home.) This develops a real rapport with your dog. You can't take him everywhere you go whilst it is hot and please, please don't let him off lead on walks until he has really bonded with you and will return to you if he is worried or when you call and reward him. Start in the garden. Call his name in a friendly tone, rattle a noisy pot at the same time and, if he knows "sit"  tell him to sit when he gets to you and immediately reward him with a treat such as cheese, cocktail sausages, chicken, etc. You will get there. Be patient. What is his history by the way?

> using different nicknames and they still somehow know you're talking to them.<br />

Most definitely.  I have a Long Coat Chihuahua bitch that I bred myself.  Her name is (my affix) Gypsy Girl.  She is black all over.  When I go down to the caravan my sitter insists on calling her Blackie (annoys the hell out of me.)  But she comes to all, even when I call down the garden Whipsy come in now.  I have a bitch called Rosie, and for some reason I call her Roo Roo.  But she comes to it. 

It seems like really early days. It must be hard for both of you. Don't worry I think it will just take time. I am sure youare really kind

Hi There, dogs don't just bond with people they also bond with their territory. I am guessing but your boy will have spent his first 4 years marking and patrolling 'his patch' and has now been moved to a new area full of new smells, doggy marks etc., and will be missing his own familiar sniffs and marking spots. When I moved from Ireland to Scotland 20ish years ago my dog, a collie spaniel cross was completely heart broken. He was 100% my dog but I didn't dare let him off lead for over 3 weeks until I saw his tail go up and his swagger come back. Then I knew he was making this place his patch. Before that he had a kink in his tail, it just drooped down mid way and I just knew that if i had let him loose he would have run off and tried to get home. Your boy's world has completely changed so just be there for him, lots of treats (I agree with other posters on that, especially with a lab!), routine and the same walk over and over to get him used to all the new smells and get him to put his mark down too. Look at his body language, when his tail goes up and he swaggers he is a happy dog and ready to move on.
Following on with the name change theme, my dogs have always had more than one name, short one for affectionate moments, medium one for usual recall etc., longer one for when they are naughty. Same as us, the whole point of a middle name is to let you when you were really in trouble.....

Really good post Gundog Girl.
It probably goes a bit of a way to explain my dogs behaviour when we go to our static. As its a five hour journey for us we tend to stay three to four weeks before returning home and are unlikely to return back to the static until at least six weeks later. The first 24 hours or so she is out of kilter, unsettled,  not quite so responsive when out, yet she loves being here and all her smells and things are here and so are we, but of course, it's different and not the place she thinks of as home. Hadn't really thought of it before.

Thank you Jodi, I hope that different insight helps.