My 4 yr old Border Terrier has been staying at a friends farm while I've had some building work done, and I thought the noise and disruption would be too stressful for her as she's quite a timid dog. She quickly settled in very well with my friend and their busy household, and has even stopped some of her neurotic ways eg: licking feet, going almost hysterical when I'm preparing her meals etc. Normally its just her and me (I'm retired now) living a quiet life. She's never appeared to be a very loyal dog, unlike all the other dogs I've had in my life. She's due home sometime next week and now I'm having a total loss of confidence in that I'm not the right person for her, nor my quiet lifestyle. She came to me at 13 weeks old and has never been away from me since. I adore her and I hate to think of her not being happy.
Can anyone advise how best to settle her back home. A few of the workman are still here but all the noise and bustle has stopped.
I'm just desperate to do the right thing for my girl.
Sorry for the rant.

She quickly settled in very well with my friend and their busy household, and has even stopped some of her neurotic ways eg: licking feet, going almost hysterical when I'm preparing her meals etc.

And this makes you feel that she doesn't want to come home?

Anyone with a rescue dog will tell you it can take months for their true personalities to come out, a dog going to a different home with a different routine will not be themselves, the neurotic ways as you describe them will not be there as she is not being herself at the moment, these things may well return within 6 months of being somewhere else, or she may well just find new ways to communicate her wants and needs.

She's your dog, you've had her for 4 years, I couldn't dream of letting any dog I had reared, cared for, trained and loved go somewhere else unless for a very good reason and you certainly should not think that is what she wants and even if it were, she's your dog. :-)

She's never appeared to be a very loyal dog,

It's worrying that you say she has never appeared to be a very loyal dog? Maybe this is misunderstood, single dogs particularly during puppyhood and adolescence are more likely to be more interested in their own kind, she's an intelligent breed who will be interested in doing things to exercise her brain and be interested in other people and seeing what is going on, along with being independent........that does not mean that she is unhappy at home with you, as she ages she will bond closer and closer to you and you can strengthen that bond by training games and joining things like agility. (If you're interested)

I'm having a total loss of confidence in that I'm not the right person for her, nor my quiet lifestyle.

If you really think that your dog would be happier having a different lifestyle and living on your friends farm, then yes it would be a great life for your dog, no doubt she would love it but, in saying that, think about it...... you are saying that a large percentage of domestic dogs should feel the same and also should not be in homes with single people, now doesn't that sound silly?

Although it is important to match breed to lifestyle, if your girl is well cared for, loved, and gets plenty of the great outdoors which is where most dogs are at their happiest and given attention stop thinking you are not giving her a good life, she's your dog and you need to be confident in that, and do not allow anyone to undermine that.

She'll settle back quick enough, she may bring some bad habits back with her too ;-) but her routine will soon be back to normal, TLC, making a big fuss of her and getting her out and about in the territory she is used to, you'll find her tail wagging very quickly. :-)

The truth is whether a dog is living on a farm, in a mansion, a single person home, or sitting with a homeless person living rough, its their owner they bond with and they get used to whatever lifestyle you have, she's your dog and she will live how you live, if we all start to think as you are at the moment, we may as well give all our dogs away to farms, somehow we seem to give our dogs very happy lives and they love us back for all we put into them..... stop worrying. :-)

Hi Carrington

Thanks so much for your reply. I've been so stressed with all this work going on, I think I've lost my common sense!  You've put all my worries in context. Your repy makes such sense of the things I've been told about her behaviour there.
I can't wait for her to come home.
My grateful thanks again

Glad you are feeling much better about things, we all get stressed and self doubt, but you have no need, you'll both be fine. :-)