A True Story (TOLD TO ME BY A BLONDE GUY!!!)..........

FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS-

Five blondes walk into a bar chanting "FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS" and order a bottle of champagne and five glasses. Every so often they break out out into their chant "FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS".

A short time afterwards 4 more blondes walk in chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days" and they join the five already there. More champagne is ordered and they start getting seriously noisy working themselves up to a frenzy of chants of "FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS".

Another blonds walks into the bar carrying a beautifully framed picture which she takes over to the nine other blondes where she is greeted by absolute pandemonium as she shows them the picture. The chants of "FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS" nearly bring the roof down.

By this time, as in all stories like this, the barman can no longer contain his curiosity and taking his life in his hands he wanders over to the blondes who are by now seriously wrecked and having a wonderful time and still shouting at the tops of their voices "FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS".

The barman asks to see the picture and they show to him and start shouting again "FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS". He looks at the picture and it is a picture of the Cookie Monster made out of a jigsaw puzzle. He asks them why they are making such a fuss of a picture of the Cookie Monster.

At first all he could get out of them was "FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS". Eventually, when they had calmed down, the leader, the one who had brought the picture with her explained.

"Well", she said " we are fed up with people always going on about how dumb blondes were. So we set out to prove them wrong. We bought this puzzle and even though it said two to four years on the box we completed it in ONLY FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS, FIFTY ONE DAYS".

Okay folks ....this was told to me by my BLONDE husband

Blonde sees a brunette standing by a busy road saying "12 , 12 , 12"
Blonde says to brunette "Oooh that looks like fun ..can I join in?"

"Sure" said the brunette and they both stand there ...watching the cars and saying "12 , 12 , 12"

After a while , the brunette turns to the blonde and says "Its more fun if you stand in the middle of the road .." and the blonde walks into the road and promptly gets run over

The brunette watches and then says "13 , 13 ,13 "

:D

Melody

Hi all

Not sure if you have heard this one advertised on a audience with Kenn Dodd.

Why do blondes like BMW's?

Because they can spell it :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

( I am naturally blonde although I do dye my hair brunette)

I am naturally blonde although I do dye my hair brunette

Okay, I'll bite since my curiosity's been riffed, why do you dye your hair brown?
toodles

Maybe DOGS just prefers it?

Melody

Blonde Goes into a garage & says i need a new 710 for the middle of my engine, it seems to have gone missing.
The confused mechanic says what is it you need?
A 710 she replies
Where does it go he asked puzzled
The 710 goes in the middle of the engine she replies
can you show me on this car he askes still puzzled
there it is she says pointing at it
he looks down at the item oh!! he says !!!! the OIL cap?

Bimbo in disguise,
Joke Heidi I promise
mari :D

Mari :)

I do not like (personally) blonde hair, I think it looks ok on people but do not like it myself.

The reason I dye it for is because as I have got older it started to go a "dirty" blonde so I dye it these days.

My dads favourite saying to bottle blondes is

"You have lovely blonde hair, so why do you dye your roots black?"

Thats one thing I hate to see myself, I can guess how hard it is to maintain your hair blonde if you are naturally dark, but why do certain people let all their roots shine through?

No offense to people that dye their hair blonde :) :)

Quite understandable, Heidi. :)
I'm a brunette with a lot of different colors in my hair....the black has kept it on the dark side of brown ever since I was a child. Unfortunately, as I'm getting older, the black is turning white, the brown is heading blondewards, and the auburn is becoming lighter --- so I might be joining you in dying darker too :) :D

I don't think that the combination of black eyebrows + white & dk blond hair would ever look good on me :D :D :D

Well I DO LIKE my blonde hair - trouble is, it seems to be getting blonder - could it be that I'm going grey?!!!!!!!! Heavens above, I'll have to get the dye on it ( and I'll try it on the dog too as she's a bit grey-ish and everyone thinks that she's older than she is - only joking!)

Hi tooodles

Black eyebrows and blonde hair is not the best combination is it :) :) :) :) :) :) :) lol

Well when I'm in the "old woman, I shall wear purple" mode, I think I might like the effect as a true 'drama queen' should ;) I think it will detract attention from my wrinkles that I will humbly display instead of the 'deer in the headlights' vision of Botox treatments ;) :D
:Cool:

"and run my stick along the railings !!!!"

You are the first person I've known Sara who knows of that piece of work :D :D
My Mother used to read it and tell me that is how she'll be but not seen a mention of it by anyone for years . Thanks for making me smile :)

the visions of lovelyness that are all running through my mind-leave me speechless :D :D
LIZ

Hahahaha - my mum used to read it to me as well, and has a copy of it stuck up in BOTH of her kitchens !!!!!!!! :) :)

Beth

see Beth - I knew we were kindred spirits ;)

My job for tomorrow is that email I promised :D

Sara x

wearing the purple
For those who think we've gone off the pier ;) :D

And I wear purple quite often, though I'm definitely not old ;) :D
:Cool:

Eoghania

Thanks for the link, I was wandering what you talking about for a mintue then :)

Where do you find all those links from? :) :) :)

Search engines, of course ;) ;) :)
google
alta-vista
are my favorites

OK I am a true blonde but I had to ask my husband to explain the 710 joke.
He just laughed and went to work so could someone please explain it to me.

Dumb Blonde!!!

Longdog, try turning 710 upside down and reading it, or OIL, if you prefer!:D
LynnT (a fast-fading red-head)

Thanks Lynn

A very red faced blonde :) :) :) :)

Don't feel bad, I couldn't figure out the 'joke' either until it was explained. :) I've never paid attn to what's written on an oil cap. (hung out with mechanics from a young age, so I've never had to look hard to find it :rolleyes: ) The joke was completely lost for me. I just chalked it up to some mysterious Brit slang term for oil :) :D

Sara,
I'd never heard of the poem till I read this thread and then, would you believe it, I heard someone on TV last night reading the poem. I hadn't been paying attention but I think it's an advert for the Prudential life assurance.
Dot

3 blondes on an Island

>1 finds a lamp & rubs it & out pops a Genie
>I can grant you all a wish he says
>First blonde says can you make me into an 'brown haired'
>He does & she swims of the Island

>second blonde says can you make me into a 'red head'
>He does & she rows of the Island

Third blonde says can you make me into 'auberne'

>He does & she walks over the bridge back to work!!!!!!!!!!!!

Verrrry EvIl, Climber ;) :rolleyes: :D :Eek: