This was written by Averil Cawthera-Purdy. Sorry cant do a link, but it is on page 37 of this weeks Dog World. I defy you to read it without laughing. I have tears rolling down my face.....!!

Not fair, won't pick mine up til Tuesday.

They had this at my vets and let me photocopy it.

I agree - i too had tears of laughter rolling down my face - so, so funny and true! :-)

not this one is it

How To Pill a Cat

Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on each side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat gently in left arm and repeat process.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, pick up and throw soggy pill away.

Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for count of ten.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into cat's mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill out of foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep up shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set on one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with a pencil and blow into drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door just enough so that head is showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with plastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by a large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearms and removes pill from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home and order new dining table.

Arrange for ASPCA to collect cat and contact local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Pill a Dog

Wrap it in bacon.

Genius - it used to be on the wall in my old vet's waiting room.

Yes thats it. So funny and true.!
Also the ps. How to administer a pill to a dog: Wrap it in bacon.

Hilarious-and so true! :-)

thanks Ingrid, I was hoping some one would print it out :) very funny

oh a bit late to post on this but it reminded me so much of my darling big black cat sorcha who we sadly lost in 2009.
Sorcha had never ever raised a paw in anger,the most gentle cat that ever lived.
Me and my husband tried to give her tablets,my husband had the 'cat between the knees grip' and sorcha,never struggled or wriggled, but was an olympic champion at spitting the pills across the kitchen floor,the more we laughed at her ,the more cross she became,and would growl and make chirruping noises to get her point across.
After several attempts,I got one down,I picked her up and cuddled her telling her what a good girl she was,and how easy it can be,when I noticed a lump in her cheek,her little mouth was pursed shut,as she was hiding the damn pill.
I then couldn't get her to give it up.
I just bought a pestle and mortar and ground it up in the end.