I have recently split from my partner and he is now threatening to come and take my dog. He was given the dog by a close friend in December 2012 and when he brought him home we both agreed he would be my dog and if we were to break up that he would stay with me, however I understand that a spoken word isnt legally binding. We split up in Febuary 2013 and me and the dog both came to live with my mum, this was a mutual agreement between me and my now ex partner. But now he is making threats to come and take the dog. The problem I have now is that the person he obtained the dog from is saying that she 'gave the dog to my ex partner and not me', so I have no doubt that if my ex came to take the dog and the police got involved she would say my dog belongs to my ex and not me and that she was his previous owner. Since me and the dog have been at my mums I have had him micro chipped in my name so surely that gives me the legal right to him? Although, again, I have no doubt he will claim I have illegally chipped him and had no right to do so. I have no documentation for him other than his micro chipping documents and I am ultimately worried that if he attempts to take the dog i might not 'have a leg to stand on'. I am genuinly concerned because my dog is happy, content and well looked after and I am worried that if my ex partner takes him he will be left with every tom dick and harry for various lengths of time due to the kind of unsettled life my ex lives.

I urgently need advice on where I stand and what, if any, rights I have to him. PLEASE HELP!

Hi Laura, sorry to hear about your problem, I have no legal knowledge but I am sure that others on here will have and be able to advise you.
The important thing is not to panic, do not be drawn into any rows or arguments. Just keep calm, I don't think anyone can just come along and seize your dog, and I doubt very much the police would be interested in what is a domestic dispute.

I would say do not let your ex enter your mothers property, keep your dog safe and secure at all times so he cannot snatch the dog. I would tell him that you have no intention of handing the dog over and if he wants to presue the matter he will have to take you to court.
I doubt very much that he would go to the expense and trouble of taking you to court, it sounds to me that he is just making threats to cause you as much upset as possible. Do not respond to him, cut off all communications with him, and do not let him see that he is causing you upset, as this is what he wants.
He is more than likely getting a kick out of all trauma he is causing, so do not discuss the matter on social network sites etc. so that he can see your reaction.
Just enjoy your dog and be glad you are out of the relationship, sound like you and your dog will be much better and safer without him. Well done you for having the courage to leave, now don't look back only forward, enjoy your life and a brighter future.

I highly doubt the police would provide me with any support what so ever to be quite honest, as like you said it would be classed as a domestic dispute. But the issue I have is that he isnt just saying hes going to take the dog hes making violent threats that if I dont hand him over peacefully he will force his way into my mothers home and I believe he would do this. He wouldnt go to the bother of taking me to court, he would resort to underhand tactics. Ive made a point of only informing my mum about the situation as its her house so I think she should be aware of what could potentially happen and I havent mentioned anything on facebook or anything like that. The only people that are aware are myself, my mum and the people who read this post.

I know that hes not thinking about whats best for the dog hes just trying to hurt me in the one way that he knows will devastate me, I might not of had him very long but I believe a dog is for life and as much as he can be hard work I wont give him up to anyone or anything EVER. Im refusing to let him go because I am truly concerned that if my ex took him he would have a very unsettled life and my ex isnt the kind of person who has patience either. Im hoping that hel calm down and come to his senses and leave me and my dog well alone but as I dont know if he will or not im just trying to find as much advice as I can get so if he should try to or be sucessful in taking my dog at least Il know what legal grounds ive got hopefully....

Is this dog a pedigree, and if so who's name is it registered in ?
Have you taken this dog to a vet or registered it at one in your name ?
Do you have any receipts which show you have bought food/wormer etc for the dog ?
How long has it been in your sole care at your mothers ?

I think I would be contacting the police for advice regarding threats to your mothers property.

As far as I am aware he is not a pedigree, hes registered at the vets in my name and his micro chip is in my name, I did have receipts but I didnt hang on to the ones for his food, flea treatment and wormer as I didnt think id need them, I have got 3 emails from ebay confirming that I purchased two leads and a ball for him. Hes been with me at my mums since the 9th february. His previous owners took care of his jabs when they owned him so I think they might also have vetinary documents aswell.

Im considering contacting the police but at the same time I dont want to aggrivate the situation as im hoping he might decide to back off.

Laura,

the person that is viewed as the legal owner of any dog is the one that has care and custody on a day to day basis. Therefore this is you. If your boyfriend seizes the dog he is effectively stealing your property. In law a dog is treated as property. That said you have not split up from your boyfriend for long and it seems to be a case of your word against his. These kind of disputes can get messy.

I would be concerned about threats your ex has made to break and enter your mum's house.

I would advise you to perhaps speak to dog law expert Trevor Cooper http://www.doglaw.co.uk/?gclid=CKGwos2ThLYCFUbMtAodOHYA7Q

How is he making these violent threats? Is he sending you texts on your phone or voice mail? If he is then you have proof that he is being threatening and the police would be obliged to talk to him. Now whether this would inflame the situation is something only you can decide. In the meantime as others have said you must not be drawn into arguments with him. If he phones your mobile then ignore him and switch him to your answerphone. The issue of ownership is a civil matter that unless one of you backs down can only be determined by court proceedings.

Freelancer, thankyou for the link il give it a try. If this is the case then I am most definately without a doubt the legal owner as my dog is with me 24/7!

Roscoe, ive got a number of threatening texts on my phone which im saving as proof incase he decides to follow through. As of today I will not be communicating with him anymore, I wont answer his calls and il just ignore his texts but save them incase I need them should the police be involved. I want to contact the police just so that they have it on file should a situation occur but at the same I dont want the police to contact him as I know for sure this would just aggrivate him and I want to avoid this as much as possible. Im desperate, I dont want to lose my dog!

I am genuinly concerned because my dog is happy, content and well looked after and I am worried that if my ex partner takes him he will be left with every tom dick and harry for various lengths of time due to the kind of unsettled life my ex lives.

This is what you need to say to your ex - calmly as it is the only card that you have to play here apart from some very weak fact that the dog is under your name at the vets. (The microchipping happened afterwards and you should not have done that yet)

Cases like this usually come down to who paid for the dog, as your husband has a living person in front of him who will swear to the dog being given or sold to him and he is the owner you don't have a leg to stand on. Unless, the dog was bought for you as a present and the date of sale will correspond with it being a Birthday, Christmas, Anniversary, Valentines.

The dog was bought when you were a couple and it was by him so the dog is his. Sorry but it is.

Unless you can talk to him and get him to stop being selfish and just look at the dog and it's life, he is within his rights to have the dog back, sorry, but he is, he could quite easily say that you have taken the dog to score points too.

You can tell him quite rightly that any violence or threat of violence will be reported to the police and you need to do this immediately, don't put it off, his bad behaviour will all help you if there is a case taken to court, so use these threats and report him straight away.

But firstly, please, please try to get him to sit down with you and talk to him about it and if by any miracle you can get him to agree the dog is better off with you have a witness and a statement ready for him to sign the dog over to you,

This sounds as though it will get very, very, messy otherwise and he has the most important cards here in the fact that he bought the dog.

You may have to let this dog go if you can not get him to listen, so stay calm and be the grown up here, no shouting, no threats just a sit down over a coffee at his house, or somewhere neutral, do not let him in your mum's home.

Sorry, situations like this really are horrible. I really hope you can get it sorted.

Ive tried to explain to him that the dog is better off here as I am much more stable and he is happy, content, well looked after and loved very much but my ex will not listen, he is adamant that he is going to take him even though he hasnt even got a propper place to live hes sleeping on his friends sofa which again isnt going to be good for the dog couped up in a high rise block of flats!

We tried to stay in contact in the hope that we could work things out and this is when we agreed that it would be a good idea to have him chipped, but now my fear is that hes going to argue I did it without his consent which isnt the case at all and considering he said the dog was mine as far as I was concerned I didnt even need his permission but I still consulted him about it. This is so unfair!

No money changed hands, the dog was given to us as he needed re-homing. We got him just before christmas and he was meant to be my Christmas present, but again I cannot prove he was meant to be a present and theres no proof of sale because no cash was handed over, he came from a close friend of my ex so I never even thought that any proof of sale etc would be necessary, how wrong could I of been?

Theres absolutely no hope at all of sitting down and having an adult conversation about this, I really think im just going to have to wait and see if anything comes of what hes said and if it does then it really is going to be a case of my word against his, I can only pray that I dont have to let my go. This isnt even about me, its about whats best for my dog and I know for a damn right fact hes better off here.

Did you microchip the dog after leaving your boyfriend or before?

As I have said, I think that this is very much a case of your word against his, but the fact remains that you had physical possession of the dog which may be some evidence towards showing that you have had day to day care and custody of him, even when living with your b/f.

I would look at putting together every scrap of evidence to show how it was you and not your b/f that looked after the dog day to day while you lived together. For instance, did you visit pet shops and buy a lead and collar for him, was it you who bought his food, took him to the vet, were you seen out walking him daily alone?

A case like this will never be straightforward so to settle it you probably would have to go to the small claims court see this link http://www.doglaw.co.uk/custody.php

However, on the surface of it, you are the owner. For instance, if tomorrow your dog savaged someone it would be you and not your b/f that was prosecuted under the DDA.

Do keep any evidence of threats made to you/your property. I would consider alerting the police to threats so far if only to provide an audit trail, but would seek legal advice first.

Sounds as though your best course of action then if conversation is dead is to just do as you are and call his bluff, although let him know that any violence or threats will be reported to the police, let's hope that stops him? Let's also hope that he will not take you to court.

Nasty business cases like this, just a warning to everyone when you're a couple and a dog is bought, if you talk of who gets the dog when you break up you need to have it in writing, you really do, or better still pay for the dog yourself so that there is never any come back. :-(

Freelancer, I had my dog chipped after we had broken up but we still discussed it first.

Im going to be finding every tiny detail of evidence that shows hes been in my care, il be going through the rubbish tomorrow to try and find any receipts that relate to things ive bought for my dog, ive got pictures on my phone of him in my mums house and theyll all be dated so theyve got to count for something? I walk past the corner shop every morning to take him to the park and the shop owner always see's me and im always on my own with him, I buy his food from the same place all the time so theyl know me in there (i know that doesnt prove a thing about the dog but why would i buy dog food all the time if i didnt have a dog at home?). I dont really have any evidence to prove that I was his sole owner whilst I lived with my ex but im sure il be able to find enough to show that since we split he has been solely my responsibility and in my care 24/7.

I might try to seek some legal advice tomorrow, not sure how much help they could give me but I really cannot bare the thought of not having my dog.

Carrington, ive got no hope of having a rational conversation with him about this he just wont listen hes so blinded by hurting me that he cant see whats best for the dog! All I can do now is call his bluff and hope its just hot air that he wont actually come and take him. Ive told him last night that all of his threats were being saved and if he attempted to cause damage to gain entry or to be violent I would calling the police. I just dont want to jump the gun and call the police now incase I aggrivate the situation and he actually acts on trying to take my dog. I know he wont take me to court hes not the kind of person who could be bothered to although if he did id be more than happy to attend court as I am not giving my dog up without a battle!

If I could give couples advice on pets - get a gold fish. Dont get a dog, because when things get nasty not only have you lost a partner but you run the risk of losing your dog too and its too much heartache to bare. If i lose my dog I can honestly say I dont think id ever own one again.

Laura,

You might want to read the information Here   There are links further down the page which may also help.

It should help you to assess when you need to involve the police.   You might want to just call them for a chat and advice, and to log what has happened so far. Then, if he goes further, you have a record of his earlier threats.  The police do take this sort of thing seriously these days.

To talk to a trained person about this http://www.stalkinghelpline.org/

Hope this helps

If you haven't spoken to the DogLaw people already do so, they will be able to tell you where you stand with the various bits of supporting evidence you have.

When I took my brother's dog on they advised me that if it were to go to court, it would go in my favour because none of the vet records were ever in his name (she was his for 10 years, I fostered her initially but she was so neglected I refused to hand her back) and I was providing all her care.  But that was a different situation, I had everyone on my side and he only had the microchip in his name (which isn't legal proof of ownership, and was in an old address anyway).  So for you I think it's imperative that you talk to the people in the know.

Do report the threats - I think they will help if this turns into a legal battle as threatening behaviour is an offence.  As Laura says the police will be interested in that even if they aren't interested in your dog, and having them on record is important.

ETA I'd also be very careful about how and where you walk him - he knows your ex and would likely go towards him if he saw him, giving the ex an excellent opportunity to just grab him.  So be careful about off-leading.  Try to go to new places that the ex won't think to look for you in, at least for a while - then he'll have less chance of finding you if he is set on trying to get the dog back (rather than just threatening you simply to scare you as my neighbour's ex did about their pets).  Don't leave him unattended in the garden, don't leave him home alone if you can.  Take every precaution.

Actually, a verbal contract or agreement IS legally binding, the problem is proving it - did anyone ELSE witness this conversation?

Right now, the dog is in your care, you are paying for and housing the dog and you are providing for his/her needs - and you can prove this (microchipped, clearly the dog IS being fed and ex partner could NOT prove that he is funding that, because he isn't).

Make sure you keep all receipts and any other evidence that you are financially responsible for the dog from now on - if you have card statements that show you have spent money at places like Pets At Home etc, those will be useful too.

Definitely report the threats - ok so all you are likely to get is a crime ref. number, but if you get one and then keep having to phone the police up and add yet another thing to the list, it all adds up and won't do him ANY favours at all.

I would take steps to prevent him from stealing the dog - so walk her with another person in places he wouldn't go to, try not to leave her home alone etc.

His only REAL course of action would be to go to small claims court - the chances of him doing that in the first place are slim to none I think - the chances of him winning are probably less than 50%  - his friend COULD make a statement saying he gave the dog to your ex, yes - but once that happened the dog was no longer the friends property, and since YOUR ex said that you should keep the dog (and that is what has happened) in the event of a break up - what the prior owner says he wanted or did not want is not relevant at all.

A court may want to know what your ex had done to support the dog, so he would need to show evidence of buying food, registering with a vet, microchipping etc etc - I assume he can't do that.

They would also what to know what steps had been taken to get the dog back - what does he have to show them? Threatening text messages? That won't be useful to him!

And the vets will have record of everything you paid them for, so no need to worry about not having their receipts

I havent been back on here since a couple of days after I created this post, but I just wanted to say thankyou to everyone for your advice. The dispute between me and my ex partner over my dog has now been settled, hes finally realised that the dog is best off with me and it will remain that way. I dont have proof that he has said this as it was a phone conversation but I have reasonable belief that he wont be making anymore threats or disputing ownership of my dog. And since I created this post I have dug out everything that might be considered proof that he belongs to me and will continue to keep every receipt from dog products purchased, invoices from the vets etc and I will soon have his insurance documents too once the new policy has been processed etc. So again, thankyou everyone for your help and advice, its been much appreciated!

That's really good to hear. :)

That is good news, so pleased that common sense prevailed. :-)

Might be as well to get him to confirm in writing that this is your dog, just in case.

however I understand that a spoken word isnt legally binding.

It is legally binding,but, can you prove it was said? the legal reason its binding is because its an oral contract so comes under contract law. If cant prove it then can you get someone to witness and create a situation where he says he did not mean it or something which means to a courtthat he did say it in the first place