One of my dogs is 14 1/2. She is in good health for her age but I am realistic enough to know that her time it limited now. I know I am not going to cope well when the time comes to make the last trip to the vets and to help make it easier I am trying to get straight in my mind what I will do when the day comes.

The thing that is worrying me most is what to do at the vets. I have had a dog PTS in the past and now my first picture when I think of him is of him at the vets on his blanket, gone. I find it upsetting that even now nearly 10 years later that is how I remember him. I dont want that with my girl. if I dont stay with her and see her once she has gone then I wont have that picture in my mind. But how can I send her on that journey without me with her? I can get a family member to stay with her but I feel I ought to be the one to stay. another worry is that she will know I am upset and it will upset her too. I will try to be strong but I am not sure if I will be able to hide it from her.

Has anyone any thoughts about what is the best to do. Thanks

I have always stayed with mine.  I've never had one just go in their sleep, I've always had to love them enough to do the right thing.

The last two were very difficult for me.  Have you thought about having the vet come to you?  It's something that you could consider.  As for being upset, I cried like a baby with mine, but the end is very quick to be fair, and I find that I'm still talking to them long after.  But you could say your goodbyes and leave the room if that would work for you.  Your vet would have already learned that we all have to do what is right for us.  There is no right or wrong way.

Have you decided if you want to bury her at home, or have her cremated?  If the upset of making any arrangements would prove too much, let your vet take her back with him.  My vet did this for me with one, and he arranged for a private cremation, so that I could have her ashes back.

Nobody can tell you that it's easy.  But I hope I've given you some options.

Jean

Would having the vet come to your home be an option? I got him to come to my home about three years ago to put an old girl to sleep. She was a skittish dog and would have been nervy and scared if we had taken her in to the surgery. The vet was very kind and we all sat together with Tora and talked for a while, before he did the deed. It was all very relaxed and the old girl went off to sleep with a sedative before the final injection was given. We decided to let the vet take her away afterwards as he was able to organise the cremation, but he left her with us for about five minutes or so, so that we could say goodbye properly.
My last dog we had to take down the the surgery as we were knee deep in snow and we only just managed to get out with our 4WD, the vet didn't think he would make it in his car. Sadly Jodi was very ill and ready to go and although I would have preferred the vet to come to the house again, it wasn't possible. He was very sweet and gave her a cuddle and stroked and talked to her as she left us. It was very hard leaving her there and driving back on the icy roads with no dog in the back, but she was so poorly that I couldn't have left her suffering any longer.
For various reasons, these two occasions have been the only times that I have been with one of my dogs when they have been pts. It's the hardest thing that we have to do when owning animals. I'm glad that I was with those two when they died however upsetting it was for me. I still feel guilty of chickening out over 27 years ago when a particularly well loved dog was pts, I should have been there for her.

I don't know how to advise you, it's purely a personal thing, but I would hate for you to feel as guilty as I still do about that one dog, all these years later.

I lost my dog in a billion back in March. I can remember bringing her in, I can remember leaving, I can remember crying harder than EVER in my life before -but I cannot remember the rest, or picture her on the floor at the vets. I've blanked it out. I used to say it was better to leave an animal if you were too upset, I no longer believe that. I could not imagine not being with them.

I had everything planned out years in advance, so I knew what to request. Which was just as well. I always knew it would be hard, but it was a million times worse -despite having been through it so, so many times before.

One thing I had planned and got done was I requested ashes back, not sealed in a casket but in a bag, so I cold use some of them to have a ring made. I now wear my stone with ashes on a gold ring all the time and she's close to me again, it's a comfort.

I've recently had to PTS a 14 year old and I have to say my vet made it as easy as possible.
She came to my home with her nurse, my dog laying on a soft rug in our living room.
All very calm and private, no uncomfortableness...all the time I wanted with her before and after.

When she'd gone I went out into the garden with my others and she took her away for me for cremation.

So my memories are of my old girl laying where she always did, peaceful and comfortable.

I had my 10yr old girl PTS in April, at home.  She was the best dog I've had, one in a million and I'm still struggling with losing her and will be for a long time yet.

I rang the vet in the morning and booked them to come out to me - unless it's unavoidable or in the dog's best interests, I will always have my dogs PTS in their own home.  They were very kind, took it gently and did things how I wanted them done.  They offered to help me get her into the car but I declined - with the last dog I accepted but she was going straight to the crematorium, Opi I couldn't take until the next day and I didn't want her left in the car overnight.  Also being that special kind of dog, I wanted the others to see her.  It was hard, and Willow particularly struggled to understand why she wasn't being grumbled at any more but in the end she just went and sat with her body for a little while then came away and that was that.

The only dog I've not stayed with was my little min pin, but it wasn't possible or fair to him - he went in for x-rays and I knew then he probably wouldn't come out, so I said my goodbyes while he was drifting off under sedation.  Once we knew what was wrong, he wasn't woken up again.

My belief is, they have given us so much in life, we cant deny them that last little comfort of being with them when they go on their way........I want the last person they see to be me, and my voice whispering to them  as they go,

I think we owe it to them to be there regardless of the upset we feel.

i also think it may help if you have plans in place, try and get all your ducks in a line before you have to make that decision (if possible)

Speak to your vet,  they may come to your home, decide if you want them to deal with the body for you,or would you be happier taking your pet to the crematorium yourself,

I had my vet on speed dial,  and the crematoriums number in my phone,  when I knew the vet was coming I spoke to the crem, and they were waiting for me to bring my dog(s)  , I went back the next day to pick him/her up and they are both now sitting in the dining room  .

I could not do it any other way but be there for them when they go,  I also  dealt with the cremation myself.

We all have to do what is best for us, but if you think things through and decide how and when, it may help you  a little.

Where ever possible, mine are always pts at home.
I have an abiding memory of my friends dog lying dead on the floor of the vets after being pts, and thought at the time " none of mine are leaving this world like that ".
I know it's not for everyone, one friend thinks pts at home is horrible, as she feels she couldn't stop thinking " such and such, died there ". But I actually find that a comfort, my biggest regret was my boy Spud, I had always thought I would have him pts in the same place he came into this world, in my bedroom.
As it turned out, he was rushed to the emergency vet having a seizure that couldn't even be controlled enough for him to come home and be pts, and so he ended his life on the floor of the vets, and I can't ever forgive myself for that.
If you do decide to pts at home, you do have to think in advance and give the vet some notice, it's not really fair to phone up and expect them to drop everything. Mine normally arranges to come in his lunch hour, or at the end of the day.

My special boy died suddenly in the garden 4 years ago now, I came home to find him. It was almost certainly a heart attack and sudden and painless, but I will always regret not having been there with him when he died, though I know what you mean about picturing them lying there dead, I think of him as I found him in the garden, as well as picturing him alive. If a family member that she knows and loves is willing to be there with her I don't see why that wouldn't work, you could say your goodbyes as the vet sedates her, then leave the room while she is just sleeping before they send her on her way.

I believe that hoe is best in most circumstances. My gsd when the time came was lying in the sun in the garden. the vet arrived explained everything to me and I held her while the vet gave her the drug. I was then left for awhile with Her until I was ready to have her body taken away.
Although I was beside myself but I strongly believe this was better than any other option.
Strangely all my cats I have taken to the vet and still cuddled them all the way through.
My Joise sadly had bloat and the vet opened her up and then rang me saying she could not be saved would I like to have her brought round or what should the vet do. That case was different and I felt it kinder to let her go there and then than be brought round in pain for my benefit.

Whatever choice you make it is hard. My friend is going through exactly this this morning as I type but is hoping it will be at home :(
  

Just tagging on to the end, not replying to anyone in particular. So many people have said to have the vet come home, and I wanted to add my view as I would hate it for anyone to start feeling guilty for going to the vet. Certainly in my case, I am CERTAIN the stress would be a lot higher by having the vet come to the house. A stranger arriving at the house, which means everyone will start barking, and then discovering it is the VET of all possible visitors -I can almost guarantee I would have a lot of dogs not happy to let the visitor in (after all, my breed guards, and would never let anyone in unless I was with them), and not going quiet as I would have to be with the sick dog and not with them so would not be able to settle them. It would be anything but a quiet and peaceful experience for the dog due to be PTS, it would be a stressful and noisy time. I would also REALLY hate it more to see the vet carry my dead dog out of my house, when I had little option but to witness it -quite possibly being put into a black binliner, than leaving the dog at the vets. (THAT is the first memory I have of a dog of mine being PTS, being put inside a black binliner and being put inside the vet's car.) At least at the vet you are spared that part.

What works for one person does not work for all.

What works for one person does not work for all.

I agree,  but I also think it helps to get other experiences...  for me (and this is only me)  i need to see it through from start to end,  I need to be there , where at vets or at home,  and I also need to be the one to take my dog to the crematorium, 

When I took Millie,  we put her in the car in her fav blanket,   when we got to the crem he came out with a dog bed, he and my hubby carried her inside  wrapped in her blanket, we had a few mins to say goodbye and left,  it was serene and tranquil... the same went for my boy, we took him and placed him in  a basket.

That may not be for everyone , but it helped us..  the thing I did not want was my dog being PTS at the vets or home and the body being left in the freezer till the crematorium did its collection , something you can  find out about to add to your check list.

Like others, I think that it is very personal and unique to you and your dog.

I lost my soul mate a year ago and he really was the most special dog that I have ever shared my life with, he had been very ill with heart problems and we thought that the time had come late one Friday evening, he was admitted to the vet to see if there was any hope. Amazingly we had another 3 good months with him after that, the vet called it a resurrection. The morning that we lost him I will never forget. He collapsed and couldn't get up again, being 50 kilos it was very hard trying to move him but we managed to get him into the car and I suppose, looking back, we were hoping for another miracle. It wasn't to be. At the vets they tried him on another medication and he managed to stand up but when it was time to leave, he collapsed again and then I knew, he gave me that look that said "I've had enough" if he could have walked out of there, I know that he would have done.

My boy went to sleep after the sedative. I don't think that you can plan exactly for these things, rather have an idea of how you want it to be and do your best given the circumstances when they happen. I don't think that there is a right or wrong way. I was scared that I would be too stressed and this would then upset my boy, he always hated seeing me upset but it was all such a blur that I don't think I could truly take in what was happening. My OH couldn't be in the room, I have never seen him so helpless and upset, yet if you had asked us, we both would have said that he would be the one to be there and support our boy not me as we were so very close and he was my dog more so than a family dog as ironic as that sounds! Sometimes I think that you can just be too close...but that is just me.

I spent the last few years of his life absolutely dreading when that day would come and was convinced that I wouldn't cope and let him down but in the end, when it really mattered to him and me, I didn't. Talking to my vet afterwards he said that it is wrong to feel that you let them down if you cannot bear to be there at the end as it is the life that you give them that is important. I took some comfort from this, its such a personal decision that you can only do what you are capable of at the time. If I had been too distressed I would have left the room as I know this would have been kinder to my boy, as it was, he didn't know anything about it and probably wasn't even aware that I was with him.

>My belief is, they have given us so much in life, we cant deny them that last little comfort of being with them when they go on their way........I want the last person they see to be me, and my voice whispering to them  as they go,<br /><br />I think we owe it to them to be there regardless of the upset we feel.<br />

That's how I feel, and in addition, as I avhe bred all my current dogs, I saw them into the world and want to see them out.

Thanks very much for all the thoughts. I hadnt thought about having a vet come to the house so that is something to think of. she hates the vets at the best of times and has  most of her consults in the car in the car park so maybe that would be an option. Although not sure I want the memory of her in  my car either :(
What would be best would be for her to live forever

Being with a person or a pet that you really love in their final moments is the kindest thing for them. The comfort of seeing your face or feeling your touch as they slip away is incredibly special. It's not easy but I couldn't walk away ever. The tears and sadness afterwards are normal and just shows how much they were loved. I couldn't leave a pet with a virtual stranger as the last person they saw, I want it to be me always.

Sorry If I've missed this in these posts but didn't I read in a similar thread sometime ago, that a member had been given a sedative to give her dog before the vet arrived. Thought it was an excellent idea, reducing the stress of seeing the vet in their home.

I had to say goodbye to my GSD 5 weeks ago, he had severe heart problems and collapsed late on a Sunday evening. He could not get up, I rang my vets, hoping for a home visit and was transferred to the vet on call, it was the PDSA. The one and only vet wasn't available for a home visit. We were asked to take him in. It was impossible to lift him, he was so distressed, when we tried to move him. I rang them back and told them we couldn't move him and he stayed where he was all night, until the vet could come out Monday morning. I had no idea that my vet did not come out in an emergency. The end was peaceful at home, but I was very angry that I couldn't have the visit at home, when I wanted it. All owners need to ask the question at their vets regarding out of hour emergencies.