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Topic Dog Boards / General / New forum users
- By Dixiedaisy [gb] Date 12.11.13 13:24 UTC Edited 12.11.13 13:26 UTC
I am a member of a few other forums, none of them dog related, and all those forums make it a policy to welcome new users and find out a little about them.

I've only been here a few days and it would appear to me that sometimes new members asking for help or making a comment get shot down in flames by others who seem to imply they know more than the original poster. I can tell that the core group of regular posters on here are extremely knowlegable and have helped many people. But manners cost nothing and how some of the answers are put across could be different.

New posters don't want to be patronised, blasted or contradicted. Because a poster is new to a forum does not mean they are new to dog ownership. And even if they are, they have arrived here for help, friendship & support.

We have a policy on a forum that I'm involved with.....write your post then read it aloud......it's amazing how when you do this you'll soften what can come over as a harsh statement. After all, what is being posted is often a matter of opinion not a matter of fact. We all do things a little differently and that's what makes EVERYONES experiences and opinions worth listening to.

It would be lovely to see more new posters joining in with the great debates on here.

Off to put my tin hat on now.....;)
- By mastifflover Date 12.11.13 14:01 UTC
Hi & welcome to the forum :)

> New posters don't want to be patronised, blasted or contradicted.


If somebody is claiming to seek help, but doesn't want to be contradicted, there is little point in asking for advice in the first pace :)

If somebody wants real, honest advice on dog related matters, this is THE best place to be. If somebody just wants others to give them & hug & smile & say 'there, there, it's not your fault you have no idea what you are doing, we'll all just give you a big hug and chat about cake' then a different forum would be advisable. :)

There are some amazingly knowledgable people on here, that really do know their stuff. They give over their knowledge freely, to help those in need, it may not be sugar-coated, but it's spot on.

This is the place I reccomened to anybody who even vaguely hints they may need guidence or advice on dog-related matters, and it's the first place I'll come to myself.
There is a wealth of support here, it's just a matter of how one goes about things. Just as in dog training, respect between people is a 2 way thing. People come here for advice, advice is given, when the person who ASKED for others opinions in the first place get their knickers in a twist that their ideas have been disagreed with, it's a complete lack of respect for those that took the time to offer advice.

If you stick around long enough you'll see that things are more 'straight talking' rather than 'rudeness' :)
- By LucyDogs [gb] Date 12.11.13 14:41 UTC
I know exactly what you mean! It's very hard, particularly for the more forthright among us, and those who are so very experienced. And it's also hard when people come on with a question that although it may be the first time they have asked, is probably the 3 millionth time the long standing members have seen it asked. I agree that if people are wanting to do something that's a bad idea they will get contradicted - but I also agree that it's important that those longstanding experienced members really try their best to point out gently why it is not a good idea to do xxxx rather than charge in and be too strong worded. :-)
- By tooolz Date 12.11.13 14:51 UTC
Another thing to consider Dixiedaisy .....is that many members are giving away things they have taken years of blood, sweat and tears to learn themselves.

I don't do the 'chummy' approach on forums but if I give advice from my lifetime of owning, breeding and training dogs...for free...Im not enthralled to find the poster only wanted me to rubber stamp their already firmly held opinions.

We get a lot of one off 'Tell me what I want to hear and tell me NOW' type of posts on this forum, they are very hard to respond to with warmth and openness.
Its a modern phenomenon to want the best, up to date, information ..instantly, free of charge and to be given up without an opinion and for the poster to accept no consequences for their actions....but here we have it...the modern world of the internet.
- By Jodi Date 12.11.13 15:35 UTC
Also it would be good to say a thank you to those who have answered especially if they have gone to the effort to give links or given a long and detailed answer.
- By Dill [gb] Date 12.11.13 18:15 UTC
You're right Good manners are important and cost nothing.

But

It's good manners when posting a question, to give as much background information as possible.
It's good manners to give an idea of your relative experience when posting a question.
It's good manners to at least listen to the advice given before ranting about being criticised, patronised or judged.
It's good manners to say thank you for the replies - this very rarely happens.

The very experienced members of this forum give their TIME, KNOWLEDGE, and advice for FREE.   It has taken them years and often, much heartache to amass this experience.   They rarely get a thank you.   Even rarer do they get an update on how things have panned out.

What they do get is loads of people coming on here, asking questions, often of a highly specialized nature and then stamping their feet because they don't like what they hear.  Or complaining that they're being patronised.  Or criticising because those replying haven't been fluffy enough and massaged the egos of the people asking for help.

Personally I think it's very bad manners to join a forum, and start criticising everyone on there, without waiting to find out how things work, and why they work that way.  But then I've probably been here for too long and read and replied to far too many ignorant posters who just want to take all the help they can get and then go off and make money off the back of it without so much as a thank you.
- By samsmum [gb] Date 12.11.13 18:39 UTC
I am newish on here, but have received nothing but helpful advice and kindness when I have a problem. I have owned dogs for many years but cannot claim to be an expert, and when I had a number of problems with my latest rescue the other members here were invaluable.
- By Harley Date 12.11.13 19:49 UTC
The other thing to bear in mind too is that some of the very, very experienced and knowledgeable contributors on this forum have willingly answered the same questions many, many times over the years  but have also seen some threads follow the same pattern - someone asks a question, advice is given, original poster goes off and does exactly what they want to do without taking any of the freely given advice on board at all.

I realise that to new posters their questions are very important - have asked many myself :-) - but they don't always realise that people have answered the same question year in and year out. Nobody minds doing this at all - sharing good information is a great way to educate others and also broadens one's own knowledge- but so often they have seen their answers thrown back in their face or totally ignored and a few months down the line the original poster is back asking another question about a problem which wouldn't have occurred if the advice had been taken note of.

This is a great forum but to new posters it can sometimes seem unfriendly - it's not :-) people are sharing their knowledge and experience gained over many years and sometimes get fed up when they see a thread developing in a particular way.  Having been there many times before they very understandably get frustrated when people ask for help and then are not willing to listen or become defensive and rude in their answers. I can't think of many subjects that haven't been discussed on here - a search through the archives on all things canine will show you a huge number of posts on every topic under the sun and you will also see that the members have been freely giving their help since the forum began :-)
- By tooolz Date 12.11.13 21:11 UTC
Scenario...poster comes on ...says "I've mated my dog, tell me how to whelp it, rear the pups and then how to find suitable homes".
Woe betide anyone who suggests that they maybe they should have thought of some of this before mating the bitch.
- By LucyDogs [gb] Date 12.11.13 21:54 UTC
Oh I totally agree - the problem is suggesting (a) that they should have done that before, (b) what they should therefore be doing now, and ideally (c) to do it properly next time or not at all, in a way that won't put their backs up and send them off to some facebook group that just gives rubbish advice.
- By Goldmali Date 12.11.13 22:28 UTC
I am a member of a few other forums, none of them dog related, and all those forums make it a policy to welcome new users and find out a little about them.

The thing is there are always a LOT of new members here, and many, many of them will just post once and never again. There could be a number of reasons for that, such as most people simply joining because they want to ask a question, and once they have an answer, they don't see a need to stick around. However, when people join with the INTENTION of staying around and so often post specifically to introduce themselves, they are always welcomed.
- By Lacy Date 12.11.13 22:49 UTC
Have been a member for a couple of years now,  admit to being angry when I first posted as had not a good experience with our boys breeder. My biggest regret is that I hadn't found CD earlier, don't post that often but look in most days to see what's going on. I'd just like to say a big thank you to everyone for sharing your knowledge and experience's, have learnt so much & such a relief to know you are all there.
- By Dachlady [gb] Date 13.11.13 07:41 UTC
I must admit I'm probably the worst type of member.....lurk in the background reading everyone's posts but only really join in myself and post when I have a problem or question.....but I have always received straight to the point, no nonsense but very helpful advice.  I do always read everyone's posts and replies though as I find everyone's experience and advise very interesting/invaluable.
- By Brainless [gb] Date 13.11.13 08:38 UTC
Hi,

You'll find most people answer the post not the poster.

for example I never know if a poster is new or old, but I do write my answers in the knowledge they are not just for the person asking but are ready by those searching information on a topic.

Type in any dog question in a search engine and you will see champdogsforum threads come up.

It is an INFORMATION EXCHANGE so often replies are geared to be as full as possible, so can seem preachy or patronising, if your already fairly dog savvy/knowledgeable, as no-one can know the level or lack of knowledge a reader may have.

The more light hearted get to know you posts generally in Idle chat and Foo.  We tend to be more serious in the more important breeding, behaviour and feeding boards.
- By suejaw Date 13.11.13 10:00 UTC
Hi and welcome to the forum.

There are many different types of people on here and many are very helpful and knowledgable.

However I do see some posters putting on thins which aren't at all helpful and damn right rude and don't even give an answer: saw this the other day and thankfully a lovely poster put the answer up which was easy to understand.

If you can't put things across nicely or constructively then I have to say then don't bother posting.

Please do stay around and read and post etc as I've been here years and do go months without posting and then feel compelled to ask/answer a question.

I also say this to new posters, even behind the rudeness there is a deep concern for doing the right thing!
- By hairyloon [gb] Date 13.11.13 10:36 UTC
I don't post that often on here as I sadly don't have a dog at the moment, but have found this forum a great place to find honest information and advice and on the whole I've found people to be friendly, although I have seen some fairly blunt replies to questions at times.

I'm also on a few other (non-dog) forums, and one thing  that I think might help on this forum is an 'introduce yourself' section, where new members can post up a bit about themselves, and people can have a chance to wlecome them - it must be hard as a new person to have to just jump straight in with a difficult questions, and of course, existing members then have no idea whether the person is experienced with dogs or not, unless the poster writes an essay as their first post :)
- By Jan bending Date 13.11.13 10:41 UTC
Oh dear ! Never noticed Idle Chat and Foo ! Now realise some of my posts should have gone on there -First Cuckoo/Weather etc.
Sorry !
- By inka [ie] Date 13.11.13 11:04 UTC
It's a great forum - stick around and it won't be long before you see the friendly and soft side in what are extremely helpful people. I also must admit i'm the type who lurks until I have a question though! :)
- By dogs a babe Date 13.11.13 12:15 UTC
Dixiedaisy  Imagine a room full of strangers - you wouldn't usually just enter and start talking.  Most of us would probably take the time to walk around first and have a listen to what's going on and generally get a feel for the room before we start to express views and answer questions.  There are a few online 'rooms' that I've visited in the pursuit of knowledge that, were they a real life location, I'd have backed out super quick!!

That said, there are clearly times when a new poster is in urgent need of a response and frantically looking for answers.  No one would expect a long winded introduction and most responders are equally brief in their replies.  If I had an emergency question I just want answers and I don't give two hoots about polite.  I'm also pretty good at filtering responses and I do think that some posters see rudeness or condemnation where there isn't any.  Truthfully sometimes they have got things wrong, and they know it - but would prefer to be reassured rather than questioned as the latter makes them feel uncomfortable...

Like many others on here I lurked for a while before starting to post.  I tend to stick to the topics I have experience of and only comment if I think it might be useful.  I don't think I've ever got into a 'row' with anyone but there are some posters that I tend to disagree with - I just do it in my head though if I don't think my comments would add much to the discussion.  I prefer to reply to the original poster, rather that the the other responders.  There are some forum members that I've learned to trust implicitly and a small number who I like to read whatever the topic.  I have a few members on my long term ignore list but real troublemakers don't seem to hang around and they are often a bit of harmless fun anyway.  The expression "light blue touch paper and retire" comes to mind!!

Whatever your dog topic, you'll find a breath of experience on here and some genuinely caring people who, whilst they might be nicer to your dog that you, really have a lot of information to offer you and your canine companions :)
- By Jodi Date 13.11.13 12:26 UTC
Like others I lurked before daring to ask something. When the occasions arises and I think I can help I will put in my two pence worth. Although I've owned dogs most of my life it has been as a pet owner so I don't know a thing about breeding or showing dogs, but have had a bit of experience with my own breed, so occasionally pop my nose out above the parapet. I've been answering posts on puppies as I have one at the moment so feel a kind of kinship and have read others replies with a great deal of interest, still plenty to learn and consider.
Like dogs a babe, I've begun to pick out posters who seem to have a huge amount of knowledge and common sense and read their posts with interest. Yes some people can be blunt and sometimes scary, but not half as bad as another forum I used to belong to. I just gave up with that one as I couldn't believe how nasty some people could be, must have frightened newbies half to death.
A small, but perfectly formed forum as far as I'm concerned.
Topic Dog Boards / General / New forum users

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