Hi

My husband and I have recently separated. He has kept two dogs and I have taken my five year old border collie with me. Jack has always been a slightly nervous dog, despite early socialisation, puppy class etc but the separation really seems to have taken its toll on him. He used to be fine with people and 99% of other dogs (just had a thing against large, entire males occasionally) but now he is starting to growl and bark at some people and dogs, especially if they appear without him noticing.

I am now trying to find somewhere to rent and for the first time ever he will be left alone. I work full time but will be able to walk him before work, at lunch time for a good 40 mins and after work. This is the same as before but he had the other dogs for company.

He has spent the last 4 weeks living with my parents who have been with him all day and he is really missing the other dogs. I am worried that being on his own is going to make him even more nervous. He cannot stay with my parents or go back to my husband. I really don't want to part with him but I want to do the right thing for him.

I would appreciate people's opinions (I know I may not find them easy to hear) as I don't have many people to talk to about it!

Gemma

Will your parents live near by as cant he stay with them during the day ?

Is it worth looking at getting a house share, I let a room in mine, my current house mate has a dog with apparently severe seperation anxiety.  There is no denying that she is happiest with my housemate but there is no destruction or major anxiety (sweaty paws etc) when she leaves her now as she leaves her with my dogs who are settled and ok.

Will you be able to take a few weeks off work when you move into the rented place? That way you could gradually build up the time you leave him alone. Starting with just 10 mins or so and building it up to a few hours. Leaving him food in kongs etc.

Another idea would be to have a dog walker walk him for part of the day when you're out - if you can find a good one. Some trainers do dog walking and would be able to give feedback on his behaviour. I know he doesn't need this extra walk from an exercise point of view, but it would be a sociable walk with other dogs. Maybe this would allow you to put your feet up when you visit him at lunchtime too. Though I expect affording A dog walker might be tricky at the moment.

The setup you describe is how my bc lived quite happily for nearly 14 years. They are a breed which can be left alone for periods if properly exercised and stimulated. It's just a question of getting him used to this new situation and making sure he has other outlets for doggy socialising too. Maybe flyball at weekends or working trials?

Thank you for all your advice.

I will take some time off and my parents will only be 5 mins away. They are prepared to have him some of the time so he won't be alone all the time by any means.

I have a sensitive border collie (probably not as bad as yours) and he heavily relies on my other male BC.  When they are separated he will withdraw into himself if it is for any length of time and loses loads of confidence - bring them back together and he is back to my usual loon whom you wouldnt believe was sensitive at all.

Its a shame you couldnt have had two of the dogs,  I do believe dogs do prefer to be with one another rather than alone but as I said thats personal opinion.

Your dog needs to be given time to settle to his new life, you may see a number of behaviours emerge, and exaggerated if already a nervous dog. If your parents only live 5 mins away, could you leave him with them to start with and phase in the time alone at home (assuming you're going to be living reasonably close) - maybe they could take him to your new home late afternoon, so he's there when you return? Gradually increasing the time alone in your home, depending on how he gets on.

If he was nervy before then this won't have helped I agree that him staying at your parents for differing lengths of time will help him adjust to you being away at work.

I won't rehome any of my adult dogs to homes that have no dogs because through out their lives they have always had canine company in varying numbers and naturally seem to pair off with someone in the pack.

I hope you get things sorted soon