As you know my beloved Sadie went to the bridge recently,I am not comming to terms with my loss or her loss of life,my other lab looks lost without her,do you think by getting a puppy would fill this void,after all theres a other little life that needs a good home,I know its early days but I have spoken to Sadies breeder and the pups are related to our Sadie and i find that comforting,do you think it would make my Annie a happy dog again.

Sheila

I'm sorry for your loss, and I think most of us know exactly how you are feeling. I'm not sure how long it's 'supposed' to take to 'get over' losing a friend. I cried the other day over a video of dogs that have been gone for many years.

Anyway, to answer your question, yes definitely a new puppy always helps, if only to keep you and Annie busy. The new puppy is of course not replacing Sadie, but it will make your household full of life and laughter again :-)

My old borzoi boy was really down after his brother died, they had never been apart since they were born. I rescued an elderly lurcher girl and that gave him a new lease of life, he has now outlived her too but has the young silken windhound to keep him on his toes now. I have no doubt that he wouldn't have lived this long himself if he didn't have the canine company he has. I have 2 collies too but collies play very differently for hounds and are just not the same for Tchi :-)

We all work differently, some people feel they need a long break before getting a new pup, others feel the need straight away. In your case as you have another dog left lonely as well, if I was you I'd go for a new pup. I'm sure it will help both of you. Just remember it is somebody entirely new and not Sadie. When my very first dog died and I got a new pup for a while I almost resented the pup as he wasn't my old dog, if you see what I mean. Then I realised I had to look at him as completely different individual and I fell in love with him for what he was, not for the bloodlines he was from. (This was also a relative.) Also of course puppies are puppies, and won't ever act the same as fully adult dogs that's learnt a lot.  Only the other day did a friend of mine say about my Cavalier "He's nothing like Rufus was, is he!" -and that wasn't said in a NICE way, it was a criticism. I pointed out that well actually, Monty is very much like Rufus was -when he too was just 2 years old. But Rufus was 15 when he died and so for many years had not been anything like a lively, playful, naughty 2 year old! Personally I enjoy this so much -a young, healthy dog with the future ahead of him. :)

There's no right or wrong way to feel, act or react in these situations - it's whatever feels right to you.

I desperately want to go and find myself another mental problem dobergirl after losing my girl on Saturday - but I know it's not the right time at the moment (and probably for quite some time yet) for a fair few reasons.  But in your situation, if you think a pup would help you and your girl then go for it :-)

> I desperately want to go and find myself another mental problem dobergirl after losing my girl on Saturday

Nikita - You're very welcome to take on my problem demon Dobergirl Hattie!

To the OP, I think a pup from the same lines as Sadie would be lovely for you and your other dog. It's always nice to have that "link" even though he/she would be an individual and not a replica. Go for it!

I do think that I am actually looking for another Sadie,and I know thats not fare,as I am searching my breeders bloodlines,Julia said to me oh Sheila you will never get another sadie,I am crying writing this so no its probobly not the right time,the gp has prescribed me anti/deppres but they have made me feel worse so not going to take anymore,I have never felt such grief,think i am going to have a couple of weeks of work and get myself back on track,and take it from there,the puppies are due 26th november and be ready to go mid january,

Sheila

Rrrrr Pedlee you have made me smile.

Sheila x

Not sure if this is any help, but when my second dog died, I felt no other dog of the same breed could ever compare to him -so I got a different breed. In time I felt able to have the same breed again. My aunt and uncle have always done this when one old dog has died, they have gone for a different breed to avoid comparisons.

As the pups aren't due yet, and not ready for even longer, you presumably have some time and I'm sure the breeder understands and might be able to give you a little while. Maybe visit the pups when a few weeks old (so that if you decide not to have one, there will still be plenty of time to find another home) and see how you feel?

Whenever you feel ready to bring a new pup into your home is the right answer.  There's no amount of time that you should have to wait.  Years ago (about 14!) we lost our oldest dog and this left one 10 year old GSD on his own.  We had decided the following year would be when we would add a new pup to the family.  However the GSD was beside himself, he was pining that badly we thought we were going to lose him...luckily a few months down the line we found a Rottie pup to come and join us, it took another 3 weeks for our old dog to accept the puppy then one day they just went mad playing in the garden, we were so glad we added our new dog and it made not only our GSD happy and bright again but us too as we had a little monster to concentrate on.

I'm sorry for the pain you are going through, it takes a long time to accept the passing of a dear friend and grief is a journey that has a different path for each of us. 

By January you may have found enough peace to accept a new joy into your life, that will be a good distraction for you and your other dog. Why not put your name down now and let the breeder know that you won't know for sure until nearer the time.

When I lost my Balto I knew I had to have another smooth chow in my life as he was so wonderful, I didn't want a new pup to replace him but to be a tribute to him. Thor is a different colour to Balto and his face a different shape but his personality is just the same.  I see Thor as himself but he also reminds me so much of Balto that I smile (and sometimes cry) with fond memories.

Don't forget to discuss with your GP if you stop taking what he has prescribed for you.  When I was on antidepressants they made my head spin for at least 2 weeks and it was probably another 2 weeks until they started to work.
((hugs))
Mel

I think you should only get  another puppy if you feel ready for another one and not because you think it will benefit your other dog. The puppy will be with you for years so it has to be a decision made because you want another pup and not for any other reason IMHO.

If you feel ready to love another puppy, yes I think it might well help your other girl (once she's got used to the new toothy interloper!) and I know I would like one that was related. If I hadn't had my other 2 dogs (and Hetty on the way) to take care of when I lost Henry, it would have been much harder to go on with life without him.

I lost my great dog Sam seven years ago on Saturday and I really struggled to accept he had gone. I absolutely missed him like a family member. He was my shadow for almost 14 years but it wasnt long enough. He was a golden cocker and I swore I would never have another. So I got a black and white springer who instantly loved my parents. Sort of liked me but definitely no worshipping! I found myself longing for my boy so fourteen months after he died, I got my second golden cocker. Alfie is my top boy now and the very second I saw this cheeky little pup, he filled the void left by Sam and is my constant companion. I have added my third cocker Lucy almost two years ago and they are definitely made just for me:-) . They never replaced Sam but in their own way, they are just the same. I think if you feel ready to get a pup, that will take up the role of your departed girl, then you will never regret it. Good luck with your decision:-)

I am so sorry to hear this ,grief is so painful ,just remember it just takes time,in time, it wont be the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning,the problem is when you start to feel this low its really hard to drag yourself up,so try to think of all the good times you had,put out the photos and soon you will be smiling not crying when you look at them.
Try to just get on with your day to day stuff,I dont know if getting a pup is a good idea or not,only you can decide,but its a good thing to look forward to even if you dont go for it straight away.
I really hope you start to feel better,taking tablets to help you is ok but as you stopped taking them perhaps you felt deep down that you could get through this without them.
Take time to plan next year,all the days out you want ,places to visit and stuff to see,when Im low I plan things to do,even if they are only small.
Ash x

I lost my not so old dog in April, and it was unexpected,but he had become so poorly very quickly and on the vets advice had him put to sleep.

like everybody else totally devastated because we did not see it coming. I had said that if at any point i were to lose my dogs, i later would go for another dog from the hound group,and very nearly did.

Having thought about changing my breed, one day i was in the kitchen cooking the evening meal,and suddenly thought how would i feel if i were to turn around and see some other breed of dog standing behind me,when for the past twenty odd years i have only had my breed gathered around me,and that made my mind up there and then. I went back to my breed, as i also think it is honouring my boys memory to again bring into the home one of his kind.

This of course is just my opinion,a youngster does bring happiness back into your life, and mine certainly gave my oldest dog not exactly a new lease of life,but brought back a bit of normality into his life.

> I do think that I am actually looking for another Sadie

I know what you mean. I did the very same thing some years ago and researched a pup from a litter with very similar bloodlines. Within a couple of months he was home with us and looked uncannily like the one we'd lost. But you know what - in character he was completely different. He was very much his own person, if you see what I mean, and we loved him for himself. We only had a gap of about two months but he filled the need we had and I know we gave him a good life too. It was definitely the best thing for us.

I would keep your options open if I were you. Stay in touch with the breeder and see how you go. No new pup is going to replace the one you lost but if you go ahead, your newcomer will become a valued family member in its own right and you will find yourself healing along the way.

All the best to you with your decision. x

">I do think that I am actually looking for another Sadie

">Sheila you will never get another sadie

So very very sad and so very very true, there will never be another Sadie just like there will never ever be another Tessa even though I wish there could be,  we can only console and content ourselves with Tessa's garden and with the affections and needs of our four other dogs.

Like your sad Lab we have a sad Collie that has known Tessa all of her 13yrs of life, we find that it helps us to pile all of our grief into positive energy and try to help our Collie realise that even though her big sister and helper in life has gone she can still have fun.

You have pups on the way and are going to need every ounce of energy and love that you can muster for your mum to be, she needs you now, your lovely Sadie is safe and had you when she needed you.

I know it is hard for you as we are there in the same boat too, but try to gather all of your strength and focus on the new life that you will shortly see.

Take care
xx

Oh Pinky,I havent got any pups due,its sadies breeder,we take Annie out with us in the car when poss so she is not left alone,bless her she is flat out on my lovely big designer bed with Tom kitten at the mo,but shes not bothered about our tom,we have had lots of nice walks with other dogs but she just trails behind,going take her to pets at home tomorrow for a mooch,just trying to keep us both busy.

Sheila xxx

Sorry I got the wrong end of the stick, I don't read so well through wet eyes.

Keep yourself busy hun and enjoy your mooch round pets at home, maybe the odd doggie trinket or two might help.
Thinking of you
xx

>I think you should only get  another puppy if you feel ready for another one and not because you think it will benefit your other dog. The puppy will be with you for years so it has to be a decision made because you want another pup and not for any other reason IMHO.

Harley makes an important point here.  One of my pups went to a lady that wanted her for her other dog.  This dog accepted a friend and loved having someone to play with.

Unfortunately, it soon became apparent that this lady didn't really want a puppy.  After lots of her distraught telephone calls, I asked - did you really want this puppy, or did you get it for your other dog.  When she admitted that she didn't really want another dog, but her dog was lonely, I went and picked up my pup.  She had been gone over a month, and her dam had since been spayed.  It was really touching to see them meet again.  They are now the rowdiest two in the house!  :-)

So true,,its that I dont want to be disloyal to Sadie,I have always got my labs from excellent breeders and they know me well,I have filled a adoption form in also for lab rescue,so I will see how it goes,I am not ready yet , I am still grieving.I will never forget when my Penny was pts 13 years,we went looking at other pups and I felt nothing,my husband fell in love with Sadie and brought her home, after a week I was laughing again and she brought sunshine into my life,my dogs always come first and always will,no matter what,if I lived on my own I would have a few labs roaming around,that is heaven to me.

Sheila

Hi  I'm being naughty not had chance to read them all yet before i say anything.

Holly started sleeping a lot a few years ago, when I bought my first Shiddie into the house it gave holly a new lease of life.  She was interested again and lively, that was four years ago.  i believe she wouldn't be here now if we hadn't bought a pup in.  I'd do it, it will give you some comfort also.

I don't think theirs anything wrong looking at the bloodlines that Sadie beloged to, I've been doing the same, I've traced litter mates and then searched their pups etc.  I don't think you want to replace Sadie or looking for another just the connection.

Go and arrange with the breeder to at least consider your puppy.  You will know if its the right thing.

You can pm if you want to chat, you helped me when I needed it so not a problem, not put it very well.

I have other dogs who are acting quite oddly but they do have each other. Me? Im just trying not to think about my loss.

Sheila

This web site maybe of use

http://www.sayinggoodbyetoyourangelanimals.com/

When ever I have lost an oldie I have always brought in a newbie about a year before threy have gone as I have always thought about the future with the ones that are left and how it would affect them (OK for me as well ! ).

I think there is anothing wrong at all in introducing a new addition soon after you have lost one as they can never be replaced but the new addition will form part of the future and that is what the focus will be and so if yu can see the future with happiness and joy then to me it is a no brainer ! It doesnt mean you have forgotten or will ever forget them as they will always have a space in your heart and it is amazing how much space there is to accomodate a new love into it :-)

Sheila
No other dog will ever take Sadie's place. She was irreplaceable. However, I have bought a puppy 1 month after losing an oldie. They have never taken that dogs place BUT they do help you get over the grief as you have to be so focussed on their upbringing. This litter that you are interested in will not be born for a while and you have time to change your mind before the pup is ready to come home. Don't push yourself so hard, just go with the flow.
I know that I once sold a pup to a lady who was still grieving 5 months after losing their other dog. I was concerned that she was looking for her old dog back again and did chat it through with her. I know 10 years on that she loves this 'pup' as much as her old dog and will have the same grief when she loses her. What the 'pup' did was allow her to laugh again.
As for coming to terms with losing Sadie, well I am still grieving a dog that I lost 3 years ago so I don't put time limits on grief.

Hi will buy one of these books,its been awful at one point Ididnt want to go on living myself,but have to do so I can look after Annie bless her,will go up to yorkshire and have a look at the wonderful litter of Rocherby labs,there will be yellow and black babies,they are related to our Sadie and like you say there is more space to fill,thanks Lis.

Sheila xx

So sorry you're feeling so sad and that we haven't invented something to makethem live for 70 years at least!!

I lost my eldest girl last year, a farm bred, no papers, bought so wrongly collie and loved the very bones of that dog, miss her so deeply in so many ways. She was a wonderful dog, bossy just enough, pushy just enough but never overly anything in anyway. I said to the family when the time came I would love a red collie bitch and just looked about and found a litter, called up to visit the pups explained I would not be taking a pup from this litter would love to follow their progress for future litters so made the appt for 2 days time. Then very suddenly the afternoon of the appt I had to have my old girl put to sleep. I kept the appt with the breeder, she showed me the last pup which I thought thank goodness not so keen on the markings ( how rude of me!!) then she realised was the wrong pup and picked up the other, rest is history!!! I visited twice more before finally deciding she was for me and haven't looked back since!!

When I first visited the pups were 3 weeks so I had a month or so to adjust and prepare which kept me busy but gave me the space I needed, although I felt guilty, I knew my old girl had made the choice for me, I felt she knew that this little girl was for me and called it time. The new girl is sooooooooooo much like my old girl it's terrible we have occasionally called her the wrong name but we adore her.

I still miss Molly and no one will ever replace her but Ruby is superb and I'm so glad I have her, I spent weeks crying walking just 3 dogs at a time even when we had the puppy at home. I was used to 4 collies tearing around with me and felt odd with a mere 3!! Now we have our 4 and we have our just bossy enough, just pushy enough girl back!! Wonderful! I did appreciate the time though I had to wait, gave the time I needed to make a good choice.

>>,its been awful at one point Ididnt want to go on living myself,but have to do so I can look after Annie bless her

That's because we love them so much and have caring natures to boot.  Sometimes these special dogs come along to enhance our lives and are irriplacable for a reason.  I agree a new pup if you wanted on would make you smile again and help you come to terms with the loss of Sadie.  The fond memories will outway your grief and help you recover.  I know how you feel, just a weekend of at the time going through with it was heartwrenching.  My girl was looking at me to say for gods sake give it a rest :).

I can't even read the rainbow bridge, a the first post and a line and I'm a mardy miss.  i try most times, maybe I'll manage it one day.

Sending you hugs for support and offering you some strength.

I'm so sorry you feel like this. It is a rotten time. Anti depressants often make you feel worse before they make you feel better so stick at it or speak to the doctor and see if anything else can be prescibed (some types dont agree with everyone).